New Words

May 7, 2005

[From my email]

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to

take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or

changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's

winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you

realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops

bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows

little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of

getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the

subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person

who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these

really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's

like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day

consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when

they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after

you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your

bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in

the fruit you're eating. And the pick of the literature:

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

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