OT/Humor Anyone :-)

[Guest guest]

Time for a few chuckles maybe????

 

Hugs,

Marilyn

____________________

 

Quirks About Life That You Notice By The Time You Are Fifty....

 

 

+ Most people deserve each other.

 

+ All the good ones, no matter what it is, are taken.

 

+ The one who snores will fall asleep first.

 

+ The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to

the amount of money spent on the wedding.

 

+ If you help a relative in need, he/she will remember you

the next time they are in need.

 

+ The probability of meeting someone you know increases

greatly when you are out with someone you do not want to

be seen with.

 

+ Toothaches always start on Friday night right before the

weekend when the Dental Office will be closed.

 

_______________________________

 

A Woman....A Man....

 

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

 

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

 

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife

can spend.

 

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

______________________________

TOP TEN REASON'S EVE WAS CREATED

 

10. God worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the

garden because he would not ask for directions.

 

9. God knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate

and hand him the TV remote.

 

8. God knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new

fig leaf when his seat wore out and would therefore need

Eve to get one for him.

 

7. God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctor's,

dentist or haircut appointment for himself.

 

6. God knew that Adam would never be able to remember which

night to put the garbage on the curb.

 

5. God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would

never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of

childbearing.

 

4. As Keeper of the Garden Adam would never remember where he

left his tools.

 

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when

God caught him hiding in the garden.

 

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

 

And finally, the number ONE reason that God created Eve...

 

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back,

scratched His head and said, " I can do better than that. "

______________________

Getting Ready For A Big Date....

 

 

Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and

pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway. Shortly after

followed the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle.

 

A curious neighbor wandered over and asked if he was going to

have a garage sale.

 

" No, " replied the gentleman, " my son just bought his first car

and right now he's getting ready for a big date. "

 

" So what's with all the stuff? " asked the neighbor.

 

" Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports equipment

out of the way every time I came home from work I wanted to make

sure the driveway was ready for him. "

______________________

 

The Biggest Lies In The World....

 

 

+ It's a good thing you came in today. It's the last one we have.

 

+ I promise to pay you back on my next paycheck.

 

+ You made it yourself? I would have never guessed.

 

+ Your hair looks just fine.

 

+ It's delicious but I can't eat another bit.

 

+ Go ahead and tell me, I won't tell another sole.

 

+ The doctor will call you right back.

 

+ You don't look a day over 50.

 

+ Your baby is just beautiful.

 

+ I gave at the office.

 

+ Put the map away. I know where we're at.

 

+ Having a great time. Wish you were here.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 01/13/2002 9:52:14 PM Central Standard Time,

menicholson7 writes:

 

 

> " I can do better than that. "

> ______________________

>

 

Hey Marilyn, ya done it again, tickeled my funnybone and of course, I have a

favorite. Keep 'em coming. Deonia