OT: 'Twas the Night Before Ramadan' by Mullah Mohammed Omar ...

[Guest guest]

'Twas the night before Ramadan, and all through the cave Not a

creature was stirring; it felt like a grave.

 

The turbans were hung by the firepit with care, In hopes that the Air

Force would not soon be there.

 

The soldiers were restless without any beds, While visions of air

strikes flashed in their heads.

 

Osama in his burkha and I in my goatskin cap, Had just settled down

for a cold, barren winter's nap,

 

When out on the ledge there arose such a clatter, I grabbed my

Kalashnikov to see what was the matter.

 

Away from the racket I ran like a girl, Tripped over a goat; into a

ball I did curl.

 

The moon shone down on the new-fallen snow And lit up the valley with

an ominous glow,

 

When, what to my one good eye should appear, But a dozen Apaches, and

tanks in the rear,

 

And their leader, so fearless, his troops he did push, I knew in an

instant it must be George Bush. more rapid than eagles his forces they

came,

 

And they whistled, and shouted, and called out our names; " Now Omar!

Osama! Muhammad! Abdul!

 

We come for you now; we've taken Kabul! To the top of the cliffs! To

the back of their caves!

 

When you chose this war, you dug your own graves! " As the dry leaves

that before the assault choppers fly,

 

When they meet with an obstacle, light up the sky, So up to the ledge

his forces they flew

 

With full magazines, and flamethrowers too. And then, in a twinkling,

I heard with a thud

 

The explosions of Tomahawks; not one was a dud. As I chambered my

rifle, and was turning around,

 

Osama was there, disguised in a gown. He was dressed all in drag, from

his head to his toes,

 

And he said he would flee while I held off his foes; A bundle of money

he had stuffed in his pack,

 

He said " I'm going to Baghdad and I'm not looking back! " His eyes were

all glassy; he trembled with fear;

 

The American bombs, they rang in his ears. He saddled his goat, then

turned tail and fled,

 

But a Marine Corps sniper got him in the head. I watched with cold

fear as his body did slump;

 

The goat threw him off; he fell with a thump. And so, there I stood,

my plans all destroyed,

 

About to suffer a fate I could not avoid; I dropped to my knees; asked

Allah for help,

 

His voice boomed in my ears, " You ignorant whelp! I gave you the

Bible, the Torah and Koran,

 

But you were too arrogant to understand, I told you to honor your

neighbors and wives;

 

Not to enslave them, or degrade their lives! You invoke My name to

sanction your deeds,

 

But you are the last thing that this world needs. And so, I'll send

you and bin Laden to Hell. "

 

The last words I heard, as the bombs fell, Were from George Bush

himself as he mounted the wall,

 

" One nation, under God, with liberty and justice for all! "

 

Written by Jack Falbey. Inspired by the spirit of freedom.