OT: Arkansaw Christmas

[Guest guest]

Oh Lord Butch!

You out did yourself this time. This little poem is going to my daughter

in college. Poor child gets called a hillbilly by all those city folk from

Chicago! HA!

Jan S

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jans

 

 

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[Guest guest]

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the shack,

not a darn thing was a movin', from the front to the back.

The kids were in bed, ...we had nine at the time,

The wife in her curlers, was lookin' real fine.

A cold wind was blowin', up the holler twas moaning,

All ten dogs on the porch was a'howling and groaning.

 

The boys were all dreamin' of new knives and guns,

for getting some vittles, .....there's no better fun!

The girls in their feminine dreams were attuned,

to getting those gallons of Wal-Mart perfume.

The wife wanted jewelry, like rings with big rocks,

I just wanted my Chevy down off the blocks.

 

Then out in the yard, such a noise did commence,

like something was caught in our new bobwar fence.

I ran to the window, and saw pretty quick,

whut was makin' that racket, was Good Ol' St. Nick.

You may think of Santa in your own mind's eye,

dressed in a red and white suit, but, I've got a surprise.

 

That ol' boy's an Arkie, from up near Mt. Gaylor,

He married his cousin, and they live in a trailer.

On Christmas, of course, a sleigh for his rig,

He hooks up that thing to a Razorback pig!

He climbed on the roof, with his bag full of goodies,

He backed down the fireplace, all dirty and sooty.

 

Fat legs in his britches, chubby hands in his mittens,

from the back, he looked a lot like Bill Clinton.

He turned toward the tree, His eyes all aglow,

He was an Arkansas boy from his head to his toe.

His neck was a red one, His shirt said " Lite Beer " ,

he had a red hat on, but his cap read " John Deere " .

 

He left all the presents, with an air of delight,

Then it was back to the chimney, and into the night.

He ran to the yard, threw his bag in the sleigh,

Then he yelled at the dogs, " Get the hell out th' way! "

 

I ran out to ask him why he brought such good cheer;

But instead he just asked me, " Did you get you a deer? "

Then I heard him exclaim, as those pigs took to flight,

" Merry Christmas to all..... I need a Bud Lite! "