Guest guest Posted November 15, 2001 Report Share Posted November 15, 2001 My sister sent me this funny. Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. While that was an "urban legend," this one is NOT. It's happening every day. I'm sending this "warning" only to a few . You too may have been a victim ... read on. My thighs were stolen from me during the night of August 3rd a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been wholly, if imperfectly, mine for years? Whose thighs were these? What happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for them. I searched, in vain, at pools and beaches, anywhere I might find female limbs exposed. I became obsessed. I had nightmares filled with cellulite and flesh that turns to bumps in the night. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose. Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My rear end was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than the original) to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. Now my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion. Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning while fixing my hair, I watched, horrified but fascinated, as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced, cleverly and fiendishly, one section at a time. In the end, in deepening despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next? Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age was supposed to creep up, unnoticed and intangible, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked, repeatedly and without warning. That's why I've decided to share my story. I can't take on the medical profession by myself. Women of America, wake up and smell the coffee! That isn't really "plastic" those surgeons are using. You know where they're getting those replacement parts, don't you? The next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted," look again! Was it lifted from you? Check out those tummy tucks and buttocks raisings. Look familiar? Are those your eyelids on that movie star? I think I finally may have found my thighs...and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them! This is NOT a hoax! This is happening to women in every town , every night........Warn your friends!!!!!!! LindaRed Barn Enterpriseshttp://www.geocities.com/redbarnenterprisesCandles & Metal Home Decor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 2001 Report Share Posted November 16, 2001 I haven't stopped laughing yet.Very very good lol --- Doug & Linda Manley <redbarn wrote: > My sister sent me this funny. > > > Most of you have read the scare-mail about the > person whose kidneys > were stolen while he was passed out. While that was > an " urban legend, " this > one is NOT. It's happening every day. I'm sending > this " warning " only to a > few . You too may have been a victim ... read on. > > > My thighs were stolen from me during > the night of August 3rd a few years ago. It was > just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke > up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the > texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done such > a > cruel thing to legs that had been wholly, if > imperfectly, mine for years? Whose thighs were > these? What happened to mine? I spent the entire > summer looking for them. I searched, in vain, at > pools and beaches, anywhere I might find female > limbs exposed. I became obsessed. I had nightmares > filled with cellulite and flesh that turns to bumps > in the night. Finally, hurt and angry, > I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and > Sheer Energy pantyhose. > > Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves > struck again. My rear end was next. I knew it was > the same gang, because they took pains to match my > new rear end (although badly attached at least three > inches lower than the original) to the thighs they > had stuck me with earlier. Now my rear > complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I > prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion. > > Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. > One morning while fixing my hair, I watched, > horrified but fascinated, as the flesh of my upper > arms swung to and fro with the motion of the > hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body > was being replaced, cleverly and fiendishly, one > section at a time. In the end, in deepening despair, > I gave up my T-shirts. > > What could they do to me next? Age? Age had nothing > to do with it. Age was supposed to creep up, > unnoticed and intangible, something like maturity. > NO, I was being attacked, repeatedly and without > warning. That's why I've decided to share my story. > I can't take on the medical profession by myself. > Women of America, wake up and smell the coffee! That > isn't really " plastic " those surgeons are using. You > know where they're getting those replacement parts, > don't you? The next time you suspect someone has had > a face " lifted, " look again! Was it lifted from you? > Check out those tummy tucks and buttocks raisings. > Look familiar? Are those your eyelids on that > movie star? I think I finally may have found my > thighs...and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a > really good price for them! > > This is NOT a hoax! This is happening to women in > every town , every night........Warn your > friends!!!!!!! > > Linda > Red Barn Enterprises > http://www.geocities.com/redbarnenterprises > Candles & Metal Home Decor > > > > ===== True friends are like diamonds precious but rare False friends are like autumn leaves found everywhere: Stella Find the one for you at Personals http://personals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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