OT: Humor - The Duck

[Guest guest]

Thanks Butch

I like that - I like jokes about ducks - did you hear about the ducks that got married?

They were in their hotel room and 'Mr Duck' rang for for room service and asked for some condoms.

When room service returned with the condoms on a dish, he said 'where shall I put these sir?'

'Oh' , said Mr Duck - 'on my bill please'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ann - Scotland

 

-

Butch Owen

03 November 2001 07:05

OT: Humor - The Duck

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a ham sandwich.The bartender looks at him and says, "But you're a duck." "I see youreyes are working," replies the duck."And you talk!" exclaims the bartender. "I see your ears are working,"says the duck, "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?Certainly," says the bartender, "sorry about that, it's just we don'tgetthat many talking ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?""I'm working on the building site across the road" explains the duck.So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, pays and leaves. Thiscontinues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circuscomes into the pub and the bartender says to him; "You're with thecircus aren't you? I know this duck that would be just brilliant inyour circus. He talks, drinks beer and everything!" "Sounds marvellous," says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call."So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The bartender says, "Hey Duck. I reckon I can line you up with a top job paying really goodmoney!""Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?" "At the circus"says the bartender."The circus?" the duck enquires. "That's right," replies the bartender."The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals? Withthebig canvas roof with the hole in the middle?" asks the duck."That's right!" says the bartender.The duck looks confused and asks: "What the hell do they want with aplasterer?"My Pictures of Aromatic Plants and Exotic Places In Turkeyhttp://members.home.net/chrisziggy1/triptoturkey.html

[Guest guest]

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a ham sandwich.

 

The bartender looks at him and says, " But you're a duck. " " I see your

eyes are working, " replies the duck.

 

" And you talk! " exclaims the bartender. " I see your ears are working, "

says the duck, " Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please? "

" Certainly, " says the bartender, " sorry about that, it's just we don't

get

that many talking ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way? "

 

" I'm working on the building site across the road " explains the duck.

 

So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, pays and leaves. This

continues for 2 weeks.

 

Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus

comes into the pub and the bartender says to him; " You're with the

circus aren't you? I know this duck that would be just brilliant in

your circus. He talks, drinks beer and everything! "

 

" Sounds marvellous, " says the ringleader, " get him to give me a call. "

 

So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The bartender says, " Hey

Duck. I reckon I can line you up with a top job paying really good

money! "

 

" Yeah? " says the duck, " Sounds great, where is it? " " At the circus "

says the bartender.

 

" The circus? " the duck enquires. " That's right, " replies the bartender.

 

" The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With

the

big canvas roof with the hole in the middle? " asks the duck.

 

" That's right! " says the bartender.

 

The duck looks confused and asks: " What the hell do they want with a

plasterer? "

[Guest guest]

So this duck walks into a bar and says " Got any beer? " Bartender looks at him

and says " Get out of here, we don't serve ducks! " Duck comes back the next day

and says " Got any beer? " Bartender says " I told you yesterday, get out of here,

we don't serve ducks! " Duck comes bac in every day for like a week. Finally,

the bartender has had it. Next time the duck walks in and says " Got any beer? "

the bartender says " Look, duck, if you come in here again and say " Got any

beer? " I'm gonna nail your foot to the bar! " Duck comes in the next day and

says " Got any nails? " bartender says " no! " Duck says " Got any beer? "