Dearest Luella

[Guest guest]

Wiping gentle tears as I write.Your caring soul glows in my heart. I'm so grateful to know and learn from and with you, . You give this group a heart, like no other I'm been in or known of. I love you.

I seldom gt feedback about who I am in others' eyes, but I did very clearly yesterday. I went to the ongoing creative writing group for women with cancer yesterday, and found the writing banal and boring at first. They were writing about what they were thinking of cooking for dinner. I wrote about how I felt about long years of having cancer. Then the leader read a poem aloud as inspiration, and I felt like looking at a poem I;d written just after Harry died, and added a few lines at the end. Another poem, and I wrote about wanting to live all my days fully alive to the total range of feelings from great joy to sorrow, and that I seem to have allowed myself to grey my days to avoid pain and sorrow.

The leader handed me the book of wonderful poems by Mary Oliver and said she wanted to give it to me as a gift. I was astounded, but even more so when three of the four others in the group hugged me at the end, and asked me to come back!

I'm an interruption in any group because I'm nearly deaf and hand around an FM transmitter, which interferes with everyone's spontaneity. I feel now that I have a commitment to that group, to bring passion and openness, and not leave to find one that already has it.

I'm still working on those last lines of my poem about grief, but I'm packing to head off again for a few days. Bringing my laptop, so when I get back online, I'll post my revised poem.Rhoda

[Guest guest]

Rhoda,

 

With the greatest respect. I hope I am not misudnerstood here, going

to a group were others are experiencing the thing that you want to

get away from may not be the best thing and maybe writing about that

thing may not be the best for you, I say as if I were your son and

say in love, those you love you won't be the ones you sit around

hugging and crying, but the ones who say let's beat this bastard,

kill it!

 

My mum passed away in my arms from this bastard. Also recently a

friend whom I tried to help but was only listening to her family and

doctors who was only 44yrs of age, anyway when I as in China before

going to help my Dad who also was suffering from this B*%$#rd I

spoke to her on the phone and sent her info in her email and sent

her and a parcel to my Dad, my Dad being simple and so listened and

took what I sent him, my friedn on the other hand listened to the

doctors and her family who were by her bedside and crying and near

her and sad and treating her as if she was going to die, always

asking her are you okay, are you okay? I knew that this type

of 'love' was gonna bury her so I tried to speak to the family and

they wouldn't have any of it.

 

My Dad got better and is 'Clear' no cancer - she passed away. What

saved him I beleive is medical intervention, also I gave him Essiac

Tea but mostly Apricot Kernels about 30 a day, this was even before

the cancer was confirmed by the doctors.

 

If you want me to help you Rhoda you can PM me and I will. Think of

yourself as on a stage and you are kind of piggy in the middle,

Cancer on one side and Health and sunshine on the other side, you in

the middle, look towards the dark and Cancer side and you turn your

back to the Sun, so turn your back to the Dark/Cancer and move

towards the light, look to it. As the Master said we cannot serve

two masters, move towards the light.

 

Listen to cool songs that really uplift you and remind of times that

were great in your life, create poems of power and sunshine and

beauty and health, keep away from people who talk about their

problems in the negative, if you acn't find any talk to me and I'll

make you laugh.

 

Did I tell about the numerous times I did coffee enemas and couldn't

get to the bathroom on time and irrigated the carpet before reaching

the toilet and my dad going mad, hahaha!!! True.

 

Here's a song I live that lifts me up cause of the cheesy dancing

but even though it's uncool it still reminds me of former times and

lifts me up and has nice uplifting words find your songs and

advertise in your own mind Good stuff, happy stuff that is a

condusive environment to recovery and greater health.

 

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=9yrxsuMGdDY & feature=related

 

Hahaha .. did you like it, maybe, maybe not but each of us has out

cool songs that uplift them, find your ones.

 

G