Guest guest Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 I was extremely depressed for a month, seeing the world through a thick gray fog, when my remission ended and my plans for a future after Harry's death ended with a thud.I woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning. Feeling great, full of energy. Why? Why not! I think it's the FOCC kicking in again. I recall feeling this way just a couple of weeks after I started FOCC two years ago. It's three weeks this time. (I had stopped for about three months, knowing that it wasn't working, and wondering about the bovine hormones which correlate closely with hormone-positive cancer). Impossible to be sure, of course. I'm doing so many new things that could be kicking in. And of course, the cancer could have turned a corner. Wednesday morning, I woke up from a dream of cancer receding, and being able to go back to ordinary time. Altho it would be wonderful if this were happening, I doubt it very much. Wednesday I thought it like the dreams of people with amputations or sudden hearing loss or blindness, who dream of being whole and wake up bereft all over again; depressing! A bad day Wednesday. However, I'm marking both days on my calendar. Blood test in two weeks. I don't feel neutral. I FEEL GREAT! I believe that antidepressants bring you to neutral; I'm not bland in spirit, but GREAT. I have the energy to have a life, and also to fight this cancer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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