Survival Mode

July 7, 2006

Survival Mode

by the late Declan Twohig

One of the ways in which we handicap our lives so that

they get bogged down – or we run the risk of compensatory factors that lead to unwanted results like weight gain is the belief system that runs a constant scenario that it is "us" against the world – usually a world that is out to get us or do us wrong. This is called survival mode.

"The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human

being can alter his life by altering his attitude."

-- William James

"To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature

is to go on creating oneself endlessly." -- Henri Bergson

How often have you wanted to change an aspect of your

life, only to find that aspect repeating itself again and again? Repeatable patterns of behaviour and choice-making are forged by success and pleasure....and stress and fear.

Humans are very adept at adaptation. Whatever our life- experience is, if we maintain it long enough, we adapt to it. Even when it's uncomfortable. Ben Franklin once said that a person only needs to do something for two we eks consistently for it to become ingrained as a habit.

Go to the gym daily for two weeks then miss a few days.

Pay attention to how your mood and body reflect the

missed sessions.

Fight constantly with a lover. Decide that you're going

to end the relationship if the conflict doesn't cease.

Then, once it does, notice how often one of you creates disharmony again. It's as if conflict has become a for m of intimacy.

Decide to get rid of an overload of stress in your life.

Then notice how often you set yourself up for it:

Have you ever put off paying a bill (or even looking at

it?) even though you had the money?

Have you ever watched the fuel gauge in your car dip dangerously close to empty? Only to drive past petrol stations hoping to make it to your destination, even though you have money for petrol with you.

Have you ever driven without auto insurance or failed to register your car, even though you had the money for these things? Only to drive nervously, watching the rear- view mirror for the police

Adaptation to survival mode is common for many of us who

have lived with stress and conflict for a sustained

period of time. Overcoming it is not always simple and

easy in the short term (most habits have subtle cues as w

ell as obvious ones).

But overcoming it is just what needs to happen for our

lives to become freeflowing, full, and pleasurable.

How do we overcome survival mode?

By understanding it's characteristics and how they show

up in our attitude, interpretation of experience and

effect on our choices and the options that we believe are available to us is the first step.

It does help to keep even a rudimentary form of journal

so that we can consciously maintain awareness of how our actions that sustain it, are working, in what situations and with what people.

It helps to remember and write down a list of experiences

(both past and present) that represent times when we have risked change, and the change made things better.

It helps to remember and write down a list of experiences

(both past and present) that represent times when we

first interpreted someone's actions or words for the

possible conflict or stress meaning, but then considered another interpretation that was less negative, and, by reacting from the second interpretation, our experience of the event was better.

Overcoming survival mode frees us to experience life

without excessive stress and conflict. If we choose. And

what an important choice to make for the sake of our

families and ourselves. Especially if we have kids. After

all, they learn how to experience life through us. And

the emotional energy that we infuse our homes with become

the normal emotions for them to carry.

Remember the emotional characteristic of your home when

you were a child? Homes filled with joy and sustenance

raise stable, happy kids who, once they are adults,

believe that, regardless of how difficult things get,

they'll be OK.

Homes filled with tension and fear raise anxious kids

who, once they are adults, are often waiting for

something to go wrong and fret easily over things that

haven't even happened yet.

Overcoming survival mode makes life better for everyone involved. If you experience it, at any level, take up the suggestions above and road test them practically. Work them consistently for two weeks so that a higher level of satisfaction, fulfillment and joy become a habit.

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public".

Theodore Roosevelt

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