RE: Humor

[Guest guest]

Dreaded Old AgeI have always dreaded old age. I cannot imagine anything worse thanbeing old. How awful it must be to have nothing to do all day long butstare at the walls or watch TV? So last year, when the Presidentsuggested we all celebrate Senior Citizen Week by cheering up a seniorcitizen, I decided to do just that. I would call on my new neighbor, anelderly retired gentleman, recently widowed, and who, I presumed, hadmoved in with his married daughter because he was too old to take careof himself. I baked a batch of cookies, and, without bothering to call(some old people cannot hear the phone), I went off to brighten this oldguy's day.When I rang the doorbell this "old guy" came to the door dressed intennis shorts and a polo shirt, looking about as ancient and decrepit asDonny Osmond. "I'm sorry I can't invite you in," he said when Iintroduced myself, "but I'm due at the Racquet Club at two. I'm playingin the semifinals today.""Oh that's all right," I said. "I baked you some cookies...""Great!" he interrupted, snatching the box. "Just what I need for bridgeclub tomorrow! Thanks so much!"I continued, "...and just thought we'd visit a while. But that's okay!I'll just trot across the street and call on Granny Grady.""Don't bother," he said. "Gran's not home; I know. I just called toremind her of our date to go dancing tonight. She may be at the beautyshop. She mentioned at breakfast (((at which house?!))) that she had anappointment for a tint job."So I went home and called my Mother's cousin (age 83); she was in thehospital ... working in the gift shop. I called my aunt (age 74)... shewas on vacation in China. I called my husband's uncle (age 79); Iforgot ... he was on his honeymoon. .... I still dread old age, now more than ever. I just don't think I'mup to it.-- Author Unknown