God's diet... (from my email files)

[Guest guest]

From my email files:

 

God's diet

 

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach

and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would

live long and

healthy lives.

 

And Satan created McDonald's.

 

And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger.

 

And Satan said to Man, " You want fries with that? "

 

And Man said, " Super size them. " And Man gained pounds.

 

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure

that man found so fair.

 

And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate syrup, nuts

and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And man and

woman gained

 

And God said, " Try my crispy fresh salad. "

 

And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded

cheese. And there was ice cream for dessert. And woman gained pounds.

 

And God said, " I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil

with which to cook them. "

 

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from Cracker Barrel so big

it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds, and his bad

cholesterol went through the roof.

 

And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those

extra pounds.

 

And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not

have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained

pounds.

 

And God said, " You're running up the score, Devil. " And God brought

forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with

nutrition.

 

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center

into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also.

 

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled

in cholesterol.

 

And Satan saw and said, " It is good. " And Man went into cardiac arrest.

 

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

And Satan created HMOs!

 

Source: chibob44

 

This article can be view on-line at:

http://www.all-creatures.org/aip/nl-30jul2003-gods.html

 

end

[Guest guest]

LOL, that was great! Thanks for sharing!

 

}

 

On 04 Apr 2007 17:34:09 -0700, private <mailacc wrote:

>

> From my email files:

>

> God's diet

>

> And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach

> and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would

> live long and

> healthy lives.

>

> And Satan created McDonald's.

>

> And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger.

>

> And Satan said to Man, " You want fries with that? "

>

> And Man said, " Super size them. " And Man gained pounds.

>

> And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure

> that man found so fair.

>

> And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate syrup, nuts

> and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And man and

> woman gained

>

> And God said, " Try my crispy fresh salad. "

>

> And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded

> cheese. And there was ice cream for dessert. And woman gained pounds.

>

> And God said, " I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil

> with which to cook them. "

>

> And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from Cracker Barrel so big

> it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds, and his bad

> cholesterol went through the roof.

>

> And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those

> extra pounds.

>

> And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not

> have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained

> pounds.

>

> And God said, " You're running up the score, Devil. " And God brought

> forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with

> nutrition.

>

> And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center

> into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also.

>

> And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled

> in cholesterol.

>

> And Satan saw and said, " It is good. " And Man went into cardiac arrest.

>

> And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

> And Satan created HMOs!

>

> Source: chibob44

>

> This article can be view on-line at:

> http://www.all-creatures.org/aip/nl-30jul2003-gods.html

>

> end

>

>

>

--

" ...anyone who looks up to Paris Hilton should be beaten. If you look up to

someone who was given every advantage and still turned out a brainless,

semi-retarded, self-absorbed twit, then what kind of person are you anyhow? "