Guest guest Posted April 1, 2005 Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 There is a story about a father who became disturbed about the length of time his six year old son was taking to get home from school. The father decided he would make the trip to discover for himself how long it should take a small boy to cover the distance. The father settled on 20 minutes but his son was still taking an hour. Finally the father decided to make the trip with his son. After the trip, the father said, " The 20 minutes I thought reasonable was right, but I failed to consider such important things as a side trip to track down a trail of ants...or an educational stop to watch a man fix a flat...or the time it took to swing around a half dozen telephone poles...or how much time it took for a boy just to get acquainted with two stray dogs and brown cat. " In short, " said the father, " I had forgotten what it is really like to be six years old. " ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: Funny Book Titles: The French Chef - by Sue Flay Unemployed - by Anita Job Off to Market - by Tobias A. Pigg Inflammation, Please - by Arthur Itis Handel's Messiah - by Ollie Luyah Downpour! - by Wayne Dwops Cloning - by Ima Dubble Irish Flooring - by Lynn O'Leum Holmes Does it Again - by Scott Linyard Home Alone IV - by Eddie Buddyhome Neither a Borrower - by Nora Lender Bee The Scent of a Man - by Jim Nasium Animal Illnesses - by Ann Thrax French Overpopulation - by Francis Crowded House Construction - by Bill Jerome Home Lewis Carroll - by Alison Wonderland Leo Tolstoy - by Warren Peace The L. A. Lakers Breakfast - by Kareem O' Wheat Why Cars Stop - by M. T. Tank Wind in the Willows - by Russell Ingleaves Look Younger - by Fay Slift Mountain Climbing - by Andover Hand It's Springtime! - by Theresa Green No! - by Kurt Reply *** " Race Horses " Several racehorses are in a stable. One on them starts boasting about his track record. " Of my last 15 races, " he says, " I've won eight. " Another horse breaks in, " Well I've won 19 of my last 27! " " That's good, but I've taken 28 of 36, " says another, flicking his tail. At this point, a greyhound who's been sitting nearby listening says, " I don't mean to boast, but of my last 90 races, I've won 88. " The horses are clearly amazed. " WOW, " says one horse after a prolonged silence, " a talking dog! " ======================== " Diary Of A Woman On Her 1st Cruise " Dear Diary: MONDAY: I felt singularly honored this evening as the Captain asked me to dine at his table. TUESDAY: I spent the entire afternoon on the bridge with the Captain. He is so charming WEDNESDAY: The Captain made several proposals to me unbecoming an officer and a gentleman. THURSDAY: Tonight the Captain threatened to sink the ship if I do not give in to his indecent proposals! FRIDAY: This afternoon I saved 1600 lives... twice!!! *** COMMUTING This is a transcript between a commuter and the railroad company, regarding services of the latter. " Gentlemen: I have been riding trains daily for the last twenty-two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think your transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago. Yours truly, A Commuter " The Reply to the above: " Dear Sir: We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot. Sincerely, Western Railways " And the Counter-Reply was: " Gentlemen: I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible, Book of David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town 'seated' on his donkey... That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last twenty-two years! Yours truly, A Long 'Standing' Commuter " *** THE END IS NEAR A priest and pastor from the local parishes were standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that read, " The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late! " They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. As the first driver sped past, he yelled, " Leave us alone you religious nuts! " From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. One clergyman said to the other, " Do you think we should just put up a sign that says, 'Bridge Out' instead? " http://www.blueaction.org " Better to have one freedom too many than to have one freedom too few. " http://babyseals.care2.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.