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" WC Douglass " <realhealth

 

 

Daily Dose - Pet Projects

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 06:59:00 -0500

Daily Dose

 

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March 29, 2005

 

 

Making Fido fetch(ing)

 

Do you think basset hounds say to themselves: " Ugh, look at these

wrinkles! "

 

Do greyhounds worry about losing their trim waistlines over time?

 

When you call " Spot! " out loud, does he run to you - or run to the

mirror to look at himself, thinking: " My goodness, where?!? "

 

Apparently, a growing number of people think this is what their pets

are thinking. According to a recent MSNBC piece, an increasing number

of wealthy Americans (especially Californians - big surprise) are

forcing their pets - mostly dogs - under the knife for procedures like

facelifts, tummy tucks, nose jobs and other cosmetic surgeries.

 

Although the article represents the first time I've ever heard of this

sort of thing, cosmetic procedures on pets aren't performed

exclusively in the Golden State, I'd bet the farm that most of them

are. After all, the number of fake (sorry, enhanced) lips, hairlines,

noses, chins, tummies, butts and boobs per capita among PEOPLE in

California exceeds every other place on Earth...

 

But I digress. Back to the topic at hand.

 

Proponents of cosmetic surgery for pets insist there are medical

reasons behind many such scalpel-ings - citing skin-fold infections in

certain breeds (bulldogs, for example), which can warrant surgical

attention after topical antibiotics fail. Similarly, excessive

drooling among mastiffs and bloodhounds can result in chronic mouth

infections, kidney, liver, and heart issues.

 

However it's hard to buy the medical necessity of some of these

procedures, including - get ready - testicular implants!

 

Yep, you read that right: Owners are now able to give pets back their

" family jewels " during the course of routine neutering (or up to 5

years afterward). A silicone implant called a Neuticle is available

that can restore Rover's manly assets. Since 1995, nearly 150,000

pairs have been fitted worldwide. According to the manufacturer,

Neuticle buyers swear their pets have more dog-park swagger and higher

self-esteem than other canines. But I have trouble buying this, since

it's testosterone, not testicles, that make a mammal masculine - and

most all of that goes out the window after neutering.

 

Bottom line: Unless your pet's got a real, medical problem that

warrants surgery of a coincidentally cosmetic nature, leave it alone

to age gracefully. I've never once seen a dog, cat, ferret, parrot, or

any other critter staring intently into a mirror, pondering its facial

wrinkles, sucking in its gut, or turning around to check out a sagging

rump...

 

 

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Copycat company running out of lives?

 

Last year (Daily Dose, 5/18/2004), I wrote to you about a company

called Genetic Savings and Clone that offered genetically identical

clones of dead pets - for a mere $50,000!

 

Well, back in December, the company revealed that it had successfully

delivered its first sale, a cat named Little Nicky, to a client in

Texas. According to the company, at least 4 more " copycats " are on the

way (apparently dogs are more challenging to duplicate)...

 

But according to a recent CNN.com article, the California-based (where

else, right?) company is facing heat from state legislators bent on

protecting grieving pet owners from being fleeced - and protecting the

environment from the unknown effects of unregulated cloning

technologies. Back in February, a bill was introduced in the state's

legislature banning the sale of any cloned pets. It's too early to

tell whether the measure is expected to pass or not.

 

I kind of hope it does, though. For one thing, pets are unique, just

like we are, formed by both genetics and their environment and

experiences. Even if you could exactly duplicate one physically, it

would never be the same pet. Genetic Savings and Clone is selling a

false hope at an exorbitant price.

 

But most importantly, there are hundreds of thousands, if not

millions, of perfectly good, loving pets in animal shelters, pet

stores, and breeder's kennels across the country that need good homes.

Buying a carbon copy of a dead pet at any price does nothing but deny

one of these animals a happy life - or worse yet, serve a death

warrant on a hapless victim of circumstance.

 

Always " fetching " the truth - no matter how ugly,

 

William Campbell Douglass II, MD

 

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