Comics of the Past

[Guest guest]

Fw: Comics of the Past

 

 

 

 

 

If you remember these comics from the past and when they would get

together on shows like the original Hollywood Squares (not such a

great show but had great people). These great questions and answers

are from days when " Hollywood Squares " game show responses were

spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now.

Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

 

 

 

 

Please note: A lot of these people answering the questions are now no

longer with us!

 

Q. Do female frogs croak?

 

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

 

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should

you be?

 

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

 

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

 

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

 

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man

or a woman?

 

A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

 

Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think

that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?

 

A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

 

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

 

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

 

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say " I Love You " ?

 

A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

 

Q. What are " Do It, " " I Can Help, " and " I Can't Get Enough " ?

 

A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

 

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your

hands while talking?

 

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and

I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

 

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

 

A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

 

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to

get any during the first year?

 

A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

 

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

 

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

 

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist

camps. One is politics, what is the other?

 

A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

 

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a

goose do?

 

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

 

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

 

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

 

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into

the habit of kissing a lot of people?

 

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

 

Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting " Poo! Poo!

Poo! " What does this mean?

 

A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.

 

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his

head, what was he trying to do?

 

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

 

 

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

 

A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

 

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them

and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

 

A. Charley Weaver: His feet

 

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do

in bed?

 

A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh

 

 

 

Does anyone else miss Gilda Radner's character 'Rosanna Rosanadana'?