Washington Post's Style Invitational

[Guest guest]

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to

take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or

changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's

winners:

 

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops

bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows

little sign of breaking down in the near future.

 

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose

of getting laid.

 

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the

subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

 

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

 

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the

person who doesn't get it.

 

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running

late.

 

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

 

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

 

9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these

really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's

like, a serious bummer.

 

10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day

consuming only things that are good for you.

 

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

 

12 Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter

when they come at you rapidly.

 

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after

you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

 

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into

your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

 

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in

thefruit you're eating.

 

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.