Billionaires for Bush Plan to Auction Social Security at Inauguration, Jan 20

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Sat, 15 Jan 2005 17:26:43 -0800 (PST)

 

 

Billionaires for Bush Plan to Auction Social Security at

Inauguration, Jan. 20,

 

 

 

Billionaires for Bush Plan to Auction Social Security at Inauguration

 

Plutocrats Launch Comprehensive Legislative Champaign

 

 

Washington, D.C. January 12, 2005 — Billionaires for Bush (B4B),

activists for the corporate elite, today announced their festive

program to celebrate the enthronement of their money's electoral

victory on January 20th, Their inaugural program will kick off several

multiyear legislative campaigns, or " champaigns " to help them realize

above-market returns on their presidential investment.

 

First on the bill, the Billionaires will cash in on the Social

Security gravy train, by holding an auction of Social Security on the

grounds of the FDR Memorial in Washington, D.C. at 10:30 AM while Bush

is making his way to the Capitol for his inaugural speech.

 

" Corporatizing Social Security Accounts will fatten wealthy brokers'

wallets for generations to come " noted Cassius King, the Billionaires

for Bush Minister of Theoretical Finance. The wags at the Securities

Industry Association point out that Bush's corporatization plan will

give " a paltry " $39 billion to securities firms over the next 75

years. Another Billionaire, Alan Greenspend put the giveaway in

context: " $39 billion is only 100 times the $350 aid package for

tsunami victims promised by the Bush administration. Bear in mind that

Indonesian tsunami victims hardly gave any money at all to the Bush

2004 campaign. This is our due, if not more. " The Securities Industry

Association points out that if Bush's Social Security corporatization

plan were " reformed " even more, brokerage firms in their industry

could realize at least $279 billion over the same time period.[NOTE 1]

 

Though the jokesters at the SIA refer to the $39 billion as forming

only " a paltry 1.2% " of the entire revenue of the financial sector,

they do not talk about the larger figure being 8.5%. " I bust a gut

when I read that report, " purred Iona Bigga Yacht, Billionaire

National Field Coordinator, " People in the SIA know that the industry

relies on fees of .025 percent up to .1 percent, so " paltry " beside

1.2% was a delicious give-away to the whole joke! " Mr. King agreed,

" If $39 billion sounds paltry, consider that it is more than a

100,000% return on the $36 million our industry invested in electing

this guy. Yes, that's a percent with five zeros and no decimal point

in it. " [NOTE 2]

 

The Billionaire auction will be at the FDR Memorial on the Tidal

Basin, a tribute to the president who legislated Social Security

against the protests of the extremely wealthy. " I relish the thought

of that do-gooder cripple trying to turn in his grave without a

nurse's aide, " said wizened Billionaire for Bush founder and CEO

Emeritus, Phil T. Rich. Mr. Rich continued " When Roosevelt ushered in

Social Security with his so-called `New Deal' we fought it like

wildcats. Now Bush's `Raw Deal' shows us that Social Security can be a

very remunerative cash cow for the wealthiest. If only we had back

then the cynical opportunism that younger Billionaires have today. "

 

Sporting tuxedoes, furs, and great coats, the Billionaires will carry

out the auction behind a huge backdrop declaring " Cashing out Your

Children's Future…Today! " and " Taking from Main Street, Giving to Wall

Street! " " Social Security Corporatization is not just about stealing

from the elderly, " said Billionaire Executive Co-Chair Monet Oliver

D'Place, " because about 30% of the beneficiaries are orphans, widows,

and the disabled. " [NOTE 3] Ms. Yacht demurred philosophically about

whether the Billionaires were stealing from the orphans too, " How can

you steal something if you already stole it before? A decade ago Alan

Greenspan and we Billionaires got working people to pay in more of

their paycheck to Social Security, and then Bush gave all that money

to us Billionaires in the form of tax cuts. Now—big surprise—there's

no money in the fund, the horse is gone, and his answer is to give us

the stable. "

 

In addition to Social Security, the Billionaires plan to auction off

on the same stage the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve as part of

their comprehensive Energy Plan, " Drain America First! " " If the oil

industry's estimates are correct, " noted Billionaire Co-Chair Meg A.

Bucks, " the ANWR has enough reserves—if extracted at great expense and

difficulty—to supply the United States for two whole years! My Hummer

trumps your tundra! " Energy company executives, flush from the $34

billion of giveaways in the 2002 Bush (Cheney) energy plan, are

expected to bid with more than their wonted irrational exuberance.

[NOTE 4]

 

Part of the proceeds from the auction will be used to finance the

Billionaires' Re-Coronation Inaugural Ball, a lavish affair held in

the exclusive grounds of a former bank, Platinum Nightclub. Details

about the ball are available at:

http://www.billionairesforbush.com/dc/ball.htm

 

Details about the auction and other Billionaire inaugural events are

available at :

http://www.billionairesforbush.com/dc/inaugural.htm