Notice: Sick Humor.

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Diagnostic Computer at WalMart

 

 

 

WAL-MART - THE STORE THAT HAS EVERYTHING

 

 

 

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says

to Mike behind him, " My elbow hurts like hell. I guess

I better see a doctor. "

 

" Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of

money, " Mike replies. " There's a diagnostic computer

down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the

computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do

about it.

 

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot

cheaper than a doctor. "

 

So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and

takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and

the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.

 

 

 

He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten

seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

 

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in! warm water

and avoid heavy activity.

It will improve in two weeks.

 

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.

 

That evening while thinking how amazing this new

technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer

could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool

sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and

daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

 

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the

results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction,

and awaits the results. The computer

prints the following:

 

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

(Aisle 9)

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal

shampoo. (Aisle 7)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into

rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your

elbow will never get better.

 

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart