GOP Convention Schedule

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> Sat, 28 Aug 2004 19:25:06 -0700 (PDT)

> Fwd: GOP Convention Schedule

>

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> :

> Republican National Convention Schedule

> New York, NY

 

> 6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Rev. Jerry

> Falwell

> 6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

> 6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd

> amendment)

> 6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

> 6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military

> deferment

> 7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

> 7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries

> 7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for

> dinner

> 8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

> 8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

> 8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after

> your children

> 8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights

> (MEN only)

> 8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: the government of

> the future

> 9:00 PM Condi Rice sings " I Can't Help Lovin' Dat

> Man "

> 9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

> 9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of

> forest fires

> 9:30 PM Break for secret meetings

> 10:00 PM Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas

> 10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy

> 10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration: How to squint and

> talk macho

> 10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark

> deer-in-headlights stare

> 10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory

> Kevlar chastity belt

> 10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black

> Republicans

> 10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

> 10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: a drain on our

> nation's economy

> 11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata

> 11:20 PM Second John Ashcroft Lecture:

> Evolutionists: the dangerous new cult

> 11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again

> 11:35 PM Blame Clinton

> 11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies

> 11:50 PM Closing Prayer, led by Jesus Himself

> 12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy

> Supreme Planetary Overlord

>