Tough sledding

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http://www.workingforchange.com/article.cfm?itemid=17441

 

Tough sledding

 

Molly Ivins - Creators Syndicate

 

08.10.04 - KANANASKIS, Alberta -- Make that a big

Canadian, " Oh dear. " These nice Canadians, whom George

W. Bush once managed to triumphantly identify as " our

most important neighbors to the north " are famous for

their reticence. Canada, Land of the Understatement. I

once proposed their national motto should be: " Now,

Let's Not Get Excited. " Not that I would ever

generalize. I attribute their commendable phlegm to

being too cold to waste much energy, and also to

regular ingestion of oatmeal.

 

Nice, polite, calm, reserved, chock full of common

sense and living next to us -- what a fate. For them,

it's like having the Simpsons for next-door neighbors.

A few years ago, during the height of our national

meltdown over Monica Lewinsky, a host on the Canadian

Broadcasting Co.'s evening news program began an

interview by gingerly asking me, " So, having another

of your little psychodramas down there, eh? "

 

This year, the American psychodrama, eh, is the

election, and Canadians are taking unusual care, even

by their standards, to try to phrase their questions

delicately. " You couldn't possibly... " they begin,

only to break off. " Are you not aware of what... "

" Surely you realize how... " But they can think of no

polite way of asking if we are such freaking idiots we

haven't noticed the damage that has been done by the

Bush administration to the American reputation all

over the world.

 

One tries to explain that, " Who cares what the rest of

the world thinks? " is a common American reaction,

leaving the poor Canadians to quietly mutter, " Oh

dear. "

 

Just FYI, of the many allies the Bush White House

managed to gratuitously insult on the run-up to the

invasion of Iraq, we miffed the Canadians by blowing

off their last-minute attempt to work out a deal for

continued inspections under a strict timeframe -- we

not only blew it off, we went to the trouble of being

rude and arrogant about it. Among its other unpleasant

traits, bad manners rank quite high on this

administration's list of failings. In addition, some

right-wingers weighed in with juvenile taunts along

the intellectually brilliant lines of

" nyah-nyah-nyah. "

 

The National Review published a cover story headlined

" Wimps! " Bill O'Reilly of Fox News got all huffy over

something a Toronto columnist wrote and decided to

appoint himself our national spokesman. Diplomacy is

not O'Reilly's forte (he called Canadians " dishonest

pinheads " ).

 

Of the many stupid things our country has done lately,

alienating the best neighbor any country ever had

ranks fairly high on the All Time Stupid list. So I

have been at some pains to try to answer the

ever-so-delicately phrased questions: Are you people

actually going to re-elect that nincompoop? (I doubt a

Canadian would ever actually ask an American that

question -- this is free interpretation on my part.)

 

What makes the delicacy even more interesting is that

Alberta is the province of Canada most like West Texas

and the American Mountain states. Lot of ranchers,

oil-and-gas men, conservative if not right-wing, a big

anti-environmental movement -- just like home. Same

deal -- timber industry, mining, all the extractive

industries and hunters all lined up against

environmentalists, who are outmanned and outgunned but

perceived to have the federal government on their

side.

 

You can find Albertans who think John Kerry would ruin

the U.S. economy because they are under the impression

that Democrats are all deficit spenders. When our

economy catches cold, theirs gets pneumonia, so this

is a source of real concern here. Pointing out that

Bush is already doing trillions in deficit spending,

and that he came into office with a huge surplus,

draws sad agreement.

 

What is most striking to me every time I visit this

country is how much more Canadians know about the

United States and the rest of the world than many

Americans do. Because they are generally less

provincial than we are and certainly pay more

attention to world news, they are acutely aware of how

much the Bush administration has increased

anti-Americanism around the globe. That's why so many

of them are stupefied at the idea he might be

re-elected -- they perceive him as having done great

harm to his own country.

 

So, here I am trying to explain these politely

astonished people how Americans could vote for George

W. Bush. Some days are much tougher sledding than

others.

 

© 2004 Creators Syndicate