RE: Fw: Our Tax Dollars at Work

[Guest guest]

Hi Don,

 

This is true. Go to http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/dammed.htm for

more info. I love this story!

 

-Jo

 

 

Wed, 30 Jul 2003 22:01:47 +0200

" Don Quai " <mysticalherbalist

Fw: Our Tax Dollars at Work

 

Not sure how factual this is, but thought it would elicit some chuckles

from

within!

 

Our tax dollars at work...

 

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the

Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. This

guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get

to the response letter.

 

SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023;

T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County

 

Dear Mr. DeVries:

 

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality

that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced

parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner

and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

 

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet

stream of Spring Pond.

 

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A

review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued.

Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in

violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource

and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994,

being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws,

annotated.

 

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially

failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at

downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently

hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you

to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the

stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming

the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be

completed no later than January 31, 2003.

 

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so

that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure

to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the

site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement

action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this

matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any

questions.

 

Sincerely,

 

David L. Price

District Representative

Land and Water Management Division

 

 

This is the actual response sent back:

Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N;

R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.

 

Dear Mr. Price,

 

Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond

to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget,

Pierson, Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized)

process of constructing and maintaining two wood " debris " dams across

the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize,

nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended

that you call their skillful use of natures building materials " debris. "

I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their

dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely

state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam

resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam

determination and/or their dam work ethic. As to your request, I do not

think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit

prior to the start of this type of dam activity.

 

My first dam question to you is:

 

(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or

(2) Do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said

dam request?

 

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through

the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those

other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we

will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes

and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act,

Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to

324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

 

I have several concerns:

 

My first concern is...aren't the beavers entitled to legal

representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and

are unable to pay for said representation, so the State will have to

provide them with a dam lawyer.

 

The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed

during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that this is a

natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In

other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than

harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the stream

" restored " to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers, but

if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any

attention to your dam letter... they being unable to read English.

 

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build

their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green

and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live

and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and

Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the

natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).

 

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be

referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until

1/31/2003? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and

there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them

then.

 

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real

environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears!

Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you

should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone.

If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The

bears are not careful where they dump!) Being unable to comply with your

dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering

machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

 

Thank You,

Ryan DeVries & The Dam Beavers

 

 

_____

 

 

This email communication may contain CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION WHICH ALSO

MAY BE LEGALLY PRIVILEGED and is intended only for the use of the

intended recipients identified above. If you are not the intended

recipient of this communication, you are hereby notified that any

unauthorized review, use, dissemination, distribution, downloading, or

copying of this communication is strictly prohibited. If you are not the

intended recipient and have received this communication in error, please

immediately notify us by reply email, delete the communication and

destroy all copies.

 

 

GORDON & REES, LLP

 

http://www.gordonrees.com <http://www.gordonrees.com/>