Fwd: Rules of Life

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RULES OF LIFE

 

Sometimes we need to remember WHAT the Rules of Life really are.

 

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three alcoholic beverages of any kind.

 

2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it

should, use the WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.

 

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are " I

apologize " and " You are right. "

 

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

 

5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow

while it's still warm.

 

6. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was: " Go! You

might meet somebody! "

 

7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.

 

8. Learn to pick your battles. Ask yourself, " Will this matter one year from

now? How about one month? One week? One day? "

 

9. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

 

10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

 

11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad

or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about

you.

 

12. Work is good, but it's not that important.

 

13. And finally; Be really nice to your friends and family. You never know when

you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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