The next part of my personal story with bipolar - From: roadlessgraveled

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P.S.- Please keep up the writing. It is great.Frank )

 

" roadlessgraveled " <roadlessgraveled

 

(This is the next installment of my story of dealing with my bipolar

disorder, after years of " conventional " drug treatment. I've posted

this whole story on several bipolar/depression specific

forums...which are not as open to alternative approaches as this

forum obviously is, so please keep in mind while reading, that my

approach is intended to reach those who are resistant to

unconventional approaches. In this forum, I'm preaching to the

converted!)

 

Never, no never, does Nature say one thing and wisdom another.

(Johann Christolph Frederick von Schuller)

 

I was still on Depakote and Paxil. I was 25 pounds overweight, tired,

dull, angry a lot, and not sleeping well. I thought it would be best

to stay on the drugs, and change my diet first. My intention was to

eat something more like an " original " diet, instead of the " new

improved " diet I was on.

What I found was that this was very difficult to do.

Grain fed meat, poultry and eggs don't have the Omega-3 that grass

fed or " free-range " meat and eggs do. But grass fed beef is about $8

per pound! Fish has this essential oil, especially salmon, but the

stores don't have to label it as farm raised, or " wild " . Farmed fish

has virtually no Omega-3. There is also problems with big ocean fish

having high levels of mercury and other fun stuff, so that's probably

isn't a great idea, either. The partially hydrogenated fats that

compete with the " good fats " are in everything, it seems. This stuff

is terrible for us...I can't find any redeeming quality for the

consumer, only the food producer. I made an effort to reduce sugar.

We eat over 10 times more sugar now than we did for most of our

history on Earth, and that's in everything, too. A typical can of

soda, at 10 teaspoons of sugar, should be relabeled " liquid candy " .

It's not just bad because of the sheer empty calories in it...but it

does nasty things to your blood sugar and insulin balance, ending in

low blood sugar and your adrenals pumping out adrenaline to

counteract it. I got rid of the shortening, margarine and vegetable

oils, and replaced them with butter, olive and canola oils. (By the

way...the " Mediterranean Diet " is a pretty good place to start.

Besides...the food is real good)

 

I did the best I could, learning as I went along. Grocery shopping

took longer, and required my bifocals.

I soon realized that the only way I might ensure I was getting all

the trace nutrients that the " old " diet had was to supplement it.

We eat 1/20th the vitamin C that we used to, so I started vitamin C.

Humans, some primates and guinea pigs all have to eat their Vitamin

C, because we can't make it in our bodies, like all other animals

can. The amount of vitamin C found in the tissues of animals is

virtually the same regardless of the animal, including those who have

to eat it. Why should humans be different? B vitamins came up over

and over again as being very important, so I added a b-complex, a

multivitamin and multimineral. I got the Omega-3 from fish oil

capsules. This oil comes from a small sardine like fish that is

caught off the coast of Chile, so it doesn't have the concentrated

mercury and other pollutants in it.

Within a week, I noticed I was sleeping better. Sleep has always been

my best early warning of mania and depression. The amount of sleep I

was getting didn't change too much, but I slept better. It was a

small improvement, but enough to give me a little encouragement. I

know that the " placebo " effect is fairly strong in me. I really

wanted something to work, so maybe it was just wishful thinking. I

don't think so, though. The improvement continued, slow but steady. I

still had days of terrible depression and fatigue.

One of the worst things about bipolar is that it's a moving target.

You can try a treatment, and depending on where you are in a cycle,

the treatment might work, might not. You can feel better without

making any changes, or worse, just depending on the cycle. If it

would just sit still, it would be easier to deal with!

I geared up for stopping the drugs. I'd gone through Paxil withdrawal

before, and was really afraid of doing it again. The withdrawal

effects for me included hearing things, nausea, dizziness, and the

worst is a really strange electrical shock feeling that zaps through

you. You turn your head, and it's like getting a shock that goes

through your head and down your spine. Some people hear " swooshing "

kinds of sounds. I heard ducks quacking. The first time I went

through this, I kept looking up, trying to see the ducks. When the

ducks followed me inside, I knew something funny was going on.

I knew that Paxil worked on the serotonin absorption mechanism, but

couldn't find much info on what happens when you stop taking it. At

the time, the makers of Paxil were denying there was any problem. I

found a website about it, and they suggested switching to a liquid

version, so it was easier to cut down the dose, and that Dramamine

(motion sickness med) helped some people.

I wanted to go off the Paxil first. I'd been driven into mania

before when I was on it without the Depakote, and I wasn't looking

for a repeat performance. I looked for something that would act like

an antidepressant, but did it by helping make more serotonin, instead

of plugging up the serotonin drains. I obtained L-Tyroptophan for

this. I'd read about possible problems with the 5HTP Tryptophan,

especially for bipolars, because this form of Trypto skips around the

natural path that L-tryptophan takes, and can produce too much

serotonin in the body. The idea of going around the natural pathway

seemed contrary to " giving my body the raw materials, and letting it

figure out what to make of it " . It isn't nice to fool Mother Nature?

Depakote appears to increase the available " gamma-aminobutyric acid "

(GABA) in the brain. Many anti-anxiety drugs work on GABA, too. GABA

is made in the body, from glutamate. In a healthy body, all the GABA

needed should be automatically produced, but apparently something

funny is going on in cases of bipolar or anxiety. I figured I'd just

see if this took care of itself when I " tuned up " my body. I got some

plain GABA, just in case. It can be taken directly, and there isn't

any known serious side effects, but again...taking it would

be " skipping " the bodies natural pathway, so I held off on taking any.

I wanted to see what kind of change the diet would make, first.

I stayed on my " new old " diet for a month. There was no doubt that I

was feeling better, more often. The irritability lessened, sleep got

better and I had more energy. When you are used to taking some drug,

and having things happen fast, the slow pace of this kind of

treatment demands patience. But I'd fought this illness for 35 years,

and had plenty of practice with patience.

At the end of the month, I started tapering off the Paxil, and cut

the Depakote in half.

Thanks for reading this far. I have received some most wonderful

encouragement to continue and I thank you for that.

I think I'll title the next installment " Performing without a net " ,

or maybe " Kids! Don't try this at home " !

My best to you all,

Dan