Holiday Eating Tips: a funny for you!!

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Holiday Eating Tips1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffettable knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you seecarrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rumballs or chocolate cake2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You can'tfind it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares thatit has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going toturn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Haveone for me. Have two. It's Christmas!3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point ofgravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out ofyour mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milkor whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying asports car with an automatic transmission.5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort tocontrol your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party isto eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and NewYear's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling thebuffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat ofeggnog.7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, likefrosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, positionyourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can beforebecoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair ofshoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see themagain.8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each.Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin.Always have three. When else do you get to have more than onedessert? Labor Day?9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with themandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean,have some standards.