Help Needed In Working With A Dis-ease

[Guest guest]

At 05:10 PM 07/16/2005, you wrote:

>this sounds like his issue/problem/situation. As such, he needs to be

>ready and willing for healing in order for any changes to occur.

 

Aye! That it is. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink!

 

>It sounds as if you are more motivated in this than he is, which is still

>perfect.

 

This motivation may be exhibited by bringing suggestions of organizations

and/or counseling which is available in many forms; however, you do not

want to become an 'Enabler.' Read the book " Co-Dependent no more " by a lady

named Beatty.

 

There is 'Emotions Anonymous' available, and 'Anger Control' help available

through your local Behavioral Health Services. If he doesn't care to help

himself.... YOU go and help YOURSELF.

 

>You need to let go of the situation in order for changes to happen --

 

This is called 'Detaching with Love!' Your hand is still out to help, but

only if he reaches for it.

 

>So, I won't be sending healing energy.

 

Certainly a beautiful Spiritual stance to take!

At least I now know who is Judge, Jury, and Executioner!

..................................

 

An awful lot of *I*s in the rest of that information, which I have no doubt

are very good Stone Spirits Guidance.

 

> Again, use what you like and throw away the rest.

 

Being mindful of the preponderance of *I*s which can mean EGO, otherwise

known as 'Easing God Out'

 

>I wish you the best of luck in this path you have chosen.

>Love, Light and Blessings to us all, Diana Endresen

 

Except for those chosen few..........

 

Peace and Love,

Byron

Who is willing to send Healing Reiki Energy to the Situation WITHOUT judgment.

[Guest guest]

Hey Byron,

Great posting.

Life is Good! One is also working on forgiving oneself.

The healing process surrounds us all, in one's observation.

Observation, Discernment, Judgment, who can tell the difference?

Love, Light and Blessings to us all, Diana Endresen

[Guest guest]

, Byron

<byronksc@m...> wrote:

> At 05:10 PM 07/16/2005, you wrote:

> >this sounds like his issue/problem/situation. As such, he needs

to be

> >ready and willing for healing in order for any changes to occur.

>

> Aye! That it is. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make

him drink.

 

I am trying to understand this exchange and consider the ethics

involved here. Diana here appears to be pointing out that the loved

one's past is HIS past and that HE must own the healing. Byron, you

seem to affirm this stance. I, too, see the risks of enabling and

of codependency.

 

> >So, I won't be sending healing energy.

>

> Certainly a beautiful Spiritual stance to take!

> At least I now know who is Judge, Jury, and Executioner!

 

I completely understand Diana's response. In a case where healing

energy is not desired, sending it is manipulative and can even be

abusive, for it can be an attempt to make the other person change to

suit our own wishes regarding them. Consider the pious prayers of

many who condemn others as they are and beg God to change them. Or

those who pray that a situation does not go as is best for the

other, but as they themselves wish it to be, even if that is selfish

(like high school sweethearts hoping their lovers don't get accepted

to colleges far away). When we send healing light/energy to those

who do not want it we are not even asking or leaving it up to Spirit

(who is wiser than we are and disregards foolish and abusive

prayers), but are taking on the role of God ourselves.

 

Yet there are nuances. We can OFFER healing energy to another, so

long as it is not our intention to coerce them, to force it upon

them, to override whatever it is we disagree with in the other

person. In offering, we leave it up to a higher power to decide

what to do with what we offer--up to the person's own soul, or their

personal higher power, or to their guides, angels, totems, etc, or

up to the Divine itself. This love and healing energy freely

offered is not bound up with specific intentions. The moment we

begin to dictate what the healing should be like, then it is no

longer a gift. The same is true of prayers. We can support another

in what they ask of the universe; if we begin to tell God how to

change the person according to our OWN wishes, then that prayer

becomes merely an exercise in ego.

 

It was a blow to my spirit, Byron, to see someone respond to Diana's

remarks with sarcasm. And can you not see that naming her Judge,

Jury, and Executioner is pretty judgemental on your part? To me, it

is less judgemental to just let someone be--all in Divine order--

than to send intentions that are, in fact, based on a second party's

conclusions about the situation. How often people come to me (their

pastor) asking that I pray for someone else to be less stubborn,

less lazy, more ambitious, more amorous, etc., etc., etc. I

understand their despair, but what I pray for is that the one

speaking to me will have the strength, insight, wisdom, endurance,

etc. to cope with the disliked qualities of the other, and that the

situation will gently help them learn whatever lesson the universe

has in store. I pray this aloud with the one asking. Then I ask

them permission to work on their own energies, explaining that it is

unethical to work on someone else without their permission.

 

For example, I disagree with the views and method of expression you

have used here, Byron. But I wouldn't dream of sending you healing

energy without your permission or pray for God to " fix " your

attitude, because that would be disrespectful of your soul and of

the earthly dance God is doing with you in this lifetime. I would,

rather, ask God/ the spirits to help ME behold you and understand

you and learn from you. I would also use my words and dialog with

you, even, perhaps, challenge you.

>

 

> An awful lot of *I*s in the rest of that information, which I have

no doubt

> are very good Stone Spirits Guidance.

 

Again, a sarcastic response. The word sarcasm means flesh-biting.

It is not a healing choice. It hurts.

>

 

>

> Being mindful of the preponderance of *I*s which can mean EGO,

otherwise

> known as 'Easing God Out'

 

Or it can mean owning what one says and not ascribing it to others,

not projecting it upon others, not assuming to speak for another.

It can mean simple honesty and humility. A number of wisdom systems

recognize this truth: AA, parenting skills training, teacher

training, family systems theory, clergy training. etc. (I-

statements take some getting used to, though.)

 

>

> >I wish you the best of luck in this path you have chosen.

> >Love, Light and Blessings to us all, Diana Endresen

>

> Except for those chosen few..........

>

 

More flesh-biting.

 

 

> Peace and Love,

> Byron

 

Do you mean this peace and love, truly? I get the feeling that you

generally do, though it does not show here.

 

 

> Who is willing to send Healing Reiki Energy to the Situation

WITHOUT judgment.

 

You have used the word judgement where it seems likely you really

meant judgementalism. Your method of communication has indeed been

without judgement--at least without good judgement. And there HAS

been judgementalism--both toward Diana and toward the person

being " helped. " Yet I do not claim to know your heart. I can only

evaluate your words. What I have said here is an evaluation of the

words you have chosen to use, not of your spirit. The words you have

chosen are close to flaming.

 

I am still new to this group, having been here only a few weeks. I

hope that sniping is not typical of the conversations that go on

here. I would really love to have a thoughtful discussion of the

ehtics of healing. It's a complex topic. A variety of opinions

have been expressed in several postings. My own opinion is that one

must be very pure, very careful in offering only love and light

(i.e., energy-potential)to those who do not ask specifically for

support of their own intentions for themselves. If I am having

difficulty in keeping pure, open intentions for another, then I

don't pray for them or send them healing energy. Instead I ask the

divine to first work on me and clear me out to be a cleaner vessel.

Then I ask only for the highest good (which, of course, the universe

is already providing, anyway). Someone else posted something

insightful about life's lessons: if we set intentions that deprive

others of their learning experiences at their own speed, then what

good are we doing? It is only when people are ready to learn, to

grow, to change, to heal, etc, that we can be helpful as

facilitators.

 

I submit these words for the evaluation of others. I hope they ring

true and are useful to someone. I look forward to hearing

responses. I often wrestle with what is ethical in certain

circumstances, too. I often wish to change others because what they

are doing, in my observation, is clearly hurtful to themselves or

somebody else (including groups or the earth herself). But then

Spirit points out to me that all life is a learning project, and my

own learning is not to interfere, not to judge that another " needs "

my help, not to see my own ways as superior. How about the rest of

you Healers?

Sincerely,

Bridgeweaver