Simplicity/Noelle

January 3, 2007

Too funny about your first husband, and I can definitely see why

homesteading would not be appealing to him! We always want what we

did not have, which is in part one of the reasons I got caught up

in " affluenza " as I grew up. I never had high aspirations myself,

but one of my sister's shame at our blue-collar-lower-middle-class-

Midwestern background rubbed off on me. I felt I needed to rise

above it myself, so I spent half of my life trying to be someone I

wasn't at heart. I was 40 years old before I even began to realize

that I was a simple girl at heart...but better late then never!

Noelle, I appreciate and admire your description of simplicity. It

means something different to us all, but I think finding our own

simplicity brings us peace of mind and kindness of heart.

Peace and Love to You!

--Celia--

-

Pandora

RealSimple

Monday, January 01, 2007 6:48 PM

Re: {Spam?} (6) [RealSimple] Recipe for Simplicity

Cee,

I understand your desire for homesteading and admire Ellen's

commitment to it. When I was living in Alaska I tried to talk my

young husband into this and he laughed! He had grown up in SE Texas

and while I was living a very comfortable life in small town

California, he and his siblings were a cross between Little House on

the Prairie and the Waltons, African-American style. He still says

he wouldn't change a thing about his childhood, but that homesteading

was anything but simple. His family lived this lifestyle out of

necessity and familiarity. For them it was simple as it was how his

parents and older relatives had grown up and freed the women to stay

home and raise their children if they chose to, but they also did

without a lot of personal possessions, which no one seemed to mind.

Now that these children are grown and parents themselves (some even

grandparents and great grandparents) they can't imagine living

that 'simple' lifestyle, but they all agree they loved growing up

that way. I find it interesting that my sister-in-laws who were

close in age and had to share clothes, all grew up to be clothes

hounds, while those sisters who didn't have a sister close to their

age and size have much smaller wardrobes. Two lessons all eleven

siblings took away from growing up in that lifestyle and are passing

down to their children are NOT using credit, other than to buy a

house, and to appreciate every little thing you have and take care of

it so it will last.

Simplicity for me means having as much free time as possible to do

what I WANT. I love living in the city because there are so many

resources that are free or affordable, and I love the cultural

diversity. I pay a lot more to live in this part of the country, but

I love being surrounded by natural beauty and living on the Pacific

Coast is my version of real beauty. Some day I will live within

sight, sound and smell of the ocean and would rather have a studio on

the beach than a mansion somewhere else. Of course, a studio on the

beach down here probably costs as much as a mansion....lol.

xoxoxo Noëlle

..

January 3, 2007

I've been thinking a lot about Noelle's words too, since yesterday.

We all know that "simplicity' means something different to all of us, but I think in all cases we define it as "peace of mind" or "breathing room." Where we live, how we live, what "stuff" we have gotten rid of-or have gotten!-all contribute to getting us to that mental "place" where we can breath easily.

In my case, I grew up with nothing, we were beyond poor, so my obsessive/compulsive impulse has always been to get anything "material" I felt I needed or wanted, to combat that old feeling of deprivation. It's taken me a long time to recognize it, let alone confront it, lol. If I could afford it, why not have it? So I thought. Now I realize that no amount of "medicating" myself is going to change that "Deprived Inner Child" feeling.

Now I want a different kind of "wealth." I want a home and a lifestyle that places a minimum amount of impact on the earth. I want fewer material possessions, and more free space. I want more free time. Less stress, and more time to reflect. I want to live in the country with my family and my pets and dig my hands in the earth every day. I want to grow my own fruits and veggies and play with my pets, lol. Words have POWER. Giving voice to what you want out of life starts you down the path, mentally, if nothing else.

And I TOTALLY agree about no debt. We are paying for our childrens college educations-they are paying part of it too- so they don't have to start life in debt. Kail and I paid off college debt for SEVEN years after we got married-insane! It's a terrible way to teach your children about how to handle money responsibly. Yes, it gets you thru college, which enables you to get a job, but what does it teach kids about debt? I have a hard enough time with my younger son, whom I can't get to save money, as it is. I keep feeling if i can get him to value working his way thru college and not acquiring debt along the way, that's the best I can do to prepare him for financial responsibility. That's my working theory anyway, lol. :-)

I love too, hearing about everyone's definition of simplicity! It inspires me so much!

Cyndi

In a message dated 1/3/2007 5:20:50 A.M. Pacific Standard Time, cbrowne writes:

Too funny about your first husband, and I can definitely see why homesteading would not be appealing to him! We always want what we did not have, which is in part one of the reasons I got caught up in "affluenza" as I grew up. I never had high aspirations myself, but one of my sister's shame at our blue-collar-lower-middle-class-Midwestern background rubbed off on me. I felt I needed to rise above it myself, so I spent half of my life trying to be someone I wasn't at heart. I was 40 years old before I even began to realize that I was a simple girl at heart...but better late then never!Noelle, I appreciate and admire your description of simplicity. It means something different to us all, but I think finding our own simplicity brings us peace of mind and kindness of heart. Peace and Love to You!--Celia--- Pandora RealSimple Monday, January 01, 2007 6:48 PMRe: {Spam?} (6) [RealSimple] Recipe for SimplicityCee,I understand your desire for homesteading and admire Ellen's commitment to it. When I was living in Alaska I tried to talk my young husband into this and he laughed! He had grown up in SE Texas and while I was living a very comfortable life in small town California, he and his siblings were a cross between Little House on the Prairie and the Waltons, African-American style. He still says he wouldn't change a thing about his childhood, but that homesteading was anything but simple. His family lived this lifestyle out of necessity and familiarity. For them it was simple as it was how his parents and older relatives had grown up and freed the women to stay home and raise their children if they chose to, but they also did without a lot of personal possessions, which no one seemed to mind. Now that these children are grown and parents themselves (some even grandparents and great grandparents) they can't imagine living that 'simple' lifestyle, but they all agree they loved growing up that way. I find it interesting that my sister-in-laws who were close in age and had to share clothes, all grew up to be clothes hounds, while those sisters who didn't have a sister close to their age and size have much smaller wardrobes. Two lessons all eleven siblings took away from growing up in that lifestyle and are passing down to their children are NOT using credit, other than to buy a house, and to appreciate every little thing you have and take care of it so it will last.Simplicity for me means having as much free time as possible to do what I WANT. I love living in the city because there are so many resources that are free or affordable, and I love the cultural diversity. I pay a lot more to live in this part of the country, but I love being surrounded by natural beauty and living on the Pacific Coast is my version of real beauty. Some day I will live within sight, sound and smell of the ocean and would rather have a studio on the beach than a mansion somewhere else. Of course, a studio on the beach down here probably costs as much as a mansion....lol.xoxoxo Noëlle.

January 3, 2007

Barbara, I LIKE knowing other sides of you. :-)But you are wrong, I DO find everyones viewpoint on simplicity motivating-you just can't see it in your own story because it sounds too ordinary to you. :-)It is definitely partly how you are raised-many children grow up with nothing, and don't miss anything they don't have. My husband is a good example of this. They didn't miss anything they didn't have. But his mom had a totally different view about money and possessions than mine had. Heredity does play into it too, I agree, because I've seen the exact opposite happen too. Well, at least I recognize what I must fix. :-)

Your common sense is ,as always, very welcome. :-)Cyndi

In a message dated 1/3/2007 2:20:45 P.M. Pacific Standard Time, barbara3 writes:

I've been thinking a lot about Noelle's words too, since yesterday.

Cyndi, you are forcing me to think!?!? Horrors!

In my case, I grew up with nothing, we were beyond poor, so my obsessive/compulsive impulse has always been to get anything "material" I felt I needed or wanted, to combat that old feeling of deprivation. It's taken me a long time to recognize it, let alone confront it, lol. If I could afford it, why not have it? So I thought. Now I realize that no amount of "medicating" myself is going to change that "Deprived Inner Child" feeling.

I grew up poor also and yet I do not hoard anything. Material possessions mean nothing to me as long as I am comfortable. I do not crave to have more and more...Which makes me think that this feeling of wanting more than necessary must be hereditary.

Now I want a different kind of "wealth." I want a home and a lifestyle that places a minimum amount of impact on the earth. I want fewer material possessions, and more free space. I want more free time. Less stress, and more time to reflect. I want to live in the country with my family and my pets and dig my hands in the earth every day. I want to grow my own fruits and veggies and play with my pets, lol. Words have POWER. Giving voice to what you want out of life starts you down the path, mentally, if nothing else.

I agree with you 100% here. That's why I live in the "jungle"... LOL

And I TOTALLY agree about no debt. We are paying for our childrens college educations-they are paying part of it too- so they don't have to start life in debt. Kail and I paid off college debt for SEVEN years after we got married-insane!

We also started with nothing after marriage. My husband did not save money but I did. I never worked but he made good money so we avoided debt.

It's a terrible way to teach your children about how to handle money responsibly. Yes, it gets you thru college, which enables you to get a job, but what does it teach kids about debt? I have a hard enough time with my younger son, whom I can't get to save money, as it is. I keep feeling if i can get him to value working his way thru college and not acquiring debt along the way, that's the best I can do to prepare him for financial responsibility. That's my working theory anyway, lol. :-)

My mother and her sister were like day and night, so different. They were raised the same way yet, my mother saved her money but my aunt spent every penny and lived on debt. Why? Because of their genes. I believe in heredity, I believe that EVERYTHING in a person is inherited. Every trait of the personality is inherited. Upbringing does play a role but you can not change what you inherited. Your younger son may never "learn" to save his money like my aunt never did.

I love too, hearing about everyone's definition of simplicity! It inspires me so much!

OK, here you have it Cyndi. You did not know me from that side, did you... Absolutely nothing to inspire you, just down to earth believes of mine. In a nut schell: save enough money to be able to live comfortably but nothing beyond that. Having millions means nothing to me, I don't want them. I only want to live comfortably...

Barbara

Cyndi

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January 3, 2007