Blame the victim

[Guest guest]

Dearest , your email moved me to tears, many thanks for your empathy. And yes indeed, Harry is still with me. I went through the process of unbearable grief to the beginnings of acceptance more quickly than I would have ever expected. The Hospice Creative Expressions Group I attended was an enormous help in bringing feelings to consciousness for expression.

Sandra O does wonderful work; long long hours with the flaxseedoil2 list. I have great admiration for her, and her patience in repeating over and over to newbies. The huge list seems to be the very best at putting people into remission in the world, with it's detailed info on diet, etc.

But no one is perfect. And Sandra's stance of defending what Budwig wrote at all cost has serious deficiencies IMHO.I've seen her response when others have done poorly, so wasn't surprised at what happened. I take what I need from the list, and don't disagree with her, since she's not about to change her stance. This list, where we openly discuss and change and learn as new information comes in is a huge breath of fresh air to me.

When my husband died Sandra and others told me that my fall from stability was because of my stress and lack of attention to myself through his illness and death. THAT was deeply offensive to me. Do they really believe that lovingly caring for someone will cause cancer? No one asked whether I neglected my own care, which was not the case. And my own diagnosis of cancer, and then the YoYo of will-live - won't live is sufficiently stressful that I (and no one else with cancer or any other serious illness) would never get better, if Stress were the main cause.

In fact, Harry and I were extraordinarily loving and appreciative of each other throughout his illness. That's not stressful at all. In the flaxseedoil2 group, they want to keep the numbers up of those thriving. So they find ways to blame the victim; stress, taking antioxidants or minerals, needing pain-killers, lack of religion, etc. Blame the victim does NOT sit well with me. Whew! What a rant. Thanks for letting me.

And for anyone reads this who is unfamiliar with the flaxseedoil2 list, I heartily recommend it. I still do believe that a modified Budwig program plus oleander and other supplements is most likely the best way to go.

Did I lose track with my rant. , your empathic and caring note really matters to me. I'm grateful! Rhoda

They told you what? The very people that should be offering support?

 

Rhoda, you are doing wonderfully. I know first hand what it is like to

lose your husband and the life changes that it brings. However, the

shock of the sudden death, together with the life changes that followed,

plummeted me into several years of panic and anxiety. I will tell you

one thing though, and you may have already experienced this. Death does

not end the bonds of love.