A message worth sharing with my friends here

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Earlier today I found that I had to craft a response to a troubled young man in my CureZone forum who had no physical illness, but rather an aching heart and confused emotions. It seems that his girlfriend of several months had told him a secret about herself and an ex-lover which made the young man feel jealous, sad and angry. There are no specific herbs for that, and so I had to think for quite awhile on how to answer his plea for advice.Maybe it was the occasion of me celebrating the 36th anniversary of my 20th birthday that made me dig a bit deep and wax a bit philosophic, but in the end the response I made seemed a good one, even if I did get carried away, and perhaps worth sharing with my favorite group of friends here in this group. I hope you don't mind. Love is a precious thing, my friends, and if you have it, don't take it for granted or let petty things wear it down. Cherish it and nurture it, re-ignite it if need be, and never, ever let it go.And if you don't have love in your life today, romantic love that is, do not despair. It is out there for you - never give up and never lose hope.OK, here is what I wrote:Hi, welcome to the forum.When

I read your message, what I see is very little to worry over and much

to be happy about. You have a gal you really like who thinks so much

of you that she has opened her heart and told you, and trusted you

with, something from the innermost depths of her soul. And yes,

despite the best armor you could construct, you have discovered that

you are mortal after all, and anger, jealousy and sadness have found a

way in. But that simply means that you care. When examined for what

such negative emotions are really worth in the true scheme of things,

you will find that they are no more substantial than some uttered

slight that is without substance and is soon blown away like dust in

the wind.

 

Here is a page I made with help from an email I received not long ago to help put our mortal troubles in perspective.

 

/theuniverse.htmWe

all make mistakes and do things we are not proud of - such is the fate

of us mere imperfect mortals. It is not those mistakes that matter so

much as what we learn from them and how we grow. I surely hope to God

that I am not judged for the mistakes I have made nearly so much as for

what I am doing now and what I do in the future. Perhaps you should

look in your heart and ask yourself what are your feelings for this

girl and, regardless of the past which we can never go back and re-do,

ask what you think this girl is like today and what she will likely be

in the days and perhaps years to come. If your feelings for her are

strong, given that you have only known her a short time, and you have

found that you like her qualities and company during the time you have

been together, then forget the past and enjoy the present and let the

future come what may, unburdened by such feelings.I

know how the male jealousy thing can work - many of us, including yours

truly, can be such cavemen in that regard. Forget the old boyfriend.

He too is history, merely a lesson, albeit a costly one, in the path

that brought her to you. And it is YOU that has the girl now. Neither

of you need to re-visit that old lesson, other than to respectfully

tell one another your heartfelt feelings about it and move on. She

does not need you to exact retribution, but she likely does need your

understanding, support and affection. Jealousy is a negative emotion

that can fester and build until it becomes something ugly that spoils

something that might be pure and wonderful - like love. And trust me,

my young friend, nothing in this world is so wonderful as love and

falling in love. It is simply magical - something that makes it seem

like you stepped out of a two dimensional black and white world into a

new multi-colored and multi-dimensional one where anything is possible

and the very air charged with those possibilities. Should

you find true love, there is nothing that will compare with being able

to look into one another's eyes and just fall into each other while the

rest of the world and time and space fade away until your whole

universe becomes just the two of you caught up in that eternal moment.

To kiss one another and have your knees suddenly become weak and your

breath taken away. To wake up each day with a smile on your face

because you have that special person in your life, and you just

naturally think of something special you can do to brighten your

lover's day, perhaps a poem or note of love left lying out or a bunch

of handpicked flowers put in a vase, or some small something that says

"I love you" and makes your heart soar as much as theirs. Quite simply,

to live each day wanting nothing quite as much as making the one you

love happy.

On the other hand, there is nothing sadder in this world, to me, to

have a love like that, or one that even comes close, and then take that

love for granted or let some petty negative emotions like jealousy or

resentment cause it to slip away. Too many people let that happen and

they gradually lose the magic until one day the magic is gone, and then

they lose each other. Even many of the ones who do stay together lose

so much of the love they once had that they become more roommates than

true lovers. That is something that I would wish on no one and would

personally never want to experience again. True love is the most

precious thing we can ever have in this life and it is so rare.Now,

I am not saying that you may have found your true love, but you are so

fortunate to be young and perhaps on the doorstep of finding your love.

The older you get, the greater the odds are that you may never find it

again if you let it slip away. I know of whence I speak and I would

not wish you to be standing many years later in my shoes and looking

back over your shoulder wondering "what if" and still somehow clinging

to the hope that in spite of all odds the fairy tale you seek is still

out there for you and someday you will fall in love again for the last and greatest time in your life.

 

To me, we should never give up on that fairy tale no matter how many

may call us dreamers, because it is such a wonderful dream - to find

someone special, fall in love and never fall out again, instead falling

a little more in love every day for the rest of your life with someone

who will be your best friend, passionate lover, partner in crime

(smile) and fellow adventurer and who will walk hand in hand with you

for the rest of this crazy and exciting journey we call life. A love

where, many years later you will still have much of the same smoldering

passion left over from the white hot heat of your initial lovemaking.

And where, twenty, even thirty years from now, the two of you will

still behave like a couple of young lovers, holding hands, kissing in

public, not acting at all your age, and still having a special light in

your eyes and a catch in your breath at the sight of one another much

as you did the first time you met. . . . sigh.

 

Though you are at the very start of a journey that will likely contain

many pitfalls, perhaps the words of one who has made a lot of that

journey and pretty much stumbled on every rock and fallen in every hole

along the way may help you avoid a few - no greater of which can be

finding love and letting it slip away. And when you do fall, just pick

yourself up and dust yourself off, hopefully a bit wiser for the lesson

even if perhaps a bit nicked and dinged here and there, and just keep

putting one foot in front of the other with a smile on your face, a

song of hope in your heart, and, in my case anyway, more than a little

merry mischief in your eyes.

 

One final thought, you never know when love is going to bite you

squarely on the hind quarters and pierce that armor you think you are

protecting yourself with - and the love you find may be nothing like

the love you think you are seeking. If you do find true love, likely

you will find that perfect love comes not from finding someone perfect

to love, but rather from finding how to love someone imperfect

perfectly.

 

If you see even the slightest possibility of some of these things I

have written, then forget negative feelings such as anger, sadness.

doubt or jealousy. Put a smile on your face and fill your heart with

gladness. Take that gal and look her in the eyes and tell her how you

may not like what has happened in the past, but it is in the past and

that is where it belongs and where it will stay, and let her know you

are there for her and then go have yourself some joy and fun. And

perhaps think of all of the magical possibilities of love.

 

 

"When you love you should not say, God is in my heart, But rather, I am in the heart of God"- The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran"Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great"- Roger De Bussy-Rabutin"Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt thy love."- Hamlet by William Shakespeare"Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connait point."(The heart has its reasons, whereof reason knows nothing)- Pascal"Love is something eternal, the aspect may change, but not the essence"- Van Gogh"The sound of a kiss is not so loud as a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer! "- unknown"Though

I speak with the tongues of men and of angels and have not love, I am

only like a clanging bell. And though I might have the gift of

prophecy and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I

might have all faith so that I could remove mountains, if I have not

love, then I am nothing.And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and sacrifice my body, if I have not love, it profits me nothing.Love suffers long and is kind, love does not envy; love does not promote itself, is not puffed up. Love never fails.And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."- 1st Cor. 13

 

 

Fare thee well, young man, and may you live long, live healthy and live happy!

 

Tony