stress is making me sick, help please

[Guest guest]

herbal remedies, doodle bug <doodlebugboodles> wrote:

>

> Hi,

> I have been having a problem w/ stress lately. I'm spending about

half the week sick. My sons dad comes for visitation on Sundays and

he is really hard to deal w/. I had always dreaded being around him

(my does too) but right now I have too. So as a result I start

feeling poorly on sat evening and don't usually feel better till Tues

or Wed. I'm eating really good, not excersing as good as I should

though. Any ideas?

> Doodles

 

I swim 3-5 times a week at a local pool for about 20 minutes each

time. On really stressful days, I just float (believe it or not it

does wonders for me). Meditation is great too to clear negative

thought, I use calming music. There are herbs like Valerian, Lobelia

and Scullcap to calm nerves, but they're a little too strong for me

(they're in the files). But if your stress because of a person, maybe

some Chamomile tea and trying to work things out might be best. My in-

laws used to get me burnt up to a crisp at times. Til I started

communicating to them nicely how I felt and what made me feel that

way. I also started responding more positively to them (no matter

what they did) and it really threw them through a loop. LOL We have a

much better relationship now and even when they do get a little pushy

at times, the negative + positive = positive really works (not

mathematically of course LOL)Hope this helped somewhat.

:-)

[Guest guest]

Dear Doodles,

 

Sounds like you're going to have to find some way to become at cause over this situation.

 

I know just what you mean as I have something similar with my son's grandparents, who disagree with the way I am raising my son and often criticise me for my actions.

 

Just yesterday they came and brought my son back home after taking him out for the day, and reported that they'd all been crying to see Jamie play with another kid - I am just so cruel to him because I am homeschooling, and thereby depriving him of being able to play with other kids! They have told me before that as they have raised two children, they know better than I how to raise children and I just don't know anything about it, the implication being of course that I am doing it all wrong. The fact that my son is a happy and absolutely gorgeous lad does not seem to indicate to them that just maybe I'm doing something right :-)

 

In discussing this with my husband last night, he asked why this is upsetting me: if I know I am doing the right thing, why should someone else's (differing) viewpoint upset me? So we got to looking at what's going through my mind in those situations and discovered a few things. This made me feel much better about it all.

1) For me it makes it harder that they're not my parents, but my husband's. I don't want to create a situation for my husband, or for my son for that matter. My son adores them, and they adore my son, so that makes it impossible to just stop their visitations.

2) They also buy lots of things for my son, so that in some ways I always feel I owe them something.

3) I have been afraid that they may go over the edge and possible report me to the authorities for abusing my son. I know this sounds crazy, as of course there's no way that home schooling your son can be considered abuse. But ever since Jamie was born with Down's Syndrome I have had this fear that someone some day would take him away from me. You see, I very strongly disagree with psychology, and I don't know what kind of "treatment" they can demand for Jamie. So I've deliberately kept him away from any situation where such demands can be made, including the school now who demanded Jamie be put on a Special Needs program (= psychology program) if he were to be enrolled in the school. I have heard of instances where refusal of such treatment resulted in the child being taken away from the parents. So who knows what my parents-in-law are capable of doing in their viewpoint that I am doing everything wrong in raising Jamie?

 

Just discussing this with my husband, and identifying these considerations did already much to relieve the stress I felt under last night. Next will be to find a way to handle this so that it doesn't keep occurring.

 

Don't know if this helps at all?

 

I'll be quite happy to discuss this with you, but perhaps it would be better off-list? My email address is: lisa.belcher

 

Regards,

Lisa

 

 

-

doodle bug

herbal remedies

Sunday, September 15, 2002 2:38 PM

[herbal remedies] stress is making me sick, help please

 

Hi, I have been having a problem w/ stress lately. I'm spending about half the week sick. My sons dad comes for visitation on Sundays and he is really hard to deal w/. I had always dreaded being around him (my does too) but right now I have too. So as a result I start feeling poorly on sat evening and don't usually feel better till Tues or Wed. I'm eating really good, not excersing as good as I should though. Any ideas? Doodles

 

 

News - Today's headlines Federal Law requires that we warn you of the following: 1. Natural methods can sometimes backfire. 2. If you are pregnant, consult your physician before using any natural remedy. 3. The Constitution guarantees you the right to be your own physician and toprescribe for your own health. We are not medical doctors although MDs are welcome to post here as long as they behave themselves. Any opinions put forth by the list members are exactly that, and any person following the advice of anyone posting here does so at their own risk. It is up to you to educate yourself. By accepting advice or products from list members, you are agreeing to be fully responsible for your own health, and hold the List Owner and members free of any liability. Dr. Ian ShillingtonDoctor of NaturopathyDr.IanShillington

[Guest guest]

Most of my life i have been very fortunate in not being forced to be in the

presence of serious enemies. But it does happen occasionally. It is one of

the hardest things in the world to do, but believe it or not i have been able

to relieve that kind of stress quickly with two steps:

 

1. Try really hard to say only kind words to that person, no matter what may

be said to me.

 

2. Sincerely pray for the person to find happiness.

 

Many people dislike this advice, because it goes against everything this world

teaches us. The source comes from outside this world.

 

On Sun, 15 Sep 2002 06:38:43 -0700 (PDT) doodle bug

<doodlebugboodles wrote:

 

> Hi,

> I have been having a problem w/ stress

> lately.  I'm spending about half the week

> sick.  My sons dad comes for visitation on

> Sundays and he is really hard to deal w/. 

> I had always dreaded being around him (my does

> too) but right now I have too.  So as a

> result I start feeling poorly on sat evening

> and don't usually feel better till Tues or

> Wed.  I'm eating really good, not

> excersing as good as I should though.  Any

> ideas?

> Doodles