FWD: KIND WORDS - Enter the World of the Other Person

[Guest guest]

KIND WORDS - Enter the World of the Other Person

 

" Food for Thought "

The author wishes to remain anonymous

Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum

Printed with Permission of http://www.PartnersInKindness.org

 

I went to the supermarket owner to ask why two checks I had given them

hadn't cleared yet. I was told that someone had come and paid the

equivalent of the checks to the supermarket and torn them up. I was

surprised and grateful.

 

The owner didn't know who the person was and neither did I. The owner

also commented that it frequently happens that people come and pay

towards the bills of other people they know are going through a hard

time. So I also took some money and put it towards someone else's bill.

 

This is a real taste of heaven where everyone is anonymously buying

everyone else food. A true act of kindness that nourishes the body and soul.

 

*

 

" Enter the World of the Other Person "

From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas,

stories, and insights

By Zelig Pliskin

Printed with Permission of Shaar Press

 

One of my students explained:

 

I have a complex personality and rarely feel understood. When I have a

difficult issue that I need to deal with, most people I speak to

verbally shoot from the hip. They say things that might fit the inner

world of others, but not mine. I remember how great it felt to meet

someone who didn’t offer any advice or suggestions until he understood

the entire picture from my perspective. He took my unique personality

into consideration before making any helpful comments. And that is why

what he told me was so constructive.

 

Another student admitted:

 

I am very emotional. My emotions are intense and don’t change as easily

as they do for most other people I know. When other people tell me,

" Just cheer up, " or, " Just calm down, " it’s not a bit helpful.

 

When you wish to help people, enter their world.

 

To be truly helpful you need to take into consideration: life history,

total present situation, unique personality, patterns of emotions, and

individualized perceptions and evaluations.

When you enter someone’s world, that person no longer feels lonely. You

are more likely to avoid making distressful or counterproductive

comments. And what you do say could be precisely what this person needs

to hear.

 

Learning to enter the world of another person is a learnable skill. The

more people you interview and listen to carefully, the more your

expertise will grow.

 

Probe with sensitivity. Some people would prefer that you don’t ask

personal questions. But those who wish to be understood will greatly

appreciate your probing questions as intended to be helpful and not as

prying into their private lives. Here your motivation is very important.

If you are asking questions just because of your own curiosity, the

person might be offended and protect his privacy. But when your

questions are solely for the other person’s benefit, they are likely to

be appreciated.

 

Listen to understand. Listen nonjudgmentally. Comprehend why this person

did what he did from his perspective. Then your advice and suggestions

will be more readily accepted. Your concern for the total welfare of

this person will come through and will be appreciated.

 

--------------------------------

 

Kindness in Many Languages

 

To Subscribe and visit our archives, go to:

Potentiel_de_Bonte/ (French)

http://espanol.LapracticadelaBondad/ (Spanish)

http://de.FreundlicheWorte/ (German)

http://br.ParceirosNaBondade/ (Portuguese)

 

If you or your school would like to translate our e-mails into other

languages, send an e-mail to: info

 

--------------------------------

 

Kind Words is a free weekly e-mail distributed by Partners In Kindness.

 

Although the content of these e-mails contains copyrighted material,

Partners in Kindness allows users who register at our website to reprint

them in print, on a website, or on an e-mail distribution list at no cost.

 

If you have permission to reprint this e-mail, please ensure that you

reprint the entire e-mail (including this notice).

 

Kindness is like music, art, sports or any other discipline -- it can

only be mastered with practice, training, and lots and lots of

encouragement. That is what PartnersInKindness.org is trying to promote.

 

The archive for Kind Words e-mails is located at:

PartnersInKindness

 

For further information, please visit our Website

http://www.PartnersInKindness.org

e-mail: info

 

To send a blank e-mail to:

Kindness-

 

--------------------------------