Premenopausal Diagnosis...uncertainty, need comments, ideas

[Guest guest]

Namaste,

 

My name is Aishwarya. I am new to the group and have been reading your posts

and have learned so much. I am a level one Reiki initiate and hope to one

day go to massage school to become a massage therapist.

 

I have a question that perhaps someone might help me answer. I apologize in

advance for the length of this post, but I had a devastating experience with

allopathic medicine that I believe may have played a heavy role in what

appears a permanent state of my physical health and I would like to provide

you with this context before asking my question.

 

I am 42 years old and have stopped having menstrual periods for 2 and 1/2

years now.

 

I would like to explain some changes that I believe led to this state of my

body. First, I have checked with all living female members of my family and

none of them began menopause so early and none was ever diagnosed with

" premature menopause " or " premature ovarian failure "

 

Here's the story of what was going on prior to this change in my body.

I was on several psychotropic medications for 10 years (I no longer take

these-I have turned to natural, Chinese and Ayurvedic methods to deal with

my depressions). During this 10-year period my weight went from 127 lbs to

227 lbs. At about the 10-year mark, the first thing that began to happen was

that my period became sporadic. After taking some lab tests, the allopathic

doctor diagnosed me with a slowed thyroid and put me on levoxyl. Shortly

there after I was diagnosed with high Cholesterol and was put on Pravochol.

Then, with a blood glucose level of 95, I was told to take Glucophase due to

the high cholesterol and other risk factors like obesity and family history.

In the fall of that year my menstrual periods stopped altogether. Then,

after doing all that I was told to do for all of these conditions for some

months, in late April, I began to feel very strange...like something was

deeply wrong with my body. The only thing that I could point to was that

perhaps my thyroid levels were off and needed a medication adjustment. So,

even though at the time I had no medical insurance, since I knew that I

could not do anything about the thyroid levels that raised question in my

mind without consulting my doctor, I called my prescribing doctor to have

the test run and said that I would make payments to him to do the testing.

He refused and told me to go to the nearest emergency room because " they

could not refuse me. " This was the day my life turned completely around.

 

On that day I threw away more than 15 allopathic drugs. Within 48 hours I

was in the emergency room feeling as if I were ready to give birth. I had

the worst cramps that I had ever had in my life. By 3 a.m. my menstrual

period started-over a year had passed without it by now. It was more painful

than I had ever experienced (I was put on morphine for the pain) and lasted

over 8 days (Ionger than is usual for me). I was also told to have an

ultrasound due to severe uterine pain. That ultrasound showed one fibroid

tumor with a stalk on the back of my uterus the size of a golf ball. And

again, none of the women in my family have a history of fibroid tumors. At

this point, I began to read the literature on the side effects of each of

the medications I had been taking and found that Paxil had produced

" enlarged fibroids " in some women taking this drug. When I called the drug

company to learn about their long-term studies on this drug I discovered

there were none. All they did was keep record of the complaints that came in

after their 12 month to 3-year trial study period on this drug. I was also

told that since I was taking other drugs at the same time as Paxil that it

couldn't be proved that any problems that I was having was due to Paxil,

some other of the medications I was taking or some combination of the others

by themselves or with Paxil. I couldn't believe that I allowed myself to put

so much faith in this capitally driven American Healthcare System in which

" feed the " disease " with a chemical drug for an indefinitely period if not

the rest of your natural life " is the philosophy.

 

I began to get copies of all of my medical records at this time as well as

speak to my gynecologist to find out what was really going on with my body.

He was baffled, but was certain that my problems with my menstrual periods

was related to my metabolism. So, even though I had no outward signs of

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, he diagnosed me with this-and wanted to put me

on either hormones or glucophase. " No way, " I said. " I want to see a

reproductive endocrinologist before I do anything more. " So I followed up

with one and was told that I did not have PCOS after both inspection of my

outward body and extensive laboratory testing. I was told, however, that I

had Dysmetabolic Syndrome X and should never be put on any psychotropic

medication that impacted the metabolic systems unless it was a

life-threatening emergency and only short term.

 

Ironically, I became depressed because of a conflict in my marriage over

whether my husband and I would have children. I wanted them. He did not. I

became depressed and he suggested anti-depressants. I wanted to save my

marriage and wait to see if he would change his mind. He did not and

eventually we divorced, but by then I had been conditioned to medicate

myself just to leave the house and live life each day. But, since over this

period of time, antidepressants did not work to " fix " my sadness, I was

further prescribed over time medications for bipolar disorder and eventually

antipsychotics like risperidone and seroquel. I fell into a system convinced

me that I was " mentally ill " and set up to " take care of my illness " for the

rest of my life! And, this happened quite easily since I just became sadder

over this apparently " hopeless " state of affairs.

 

So anyway, many years later, after my divorce, here I was very, very ill and

needed to take my health into my own hands. I started by doing many things

including throwing all those meds away. I became a vegetarian and learned

about reading food labels. I read every book I could find on holistic health

and medicine. I became spiritual and began mindfulness practice and

meditation. I utilized all and everything that I could afford including

aromatherapy and Reiki. I got all new doctors and let them know that I

viewed their role in our relationship as consultants on my health, not

fixers of disease, and that I would take or not take their advise only after

further consultation and research. Things went very well. Within a year, I

lost eighty pounds-no exercise at all (just using the changes in lifestyle

and diet mentioned above). When retested, cholesterol, thyroid and blood

glucose and insulin were normal. The only thing that had changed in one year

was that my Follicle Stimulating Hormone test score went from 2 (normal) to

76 (post menopausal). I had only one period during that year-a year after

that visit to the emergency hospital-and that was during one cycle in which

I had gone back in my calendar and counted 28 days for a year and so that I

could start a progesterone medication on exacted the right day. After that,

nothing.

 

We retook that FSH test a year later and the score was in the low 60s. At

this point, my new gynecologist diagnosed me as having Premature Menopause

or Pre-Ovarian Failure. I was devastated. No children ever and no husband.

Both were gone. But, I was not going to return to that original sadness that

got me here. I simple chose to accept this news of permanent infertility as

one of the possibilities and recognized that even if it were a fact, that I

would be okay. At 42, there are many wonderful experiences in my life that

could not have happened if I had been tied down with children and given

other problems in my marriage, I probably would have divorced him anyway and

having had children would have made life difficult in a way different than

it was today. And lastly, at 42, my life really doesn't have much room for

children in it and I no longer have the kind of patience that I used to. In

other words, no matter what was the case, I would get through it and be

fine. At most, if this diagnosis were correct, I would create a small ritual

by taking a baby flower and burying it in the beauty of the mountains and

grieve for a moment of time over my lost fertility and the child that I

never had.

 

Thank you if you read this far. I needed to share this and provide a context

for my question.

 

Now, having been given this last diagnosis. The fact is, again, I have no

symptoms of menopause: no hot flashes, no mood swings, no weight gain, and

no vaginal dryness-nothing. My doctor wanted to put me on hormone

replacement and I refused because of this-I don't need it. She said that it

would also help with osteoporosis. But, I argued that I was not of European

heritage and did not have a petite body frame and therefore was not

represented fairly in the studies of those women who got osteoporosis. Only

one person in my family was ever even at risk for this. I told her that I

would take a calcium supplement for this and would do weight baring

exercises and weight training. She said that she would contact a specialist

in autoimmune diseases to find out about a test for POF. I have never heard

back from her on this.

 

>From my perspective, the FSH as an indication of menopause or POF is a

correlation, not an absolute indication of this disease. Does anyone know

anything more about this kind of problem I'm having from a naturopathic,

homeopathic, Ayurvedic or otherwise alternative health system? Does anyone

know anything from any of those systems of healing that might be done for

someone who has stopped having periods that might help the system to

rebalance and periods return? I know that I am nearing a normal age for

menopause and don't have much time anyway even if I were to find some

alternative treatment. But this is my life and I want to try. I want to try

any last thing I can before I commit myself to the belief that I'm in this

new time of life-the menopause--permanently. I believe that belief, in

itself, is an essential part of one's health or disease and the experience

thereof; and as such, I take my belief about my state of health very

seriously. I'm not looking for diagnosis. I'm not looking for " the

treatment " answer " that will fix my problem. I want to consider options.

Thus, I am looking for ideas that I can use for stepping stones of my own

research and that I can considered trying in one last effort to change the

situation or begin to accept menopause with my whole heart and move on from

there.

 

Thank you so much for listening and considering my situation.

 

Respectfully,

 

Aishwarya