Fwd: New Drugs

[Guest guest]

The Food and Drug Administration has just announced the following

 

drugs have been released for trial in the US.

 

 

 

D A M I T O L

 

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.

 

 

 

ST. M O M 'S W O R T

 

Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers

 

unconscious for up to six hours.

 

 

 

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N

 

Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing

 

the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't

 

wait till they moved out.

 

 

 

P E P T O B I M B O

 

Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an

 

evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and

 

improves flirting.

 

 

 

D U M E R O L

 

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing

 

enjoyment of country western music.

 

 

 

F L I P I T O R

 

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and

 

the urge to make obscene gestures at other drivers.

 

 

 

M E N I C I L L I N

 

Potent antibiotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines

 

as, " You make me want to be a better person ...can we get naked now? "

 

 

 

B U Y A G R A

 

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and

 

duration of spending spree.

 

 

 

Extra Strength B U Y-O N E-A L

 

When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy

 

so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a

 

book by Dr.Laura.

 

 

 

J A C K A S S P I R I N

 

Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,

 

anniversary or phone number.

 

 

 

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T

 

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to

 

share their life stories with total strangers.

 

 

 

S E X C E D R I N

 

More effective than Excedrin in treating the " Not now, dear, I have a

 

headache, " syndrome.

 

 

 

R A G A M E T

 

When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as

 

ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of

 

doing it herself.

 

 

 

 

Gettingwell- / Vitamins, Herbs, Aminos, etc.

 

To , e-mail to: Gettingwell-

Or, go to our group site: Gettingwell

 

 

 

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