Scared of Permanent Damage / Respiratory Dyskenisia

[Guest guest]

scared of permanent

damage from the meds I came off of.. having dibilitating

physical problems...

 

In late 1999 after a loss in my family, I felt devastated and went

to a Psychiatrist in hopes of some safe relief in the form of

antidepressants. I had had a history of addiction to painkillers

like Percocet and didn't want to resort to that again. He prescribed

Zoloft originally which I had an allergic reaction to and got very

nauseus. I went to the hospital where I was given compazine, (a

neuleptic nausea medication) and had what's called a dystonic

reaction to that.. (lost control of my motor skills.. thoughyt I was

dying.. Had to take benadryl to stop the allergic reaction to that.

So then I ended up on Serzone and Klonopin,.. at the time my doc

told me I needed the Klonopin until my brain adjusted to the

Serzone. I told him of my addictive tendancies but he assured me. I

kept in touch with him and he allowed my dose of Konopin to increase

to 10mg per day. While after several months I just wasnt feeling

right at all and decided to get off of both meds. I tapered off of

the serzone, but had no luck with the Klonopin. I found myslef

angry... hostile towards myself and others wihich is not like me at

all.. I eve got into a fight for the first time where I got choked

badly and ended up in the hospital. This is all while managing the

responsibility of working on Big Budget films creating special

sequences. WHile my health was getting worse as I tried to taper

myself.... I actually managed to taper to about 2.5 mg of Klonopin

on my own, but I was a wreck... My health isurance was at the time

(before my career took a dive) Motion Picture health Plan and they

offered to send me to Betty Ford and pay for the whole cost. I went

and at BFC they tapered me the rest of the way (with no

substitution) in 17 days! WHen I returned to LA, I started having

breathing difficulty so bad I landed in the emergengy room pretty

much every day until I checked myself into UCLA psych after they

couldn't find anything wrong. After seeing some very sad sights

there, I decided that was not the place for me, and left and went

under the care of a new Psychiatrist who Betty FOrd reccomended as

an addiction expert. I didn't want to go back on meds after all that

work and then rehab, but I couldn't stand the physical torment, so I

went under his care and landed on Serzone again (200 mg per day)

Neurontin (2700 mg per day) and Ativan (10 mg per day).. Lots of

meds, I know. And I hated the way I felt on them. I had a new

relationship with a girl who held out hope that I'd get better, but

I hated the way I felt on the meds.. wanted very badly to be clean

of all meds, and always felt trapped and like I was wlking on

eggshells trying to avoid a breathing difficulty episode. I always

felt that there was some underlying cause to the brething difficulty

besides just anxiety. It would come and not settle down or subside

even when I felt calm. I investigated and found out that acid reflux

can cause breathing difficulties and when I was in that fight... I

had an esophagram and they told me I had reflux. I even got scared

(and still am) that I might be one of those rare cases suffering

permanent damage or diskenisia from the Serzone or the Compazine. I

tried acid reflux meds, and had an endoscopy, shich showed mild

reflux damage, and throughout this 2 1/2 year time I was constantly

trying to manage my career while unsuccessfully trying to wean off

the meds. WHile a couple months after being on the acid reflux

medication, I had a problem where I couldn't swallow, and completely

panickid...even water just gurgled out of my mouth.. I wen to the

hospital the next day and they told me my vocal cords / larynx had

been scorched from reflux and swithced my reflux medication. THis

continued to happen on each medication so I stopped with the reflux

meds and changed my diet and staerterd natural supplements. I made

coming off my meds my first priority.. gave up my carreer, and

slowly tapered off the Serzone and Neurontin. I had already tapered

about a year ago down to about 3mg of Ativan per day. SO now I'm

taking only Ativan 3mg per day and another medication called Topamax

(25mg per day) for occular migraines. I want off all of it, but want

to do it safely... And I'm having physical problems right now that I

can't tell if are permanent nerve damage from the meds or just

protaracted withdrwal / taking a short acting benzo... I'm having

difficulty breathing, diffuiculty swallowing, acid reflux so bad its

burning my vocal cords unless I eat very conservatively, my throat

click when I swallow and gets burned when I talk for too long. (I

read about vocal cord dysfunction and don't know if this is a

component??) My new gastoenterologist wants me to take a test

tomorrow to see if I have amovement disorder of the espophagus

affecting my breathing and swallowing... he said I could be having

some kind of upper laryngo reflux which would explain why the reflux

meds don't work... I'm also having sever back pain and most recently

blurred vision. I've been terrified that I'm dying or permantly

disabled or crippled by these meds. I've been running around to more

Doctors than an insurance company could ever imagine...I'm home now

33, living with my Mom, feeling like I can't breathe, wondering if

this is gonna get better or if I'm stuck like this.. and not wanting

to go to see any Psychiatrist here unless he's in totla harmony with

my desire to be off meds... tehy all seem to recommend more SSRI's

or other Psych meds.. (And if that's your suggestion, respectfully,

please don't email me. I just don't believe in them for me anymore

after what I've gone through). I was even wqaking up for about a

month or so with a red rash covering me that looked like a sunburn

and went away in an hour.. What the heck are all these physical

symptoms?? I can't eat normal food or go anywhere without fear.. I

used to have a life!.. I jumped out of an airplane, used to have a

motorcycle, and traveled.. I'm very confused, and scared that I have

Respiratory DIskenisia, but I'm praying that it's just withdrawl and

I'll get through this to be a better person. Any insight?? Thank all

of you and all my best prayers and wishes for your recovery. THanks

for reading and and help.

 

-Jon

 

If anyone has any real insght into this you can reach me at

redshift714 by " linking to the earth "

[Guest guest]

Dear Jon,

 

The breathing difficulty and the acid reflux problem are very common symptoms of

coming off the drugs that you mention.

 

Try going to our links page and you will find a lot of links. Quite a few are

about these drugs and their problems. Look for benzo (benzodiazapine) links or

ssri links.

 

Welcome to the group. Please stay here but I also reccomend that you join the

benzo group (benzo @ ) and some of the SSRI groups as well (ssri

research, and others). ( again links are on our links page)

 

They are groups of people who are having problems with benzodiazapines and SSRI

antidepressants. Some are world class in their information.

 

One website to go to is http://www.benzo.org . There is a wealth of information

there. They list something like 150 diffferent symptoms of benzo toxicity.

 

Those website will give you information on the effects, damage, sysmptoms etc.

Threy do not cover the use of natural substances to heal, counter the

sysmptomns, use in place of, etc though. There are also approx. 14,000 messages

in our message archives here. just go to our home page and click either on

messages and search or s page and read as much as you can. The

clickable link address for our home page is at the bottom of every message.

 

Ask any questions here that you like, but this field now has tons of information

( unfortunatly not by the medical field) brought together by victums, and the

quickest way to learn it is by reading the accumulated info.

 

 

You will be fine in the end if you educated yourself and then you are armed to

deal with the problems and are not at the mercy of most medical uninformeds.

 

Frank

 

 

 

pandainspace <redshift714 wrote:

scared of permanent

damage from the meds I came off of.. having dibilitating

physical problems...

 

In late 1999 after a loss in my family, I felt devastated and went

to a Psychiatrist in hopes of some safe relief in the form of

antidepressants. I had had a history of addiction to painkillers

like Percocet and didn't want to resort to that again. He prescribed

Zoloft originally which I had an allergic reaction to and got very

nauseus. I went to the hospital where I was given compazine, (a

neuleptic nausea medication) and had what's called a dystonic

reaction to that.. (lost control of my motor skills.. thoughyt I was

dying.. Had to take benadryl to stop the allergic reaction to that.

So then I ended up on Serzone and Klonopin,.. at the time my doc

told me I needed the Klonopin until my brain adjusted to the

Serzone. I told him of my addictive tendancies but he assured me. I

kept in touch with him and he allowed my dose of Konopin to increase

to 10mg per day. While after several months I just wasnt feeling

right at all and decided to get off of both meds. I tapered off of

the serzone, but had no luck with the Klonopin. I found myslef

angry... hostile towards myself and others wihich is not like me at

all.. I eve got into a fight for the first time where I got choked

badly and ended up in the hospital. This is all while managing the

responsibility of working on Big Budget films creating special

sequences. WHile my health was getting worse as I tried to taper

myself.... I actually managed to taper to about 2.5 mg of Klonopin

on my own, but I was a wreck... My health isurance was at the time

(before my career took a dive) Motion Picture health Plan and they

offered to send me to Betty Ford and pay for the whole cost. I went

and at BFC they tapered me the rest of the way (with no

substitution) in 17 days! WHen I returned to LA, I started having

breathing difficulty so bad I landed in the emergengy room pretty

much every day until I checked myself into UCLA psych after they

couldn't find anything wrong. After seeing some very sad sights

there, I decided that was not the place for me, and left and went

under the care of a new Psychiatrist who Betty FOrd reccomended as

an addiction expert. I didn't want to go back on meds after all that

work and then rehab, but I couldn't stand the physical torment, so I

went under his care and landed on Serzone again (200 mg per day)

Neurontin (2700 mg per day) and Ativan (10 mg per day).. Lots of

meds, I know. And I hated the way I felt on them. I had a new

relationship with a girl who held out hope that I'd get better, but

I hated the way I felt on the meds.. wanted very badly to be clean

of all meds, and always felt trapped and like I was wlking on

eggshells trying to avoid a breathing difficulty episode. I always

felt that there was some underlying cause to the brething difficulty

besides just anxiety. It would come and not settle down or subside

even when I felt calm. I investigated and found out that acid reflux

can cause breathing difficulties and when I was in that fight... I

had an esophagram and they told me I had reflux. I even got scared

(and still am) that I might be one of those rare cases suffering

permanent damage or diskenisia from the Serzone or the Compazine. I

tried acid reflux meds, and had an endoscopy, shich showed mild

reflux damage, and throughout this 2 1/2 year time I was constantly

trying to manage my career while unsuccessfully trying to wean off

the meds. WHile a couple months after being on the acid reflux

medication, I had a problem where I couldn't swallow, and completely

panickid...even water just gurgled out of my mouth.. I wen to the

hospital the next day and they told me my vocal cords / larynx had

been scorched from reflux and swithced my reflux medication. THis

continued to happen on each medication so I stopped with the reflux

meds and changed my diet and staerterd natural supplements. I made

coming off my meds my first priority.. gave up my carreer, and

slowly tapered off the Serzone and Neurontin. I had already tapered

about a year ago down to about 3mg of Ativan per day. SO now I'm

taking only Ativan 3mg per day and another medication called Topamax

(25mg per day) for occular migraines. I want off all of it, but want

to do it safely... And I'm having physical problems right now that I

can't tell if are permanent nerve damage from the meds or just

protaracted withdrwal / taking a short acting benzo... I'm having

difficulty breathing, diffuiculty swallowing, acid reflux so bad its

burning my vocal cords unless I eat very conservatively, my throat

click when I swallow and gets burned when I talk for too long. (I

read about vocal cord dysfunction and don't know if this is a

component??) My new gastoenterologist wants me to take a test

tomorrow to see if I have amovement disorder of the espophagus

affecting my breathing and swallowing... he said I could be having

some kind of upper laryngo reflux which would explain why the reflux

meds don't work... I'm also having sever back pain and most recently

blurred vision. I've been terrified that I'm dying or permantly

disabled or crippled by these meds. I've been running around to more

Doctors than an insurance company could ever imagine...I'm home now

33, living with my Mom, feeling like I can't breathe, wondering if

this is gonna get better or if I'm stuck like this.. and not wanting

to go to see any Psychiatrist here unless he's in totla harmony with

my desire to be off meds... tehy all seem to recommend more SSRI's

or other Psych meds.. (And if that's your suggestion, respectfully,

please don't email me. I just don't believe in them for me anymore

after what I've gone through). I was even wqaking up for about a

month or so with a red rash covering me that looked like a sunburn

and went away in an hour.. What the heck are all these physical

symptoms?? I can't eat normal food or go anywhere without fear.. I

used to have a life!.. I jumped out of an airplane, used to have a

motorcycle, and traveled.. I'm very confused, and scared that I have

Respiratory DIskenisia, but I'm praying that it's just withdrawl and

I'll get through this to be a better person. Any insight?? Thank all

of you and all my best prayers and wishes for your recovery. THanks

for reading and and help.

 

-Jon

 

If anyone has any real insght into this you can reach me at

redshift714 by " linking to the earth "

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I am going to have to start proofreading this stuff. Sorry but I left

off the uk at the end of http://www.benzo.org.uk.

 

I don't count the spelling and grammer. it comes and goes.

 

Frank

 

 

Gettingwell , Frank <califpacific> wrote:

> Dear Jon,

>

> The breathing difficulty and the acid reflux problem are very

common symptoms of coming off the drugs that you mention.

>

> Try going to our links page and you will find a lot of links. Quite

a few are about these drugs and their problems. Look for benzo

(benzodiazapine) links or ssri links.

>

> Welcome to the group. Please stay here but I also reccomend that

you join the benzo group (benzo @ ) and some of the

SSRI groups as well (ssri research, and others). ( again links are on

our links page)

>

> They are groups of people who are having problems with

benzodiazapines and SSRI antidepressants. Some are world class in

their information.

>

> One website to go to is http://www.benzo.org . There is a wealth of

information there. They list something like 150 diffferent symptoms

of benzo toxicity.

>

> Those website will give you information on the effects, damage,

sysmptoms etc. Threy do not cover the use of natural substances to

heal, counter the sysmptomns, use in place of, etc though. There are

also approx. 14,000 messages in our message archives here. just go to

our home page and click either on messages and search or click on

links page and read as much as you can. The clickable link address

for our home page is at the bottom of every message.

>

> Ask any questions here that you like, but this field now has tons

of information ( unfortunatly not by the medical field) brought

together by victums, and the quickest way to learn it is by reading

the accumulated info.

>

>

> You will be fine in the end if you educated yourself and then you

are armed to deal with the problems and are not at the mercy of most

medical uninformeds.

>

> Frank

>

>

>

> pandainspace <redshift714@e...> wrote:

> scared of permanent

> damage from the meds I came off of.. having dibilitating

> physical problems...

>

> In late 1999 after a loss in my family, I felt devastated and went

> to a Psychiatrist in hopes of some safe relief in the form of

> antidepressants. I had had a history of addiction to painkillers

> like Percocet and didn't want to resort to that again. He

prescribed

> Zoloft originally which I had an allergic reaction to and got very

> nauseus. I went to the hospital where I was given compazine, (a

> neuleptic nausea medication) and had what's called a dystonic

> reaction to that.. (lost control of my motor skills.. thoughyt I

was

> dying.. Had to take benadryl to stop the allergic reaction to that.

> So then I ended up on Serzone and Klonopin,.. at the time my doc

> told me I needed the Klonopin until my brain adjusted to the

> Serzone. I told him of my addictive tendancies but he assured me. I

> kept in touch with him and he allowed my dose of Konopin to

increase

> to 10mg per day. While after several months I just wasnt feeling

> right at all and decided to get off of both meds. I tapered off of

> the serzone, but had no luck with the Klonopin. I found myslef

> angry... hostile towards myself and others wihich is not like me at

> all.. I eve got into a fight for the first time where I got choked

> badly and ended up in the hospital. This is all while managing the

> responsibility of working on Big Budget films creating special

> sequences. WHile my health was getting worse as I tried to taper

> myself.... I actually managed to taper to about 2.5 mg of Klonopin

> on my own, but I was a wreck... My health isurance was at the time

> (before my career took a dive) Motion Picture health Plan and they

> offered to send me to Betty Ford and pay for the whole cost. I went

> and at BFC they tapered me the rest of the way (with no

> substitution) in 17 days! WHen I returned to LA, I started having

> breathing difficulty so bad I landed in the emergengy room pretty

> much every day until I checked myself into UCLA psych after they

> couldn't find anything wrong. After seeing some very sad sights

> there, I decided that was not the place for me, and left and went

> under the care of a new Psychiatrist who Betty FOrd reccomended as

> an addiction expert. I didn't want to go back on meds after all

that

> work and then rehab, but I couldn't stand the physical torment, so

I

> went under his care and landed on Serzone again (200 mg per day)

> Neurontin (2700 mg per day) and Ativan (10 mg per day).. Lots of

> meds, I know. And I hated the way I felt on them. I had a new

> relationship with a girl who held out hope that I'd get better, but

> I hated the way I felt on the meds.. wanted very badly to be clean

> of all meds, and always felt trapped and like I was wlking on

> eggshells trying to avoid a breathing difficulty episode. I always

> felt that there was some underlying cause to the brething

difficulty

> besides just anxiety. It would come and not settle down or subside

> even when I felt calm. I investigated and found out that acid

reflux

> can cause breathing difficulties and when I was in that fight... I

> had an esophagram and they told me I had reflux. I even got scared

> (and still am) that I might be one of those rare cases suffering

> permanent damage or diskenisia from the Serzone or the Compazine. I

> tried acid reflux meds, and had an endoscopy, shich showed mild

> reflux damage, and throughout this 2 1/2 year time I was constantly

> trying to manage my career while unsuccessfully trying to wean off

> the meds. WHile a couple months after being on the acid reflux

> medication, I had a problem where I couldn't swallow, and

completely

> panickid...even water just gurgled out of my mouth.. I wen to the

> hospital the next day and they told me my vocal cords / larynx had

> been scorched from reflux and swithced my reflux medication. THis

> continued to happen on each medication so I stopped with the reflux

> meds and changed my diet and staerterd natural supplements. I made

> coming off my meds my first priority.. gave up my carreer, and

> slowly tapered off the Serzone and Neurontin. I had already tapered

> about a year ago down to about 3mg of Ativan per day. SO now I'm

> taking only Ativan 3mg per day and another medication called

Topamax

> (25mg per day) for occular migraines. I want off all of it, but

want

> to do it safely... And I'm having physical problems right now that

I

> can't tell if are permanent nerve damage from the meds or just

> protaracted withdrwal / taking a short acting benzo... I'm having

> difficulty breathing, diffuiculty swallowing, acid reflux so bad

its

> burning my vocal cords unless I eat very conservatively, my throat

> click when I swallow and gets burned when I talk for too long. (I

> read about vocal cord dysfunction and don't know if this is a

> component??) My new gastoenterologist wants me to take a test

> tomorrow to see if I have amovement disorder of the espophagus

> affecting my breathing and swallowing... he said I could be having

> some kind of upper laryngo reflux which would explain why the

reflux

> meds don't work... I'm also having sever back pain and most

recently

> blurred vision. I've been terrified that I'm dying or permantly

> disabled or crippled by these meds. I've been running around to

more

> Doctors than an insurance company could ever imagine...I'm home now

> 33, living with my Mom, feeling like I can't breathe, wondering if

> this is gonna get better or if I'm stuck like this.. and not

wanting

> to go to see any Psychiatrist here unless he's in totla harmony

with

> my desire to be off meds... tehy all seem to recommend more SSRI's

> or other Psych meds.. (And if that's your suggestion, respectfully,

> please don't email me. I just don't believe in them for me anymore

> after what I've gone through). I was even wqaking up for about a

> month or so with a red rash covering me that looked like a sunburn

> and went away in an hour.. What the heck are all these physical

> symptoms?? I can't eat normal food or go anywhere without fear.. I

> used to have a life!.. I jumped out of an airplane, used to have a

> motorcycle, and traveled.. I'm very confused, and scared that I

have

> Respiratory DIskenisia, but I'm praying that it's just withdrawl

and

> I'll get through this to be a better person. Any insight?? Thank

all

> of you and all my best prayers and wishes for your recovery. THanks

> for reading and and help.

>

> -Jon

>

> If anyone has any real insght into this you can reach me at

> redshift714 by " linking to the earth "

 

[Guest guest]

In Gettingwell , " pandainspace " <redshift714@e...>

wrote:

> scared of permanent

> damage from the meds I came off of.. having dibilitating

> physical problems...

>

> In late 1999 after a loss in my family, I felt devastated and went

> to a Psychiatrist in hopes of some safe relief in the form of

> antidepressants.

 

I investigated and found out that acid reflux

> can cause breathing difficulties and when I was in that fight... I

> had an esophagram and they told me I had reflux. I even got scared

> (and still am) that I might be one of those rare cases suffering

> permanent damage or diskenisia from the Serzone or the Compazine.

I

> tried acid reflux meds, and had an endoscopy, shich showed mild

> reflux damage, and throughout this 2 1/2 year time I was

constantly

> trying to manage my career while unsuccessfully trying to wean off

> the meds. WHile a couple months after being on the acid reflux

> medication, I had a problem where I couldn't swallow, and

completely

> panickid...even water just gurgled out of my mouth.. I wen to the

> hospital the next day and they told me my vocal cords / larynx had

> been scorched from reflux and swithced my reflux medication. THis

> continued to happen on each medication so I stopped with the

reflux

> meds and changed my diet and staerterd natural supplements. I made

> coming off my meds my first priority.. gave up my carreer, and

> slowly tapered off the Serzone and Neurontin. I had already

tapered

> about a year ago down to about 3mg of Ativan per day. SO now I'm

> taking only Ativan 3mg per day and another medication called

Topamax

> (25mg per day) for occular migraines. I want off all of it, but

want

> to do it safely... And I'm having physical problems right now that

I can't tell if are permanent nerve damage from the meds or just

> protaracted withdrwal / taking a short acting benzo... I'm having

> difficulty breathing, diffuiculty swallowing, acid reflux so bad

its

> burning my vocal cords unless I eat very conservatively, my throat

> click when I swallow and gets burned when I talk for too long. (I

> read about vocal cord dysfunction and don't know if this is a

> component??) My new gastoenterologist wants me to take a test

> tomorrow to see if I have amovement disorder of the espophagus

> affecting my breathing and swallowing... he said I could be having

> some kind of upper laryngo reflux which would explain why the

reflux

> meds don't work... I'm also having sever back pain and most

recently

> blurred vision. I've been terrified that I'm dying or permantly

> disabled or crippled by these meds. I've been running around to

more

> Doctors than an insurance company could ever imagine...I'm home

now

> 33, living with my Mom, feeling like I can't breathe, wondering if

> this is gonna get better or if I'm stuck like this.. and not

wanting

> to go to see any Psychiatrist here unless he's in totla harmony

with

> my desire to be off meds... tehy all seem to recommend more SSRI's

> or other Psych meds.. (And if that's your suggestion,

respectfully,

> please don't email me. I just don't believe in them for me anymore

> after what I've gone through). I was even wqaking up for about a

> month or so with a red rash covering me that looked like a sunburn

> and went away in an hour.. What the heck are all these physical

> symptoms?? I can't eat normal food or go anywhere without fear.. I

> used to have a life!.. I jumped out of an airplane, used to have a

> motorcycle, and traveled.. I'm very confused, and scared that I

have Respiratory DIskenisia, but I'm praying that it's just

withdrawl and

> I'll get through this to be a better person. Any insight?? Thank

all of you and all my best prayers and wishes for your recovery.

THanks for reading and and help.

>

> -Jon

>

> If anyone has any real insght into this you can reach me at

> redshift714 by " linking to the earth " ---

 

Hello! Difficulty breathing is a common side effect of many of these

drugs. Misdiagnosis is common. Family members have had the same

problems. Many of these drugs adversely affect the thyroid.

If you need a replacement, a drug called Lithium is one of the best

there is available out there, in my opinion until you can taper

completely off. This drug has fewer side effects than any of the

others.

Ativan should not be taken over any extended period of time and is

usually prescribed only after surgeries.

This is typical. If you have a problem the solution in 'their'

opinion is offering one more drug. There are a very very select few

that will assist you in withdrawal. These drugs produce a culture of

robotic zombies. People on these drugs are quite easy to manipulate

from what I have observed. We are fast becoming an SSRI nation.

Supposedly this is the answer to every emotional need.

There are a few websites that deal with this subject.

 

www.truehope.com

 

Try Fennel and natural licorice obtainable at the health food stores

for your reflux. Also changing to an all-organic diet should be

beneficial for this.

http://www.truefoodnow.org/gmo_facts/product_list/

 

JoAnn