Re Children with disorders

May 18, 2002

morrigana,

I do not know a herbal solution to this, but have some experience as with

others on this list with a child who is suppose to be " possibly ADD,

marginally autistic etc. " .

Connor did not really talk until he was 3, he had/has very strange rituals

(the " rain man " image works for me), and has always been a " high

maintenance " child.

Connor's biggest problem seems to be that he does not " process "

communication the way " normal " people do. He does not talk very well

(sentences jumbled, wrong words) and he does not seem to understand the

non-verbal communication cues like the rest of us. He does not seem to

understand when people are getting upset with him for example (body

language, facial expressions, voice changes). When he talks he tends to

walk around in circles as he is talking (weird things like that).

In the school system, we really have to advocate for our children, it does

not take care of them alone. If you have a child like this " different " he

or she will not fit into their mould. For example for Connor to express

himself - right now anyway - he does a better job of it if he can walk

around while he is talking. If you try to make him sit still, he can't seem

to get out what he needs to say. You can imagine that the teacher does not

allow him to do that! So it is hard for him and he gets frustrated.

Frustration = behavioural issues.

Now, we cannot allow our children to behave badly just because that they are

spoiled and with out discipline, and I am with the other person that posted

that the home makes a huge difference to the outcome of our children, but

sometimes they really are just " different " .

If your grandson is like this, you need to discover what the differences are

and learn how to deal with them or embrace them and help him to learn how to

deal with them the best he can. For my son, we have to teach him how to

read peoples faces, constantly reminding him of what will make people

unhappy and how to recognize it, so he can try to understand and deal with

people on some kind of " normal " social level. It is very weird to have to

try to teach these basic kind of things - " normal " people just know these

things. One person mentioned understanding the word " the " as an example.

You would expect a child of that age to understand certain things, but

sometimes they just don't.

It is a huge job and time consuming and takes a lot of looking at yourself

to make sure you are not making the problem worse (Yuck - hate that part!).

But if you can really get to know your grandson, and what makes him tick,

you can help him. What are his triggers (anxiety at home?, food allergies,

too much sugar...?). My son, is not allowed to play computer games except

as a treat on the weekend. He is so obsessive about these games (and boy he

is good at them), that as he is playing, he will heat up, turn red and start

to sweat as he plays them. He used to play at daycare before going to

school. Can you imagine what that poor teacher had to deal with when the

hopped up computer junkie arrived in her classroom after an hour of an

intense session of frog man!!! I had no idea what he was like until I went

to pick him up one day from daycare and found him in this state!

Anyway, I am rambling, don't know if I am helping at all, but wish you the

best of luck.

Janene

Remember - Advocate for your child - the school system will NOT take care of

him, that is your (the parents) responsibility. Whether we like it or not,

that is the reality today!

May 18, 2002

thanks Janene you have been very encouraging and your words i will forward to my daughter and i am sure that they will bring her some comfort; she also blames herself and she needs to hear words like this

-

Janene Brierley-Green

Herbal Remedies Group

Friday, May 17, 2002 7:58 PM

[herbal remedies] Re Children with disorders

morrigana,I do not know a herbal solution to this, but have some experience as withothers on this list with a child who is suppose to be "possibly ADD,marginally autistic etc.".Connor did not really talk until he was 3, he had/has very strange rituals(the "rain man" image works for me), and has always been a "highmaintenance" child.Connor's biggest problem seems to be that he does not "process"communication the way "normal" people do. He does not talk very well(sentences jumbled, wrong words) and he does not seem to understand thenon-verbal communication cues like the rest of us. He does not seem tounderstand when people are getting upset with him for example (bodylanguage, facial expressions, voice changes). When he talks he tends towalk around in circles as he is talking (weird things like that).In the school system, we really have to advocate for our children, it doesnot take care of them alone. If you have a child like this "different" heor she will not fit into their mould. For example for Connor to expresshimself - right now anyway - he does a better job of it if he can walkaround while he is talking. If you try to make him sit still, he can't seemto get out what he needs to say. You can imagine that the teacher does notallow him to do that! So it is hard for him and he gets frustrated.Frustration = behavioural issues.Now, we cannot allow our children to behave badly just because that they arespoiled and with out discipline, and I am with the other person that postedthat the home makes a huge difference to the outcome of our children, butsometimes they really are just "different".If your grandson is like this, you need to discover what the differences areand learn how to deal with them or embrace them and help him to learn how todeal with them the best he can. For my son, we have to teach him how toread peoples faces, constantly reminding him of what will make peopleunhappy and how to recognize it, so he can try to understand and deal withpeople on some kind of "normal" social level. It is very weird to have totry to teach these basic kind of things - "normal" people just know thesethings. One person mentioned understanding the word "the" as an example.You would expect a child of that age to understand certain things, butsometimes they just don't.It is a huge job and time consuming and takes a lot of looking at yourselfto make sure you are not making the problem worse (Yuck - hate that part!).But if you can really get to know your grandson, and what makes him tick,you can help him. What are his triggers (anxiety at home?, food allergies,too much sugar...?). My son, is not allowed to play computer games exceptas a treat on the weekend. He is so obsessive about these games (and boy heis good at them), that as he is playing, he will heat up, turn red and startto sweat as he plays them. He used to play at daycare before going toschool. Can you imagine what that poor teacher had to deal with when thehopped up computer junkie arrived in her classroom after an hour of anintense session of frog man!!! I had no idea what he was like until I wentto pick him up one day from daycare and found him in this state!Anyway, I am rambling, don't know if I am helping at all, but wish you thebest of luck.JaneneRemember - Advocate for your child - the school system will NOT take care ofhim, that is your (the parents) responsibility. Whether we like it or not,that is the reality today!Federal Law requires that we warn you of the following: 1. Natural methods can sometimes backfire. 2. If you are pregnant, consult your physician before using any natural remedy. 3. The Constitution guarantees you the right to be your own physician and toprescribe for your own health. We are not medical doctors although MDs are welcome to post here as long as they behave themselves. Any opinions put forth by the list members are exactly that, and any person following the advice of anyone posting here does so at their own risk. It is up to you to educate yourself. By accepting advice or products from list members, you are agreeing to be fully responsible for your own health, and hold the List Owner and members free of any liability. Dr. Ian ShillingtonDoctor of NaturopathyDr.IanShillington