meditation of the week from cybermonks

[Guest guest]

The Body Factor

 

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" To be calm and well poised is the center of power. "

Leon DeSeblo

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It is no secret that body language communicates emotional information.

If a person sits slumped with a scowl on their face and their arms

across their chest, we can easily read from their expression and

posture that they are not in a receptive state. To engage them in a

useful dialogue, we would not want to stand close above them clenching

and unclenching our fists while shifting our weight from foot to foot.

Instead, we’d pick a non-threatening pose, give them plenty of space,

and talk in a calm voice.

 

What seems less well understood is that, not only does body language

communicate internal states; it influences internal states. Recently,

at a gathering of adults, a new mother arrived with her baby.

Immediately, several of the female adults went into auntie mode. They

wanted to hold the baby, and their speech changed from normal adult

lingo to baby talk. Holding the baby gave these women pleasure. One of

them even described herself as a baby addict. She knew that holding a

baby would give her pleasant feelings. It didn’t have to be her baby.

It wasn’t about bonding. Any baby would do. As the afternoon wore on,

the baby was passed from person to person, and each got his or her

moment of well-being. The women in the group were more interested than

the men, but the men got the little jolt of joy too when it was their

turn.

 

Human beings are neurologically designed to be nice to babies. Being

nice to babies is emotionally rewarding. Unless other emotions get in

the way, we get good feelings from holding them. This works out well

for the little ones because they are more likely to thrive if adults

want to be close to them and attend to them. It appears there is a

subroutine in our nervous systems that runs when stimulated by babies.

We want eye contact with them. We want to draw close. Our vocalizations

change to baby talk without conscious intent. We get warm fuzzy

feelings from touching and holding them—until the crying starts, and

then another behavioral routine fires up.

 

Interestingly, the baby isn’t the sole stimulus for what we might call

the nurturing response. Our physical positions and movements related to

comforting a baby can change our emotions whether a baby is present or

not. Here is an experiment for you:

 

Notice how you are feeling. Now, fold your arms across you chest.

Notice any change in your feeling state? If you don’t notice anything

right off, try lowering your head and scowling while keeping your arms

folded. Any difference? This probably hasn’t improved your mood, so

let’s keep going. Now place your hands on your upper chest, so that

your forearms or wrists cross and your fingertips are near your

collarbone. Notice any difference? By the way, you should have stopped

scowling by now, but if you haven’t, try a slight smile, tilt your head

a little to the side and rock or sway just a bit. Now what are you

feeling? Most people will feel more comfortable in this self-hugging

nurturing pose. They may even notice an inclination to speak baby talk.

 

To experiment with the relationship of vocalization to body position,

try this: Going back to the arms folded across the chest pose, exhale

and make a nonverbal sound. Then change to the more nurturing pose or

some variation that imitates holding a baby, exhale and make a

nonverbal sound. There is a good chance that with your arms crossed the

sound was more growly, and in the nurturing pose your sound was higher

pitched and soothing.

 

The point of considering all this is to increase awareness of how

physical behavior influences emotional states. If we can be more aware

of our posture and its effect on our feelings, we can be less

victimized by our emotions and less vulnerable to unpleasant emotional

states. We don’t have to be run by our emotions. To a great extent we

create them by our movement and posture, our facial expressions, and

especially by thoughts and the images we hold in mind.

 

If you are feeling unhappy, observe what you are doing in your thoughts

and in your body. If you notice you are slumping, try a more upright

posture. Breathe more deeply and choose a more reassuring thought to

hold in mind.

 

Meditation is normally taught with a significant emphasis on posture.

The position of your body clearly influences the quality of your

meditation. Sitting upright with a straight spine enables a

neurological state that induces calm clarity in the same way that

holding a baby, a puppy or a doll can induce warm fuzzy mind.

 

When you meditate, sit as if you are a mountain. Sit as if you are the

mountain and the person sitting on the mountain looking out over the

vastness of the world. Sit solidly without swaying of fidgeting. Enable

your mind to be open as the sky, clear as mountain air. Place your

hands in such a way that your nervous system knows that there is no

work to do now. Let your hands tell your brain that this is a time of

peace and quiet. Your hands are placed together or rest on your thighs

in a state of calm that signals this is a time to be aware without

doing.

 

 

 

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