There are times you got to GET RID OF THE CLIENT! weight loss

[Guest guest]

I totally agree with what Doc is saying here. I've often made the mistake of taking way too much responsibility for other people - as if it's not hard enough to be responsible for all the stuff I do in my own life. Sometimes the most healing thing we can do for another person is straightforward honesty - sorry, I can't help you. Regarding what her agenda might be. What comes to mind is that she may simply be in therapy to confirm that she cannot actually be helped, in this way in a sense condoning her maintenance of the problem. Sometimes our very attempts to help becomes part of the problem.

 

Regards

 

Johan

 

-

docspeed2001

Monday, May 30, 2005 9:08 PM

There are times you got to GET RID OF THE CLIENT! weight loss

, "hunter.cris" <hunter.cris@w...> wrote:> Hi all,> > I have hit a brick wall with a client of mine who is doing all the >drills and more and is just piling on a kilo a week. I can't >reverse it and no-one else seems to be able to. She > REFUSES to use EFT even though I have tried to reframe it, change >the phrase etc she can't get that level of acceptance of herself.I'll be real polite here......THEN GET RID OF HER!YOU wasting your valuable time with a client that does NOT do as you, an authority suggests, does NOT deserve to be your client.Her agenda is NOT to heal her problem.So, Cris, others on the group, what is her agenda?

[Guest guest]

Hi Chris, I'm in a totally different type of business than you are

but think the same would still apply, the first thought that popped

into my mind is: " drop her " , she's a " time and energy thief " !

 

Why is she continuing to come back to you if she is refusing to let

you help her with the problem at hand? Well...she could be

benefitting in some other way that you are not aware of. And that

is, she's using you as a commiserator and sympathizer....and sucking

on your really nice energy.

 

For that added and thankless service (and it is an added service in

my opinion) I'd up my price - it may give her some incentive to work

at it or go elsewhere on her own accord - or kindly tell her there is

nothing more that I can do for her and send her elsewhere. But then

that's me and time and energy, and my sanity, are valuable to me.

 

Lori

 

healingenergies-

essentialskills , " docspeed2001 " <docspeed2001>

wrote:

> healingenergies-

> essentialskills , " hunter.cris " <hunter.cris@w...>

> wrote:

> > Hi all,

> >

> > I have hit a brick wall with a client of mine who is doing all

the

> >drills and more and is just piling on a kilo a week. I can't

> >reverse it and no-one else seems to be able to. She

> > REFUSES to use EFT even though I have tried to reframe it, change

> >the phrase etc she can't get that level of acceptance of herself.

>

> I'll be real polite here...

>

> ...THEN GET RID OF HER!

>

> YOU wasting your valuable time with a client that does NOT do as

> you, an authority suggests, does NOT deserve to be your client.

>

> Her agenda is NOT to heal her problem.

>

> So, Cris, others on the group, what is her agenda?

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi All!

 

>I'll be real polite here...

>

>...THEN GET RID OF HER!

>

>YOU wasting your valuable time with a client that does NOT do as

>you, an authority suggests, does NOT deserve to be your client.

>

>Her agenda is NOT to heal her problem.

>

>So, Cris, others on the group, what is her agenda?

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

My first impression was a whiny voice saying " I just feel good by the

attention I get from this and the entertainment. So I don't really need

to drop the weight since I feel " comfortable " with it. "

 

Also, the EFT " setup " is the key to turning off psychological reversal,

which if turned on, will NOT allow any kind of relief to be permanent.

 

Many times it make the opposite effect desired to be manifested.

 

So drop her or ask for an amount of money that will motivate her to

really do her job or say " that's too expensive, So I'll go to the next

person to entertain me. "

 

At least you will win either way. So will she.

[Guest guest]

>

> I'll be real polite here...

 

I love it when you are polite )))

> ...THEN GET RID OF HER!

 

nah, i need the dosh AND she is making progress - granted very slow but she

is now doing drills that she cocked a snoot at a year ago. She is seeing

the VALUE of doing the drills....

 

> YOU wasting your valuable time with a client that does NOT do as

> you, an authority suggests, does NOT deserve to be your client.

>

I guess at least i get paid to waste my time - keeps the bank happy and me

in clothes....

 

> Her agenda is NOT to heal her problem.

>

Uhuh, she doesn' integrate " I want to lose weight " , has huge PR around it

and try as I might I can't collapse it and get to the nutshell. feels like

we get close and then she shies away. She does have issues around

trust....and around men....

 

> So, Cris, others on the group, what is her agenda?

>

Staying in an unhappy place where she is FAT, UGLy and can't ATTRACT a man

so she can't be disappointed again. that would be my from the hip response

and I think it is probably close to the mark......if not bang on.....

 

I just think that there must be a way through this. When i model you and

take her to the worst case scenario she does her drills (whilst cursing me

of course....).

 

Cris

[Guest guest]

Hi Johan,

 

yep, been there done that and got the t-shirt!!!!! I have got rid of clients before now when I have thought that there was some kind of dependency involved on either side.

 

I guess part of the dependency here for me is financial and I recognise that - even though it makes me feel uncomfortable

 

On the other hand, she is making progress with the drills, mainly through me saying "what is the point of you coming to see me if you aren't going to listen and take on board what I am saying - either you trust my judgement on this or you don't! Look, let's energy test and show you how the drills make a difference. FEEL the difference. Where do you feel it? Show me. etc etc etc".

 

I have tried choices with EFT, tried allowing for the possibility that she could accept herself etc etc BUT she goes into TW overwhelm EVERY time - so she then sedates TW.

 

Her field flops if i take a magnet near it so i can't use magnets on her NLs (which is a real bummer).

 

All her systems can come 'online' during a session but then she crashes either a few days or a couple of weeks later. When this happens she doesn't crash as spectacularly as she has done in the past and there is an element of having seen an improvement she gets disheartened when she takes a small nosedive - her baseline is higher than it was.

 

Glad the post has created some discussion - she is coming again on friday so will post updates then....

 

thanks to everyone for the comments and suggestions

 

-

Johan Roelofse

Monday, May 30, 2005 10:52 PM

Re: There are times you got to GET RID OF THE CLIENT! weight loss

 

I totally agree with what Doc is saying here. I've often made the mistake of taking way too much responsibility for other people - as if it's not hard enough to be responsible for all the stuff I do in my own life. Sometimes the most healing thing we can do for another person is straightforward honesty - sorry, I can't help you. Regarding what her agenda might be. What comes to mind is that she may simply be in therapy to confirm that she cannot actually be helped, in this way in a sense condoning her maintenance of the problem. Sometimes our very attempts to help becomes part of the problem.

 

Regards

 

Johan

 

[Guest guest]

Aw thanks Lori, I kinda like the thought that you think I have nice

energy!!!!

 

Actually this is interesting cos she always pays me more than the session

price cos she acknowledges that she is the client from hell. It has been an

interesting lesson in boundary setting and letting stuff wash over me rather

than getting involved, in sitting back during a session and letting her go

OTT as she refuses to sedate TW and then having her FEEL and notice the

difference when she finally does it!!!!

 

I first posted about this client months ago on CE as whenever I worked on

her chakras she felt as if she was burning up and on two occasions i got

blisters on my hands during the session. THAT doesn't happen anymore and

hasn't for a while.

 

I think I might talk to her about the hypo thyroid diet and see if that

makes a difference......

 

She has had breaks from our sessions (which also invovled her stopping doing

the drills)for several months. When she makes contact again she has usually

just started doing the drills again a couple of days before she comes in.

this is the first time that she has done the drills consistently for any

period of time.......A GREAT STEP FORWARD - which is possibly why she is

piling on the pounds again and why i think that EFT is the answer.....

 

thanks again

 

 

-

" darthon4 " <darthon4

 

Monday, May 30, 2005 11:18 PM

Re: There are times you got to

GET RID OF THE CLIENT! weight loss

 

 

> Hi Chris, I'm in a totally different type of business than you are

> but think the same would still apply, the first thought that popped

> into my mind is: " drop her " , she's a " time and energy thief " !

>

> Why is she continuing to come back to you if she is refusing to let

> you help her with the problem at hand? Well...she could be

> benefitting in some other way that you are not aware of. And that

> is, she's using you as a commiserator and sympathizer....and sucking

> on your really nice energy.

>

> For that added and thankless service (and it is an added service in

> my opinion) I'd up my price - it may give her some incentive to work

> at it or go elsewhere on her own accord - or kindly tell her there is

> nothing more that I can do for her and send her elsewhere. But then

> that's me and time and energy, and my sanity, are valuable to me.

>

> Lori

>

> healingenergies-

> essentialskills , " docspeed2001 " <docspeed2001>

> wrote:

>> healingenergies-

>> essentialskills , " hunter.cris " <hunter.cris@w...>

>> wrote:

>> > Hi all,

>> >

>> > I have hit a brick wall with a client of mine who is doing all

> the

>> >drills and more and is just piling on a kilo a week. I can't

>> >reverse it and no-one else seems to be able to. She

>> > REFUSES to use EFT even though I have tried to reframe it, change

>> >the phrase etc she can't get that level of acceptance of herself.

>>

>> I'll be real polite here...

>>

>> ...THEN GET RID OF HER!

>>

>> YOU wasting your valuable time with a client that does NOT do as

>> you, an authority suggests, does NOT deserve to be your client.

>>

>> Her agenda is NOT to heal her problem.

>>

>> So, Cris, others on the group, what is her agenda?

>>

>>

>

>

>

 

[Guest guest]

hi Chris,

 

the more information you give, the more I can appreciate Doc's suggestion to

get rid of her ... for you own sake. The alternative is that you shape up in

'managing' this client. If you wonder how, read some of the books of Milton

H. Erickson and another favourite of mine is Provocative Therapy by Frank

Farrelly.

 

Greetings,

René

 

-

" hunter.cris " <hunter.cris

Tuesday, May 31, 2005 7:43 PM

Re: Re: There are times you got

to GET RID OF THE CLIENT!

 

>

> Actually this is interesting cos she always pays me more than the session

> price cos she acknowledges that she is the client from hell. It has been

> an

> interesting lesson in boundary setting and letting stuff wash over me

> rather

> than getting involved, in sitting back during a session and letting her go

> OTT as she refuses to sedate TW and then having her FEEL and notice the

> difference when she finally does it!!!!

>

> I first posted about this client months ago on CE as whenever I worked on

> her chakras she felt as if she was burning up and on two occasions i got

> blisters on my hands during the session. THAT doesn't happen anymore and

> hasn't for a while.

>

> I think I might talk to her about the hypo thyroid diet and see if that

> makes a difference......

>

> She has had breaks from our sessions (which also invovled her stopping

> doing

> the drills)for several months. When she makes contact again she has

> usually

> just started doing the drills again a couple of days before she comes in.

> this is the first time that she has done the drills consistently for any

> period of time.......A GREAT STEP FORWARD - which is possibly why she is

> piling on the pounds again and why i think that EFT is the answer.....

>

> thanks again

>

> Cris

 

 

 

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