understanding in a war time- from a different area

[Guest guest]

with doc's permission i am sharing with you what it is like for me in

this war.

i live in a different area than orna.

it is long

but it is all about what is happening here and maybe the group will have

some thoughts of how to make it better some how...

if not -- not...

 

i write what i feel for the big " you " as in you all.

i write because i hope it is helpful for others to understand that this

war is real, and makes horrible sense,

and that this was is as important for you as it is for me

and it is important for you and for every jewish non-muslim that i/we

am/are here and literally holding down the fort for you

and all the others so that when some muslim in seattle decides he is

going to shoot up some people/young jewish women in a jewish center

more of you people will understand what it is like for us to fight

here, and to fight for you.

 

please, send this and what i write to whomever you think needs to

understand about sirens and wars, about pain and about stopping

violence. send this to generous people who might want to make donations

to help our soldiers have enough equipment to survive this war. and stop

it.

so that all our people and their good people can come out from the

shelters - have food - real food to eat, sleep in their own beds and

walk without fear.

 

it is not just israelis at war. and as much as i am against war and

killing - this one is for the world - this war is to prevent or try to

prevent a much larger holocaust than the world suffered in ww2.

so...

AUGUST 8. 2006

 

just a few days ago i had a houseguest. the war was moving along and

becoming more and more intense. i was spending hours trying to

coordinate teams of emdr people willing and ready to risk the drive up

north, the sound of the sirens, the fears of rockets flying and landing

and going boom.

 

 

 

everyone talks about the booms – boomboomboom people say…

 

the boom indicates that the rocket is down…

 

and you are not under it.

 

there is a sigh of relief as the boom goes off and then fear,

trepidation, worry, there is the rise of voices asking - where did it

fall that was close - too close.

 

 

 

the first time i heard the booms i was in an office with many windows.

and my client - and i looked at each other and i said that did NOT come

from the fish ponds where they fire canons to make the birds fly off.

 

the second boom came and my client, a young man said, ' in the army i

taught soldiers about arms and ammunitions' –

 

i didn't comprehend what he was saying or even why.

 

at the third boom is said..

 

ok, now what was that.

 

and he looked me in the eye and said...without batting an eyelash..s

katyushas... and i said, here?

 

 

 

.... and now what do we do and he said...

 

nothing -- they did not land here..

 

and then the 4th boom and i said..

 

now what should we see if we go outside and he said smoke spirals.

 

so out we went -- no smoke spirals just a hot sunny day.

 

and back to work. that didn't last long either because we found out

where the booms were and he realized his girlfriend was there.

 

so i sent him off to his girlfriend.

 

 

 

but...

 

back to my guest. while she was staying at my home, i explained to her

about the shelters, about where to go and what to do. she asked me if i

would be going to the shelter if there is a siren. And I hemmed and

hawed of course, and thought..

 

well my office is a shelter and is deep under ground. but that is in

kfar tabor. and i refuse to go to my assigned shelter on the kibbutz

for two reasons. there is no running water, and no bathrooms and

besides - my house is a safe house - from top to bottom. but -- i did

say i would go and be under the stairwell which is the safest place in

the house.

 

 

 

bless my guest's heart and her sincere caring.

 

off i went to work secure in the knowing that i had prepared her and she

understood and most important that she was safe.

 

after all dropping a rocket 500 meters from jordan is not a wise thing

for nasrallah to try.

 

 

 

what i didn't explain to my wonderful houseguest was that there are two

areas under the stairs . both of them filled to overflowing with stored

goods. One inside the house with air-conditioning and the other outside

with nooo air-conditioning. The temperatures outside now range from

38-45 centigrade.

 

now you must bless her again for her wonderous heart, her ingenuity and

her good sense. she worked hard all day and emptied out the front

storage bin and cleaned it up and put in washed chairs and the

appropriate bucket.

 

and then my heart fell into the pit of my stomach.

 

 

 

i realized she understood what i was denying and refusing to understand.

this is a real war. and in real wars people get hurt and in this war

rockets fall all around and one does not know where it is going to fall

or if it will be on you.

 

 

 

i still laugh when i look at my little shelter and wonder if i really

will go into it -- but the reality is clearer.

 

my guest left. and i am home now after a few days way down south - with

my grandchildren and children. it was peaceful and there were no sirens

and i didn't get to hear news. and then i came home. and i brought the

car around to the house to unload.

 

and the siren started.

 

 

 

and i said... S#$% - now what do i do.

 

there was no one around.

 

not even a bird. and the siren sang its wail.

 

i picked up a bundle and went into the house. the siren stopped.

 

and i stood there and thought..

 

now what do i do.

 

so i figured out i am supposed to wait.

 

i didn't hear a boom.

 

i figured well –

 

i guess it went elsewhere.. and unpacked the first bag.

 

 

 

and then out i went to the car to get the next bags.. and the sirens

began to sing -- really sing. and my heart said.. listen to your head

and stay put..

 

and i looked at the little shelter and i said.. maybe.

 

 

 

and then the sirens stopped.

 

Well, i emptied the car- parked it and then did the next dumb thing that

people do when they are in denial.

 

off i went to see if there were people in the swimming pool. and there

were a few bikes there.

 

and i said.. ahhhh - must be all over now.

 

 

 

And in the morning I go to my office and find that about 50 meters

behind my office the engine of one of the rockets landed - there is

only a red tape marking the area now. The army filled the hole with

rocks. It is deep. The rest of the rocket landed in an arab village

rather distant by car about 30 kilometers but air lines make it shorter

I guess.

 

 

 

And then the sirens in my office during working hours.

 

And I found out how clients feel

 

and get anxious

 

and how some clients go numb

 

and freeze

 

and how some want to get deeper into the shelter and how some don’t care

at all.

 

And the role and sources of anxiety become clearer and more

comprehensible.

 

 

 

And then today. Once again sirens – I am at home today.

 

And the sirens went off and I sent out the email I was writing and went

down to look at the little shelter and waited, and thought.

 

And the first boom,

 

and then the second boom

 

and the siren’s wail quieted

 

and I looked around and people began to stir and birds began to fly.

 

So I got on my bike and ran off to my appointment.

 

 

 

And as I pass the main office I ask – where did the rocket land and I

hear—on the gilboa mountain. And my heart skips a beat. I was just

talking to a client on his way up the gilboa.

 

And then the sirens go off just as two shaky women step out of the

nearest bomb shelter.

 

And the wail of the sirens is louder where we are and I am dragged into

the shelter where I do not want to be.

 

 

 

And along come one of the woman’s father –

 

he is about 90 years old.

 

He is on his go cart and on his way home.

 

The last thing he is concerned about is the siren’s wail.

 

His daughter calls him and commands him to get into the shelter – she is

in a state of panic.

 

He wants to tell me about his fight with the Syrians in 1948 – what’s a

siren he says in comparison to the shoot out with the Syrians 300 meters

away from me. And his daughter (50 years old) is shaking and pulling him

deeper into the shelter.

 

 

 

And the women are worried about the bus load of children on the way to

tel aviv and then there is another boom.

 

The sirens stop wailing and I want out of the shelter – the old man

wants out of the shelter and the women say you need to wait 15 minutes.

 

I skipped off and for today there have been no more sirens here where I

live.

 

 

 

But since I last wrote you all many people have died, children,

soldiers, citizens – ours and theirs.

 

And over 3000 rockets have landed in israel.

 

And people I know have lost people they know and friends and parents and

the country is weeping.

 

But the Israeli cabinet decided it must continue.

 

And the people are ready for it.

 

How can it be the north of Israel is empty?

 

How can this be – how can it be happening.

 

And the stories and the memories that make it so hard to cope with and

hope that maybe this time will be the last.

 

Well,

 

So much for my personal tales.

 

 

 

We have teams working different emd protocols and each day more

effective protocols are developed and designed to help alleviate the

anxieties.

 

They are on our website under the title “tik herum” = emergency file.

 

These are available for all to see and try out. Some of them are

translated into Hebrew. Most are in English – please let us know how

they work for you if you do try them.

 

www.emdr.org.il

 

 

 

 

 

I add below two of the reports of our team members – the brave and

wonderful work that these front line psychologists are doing to help

people continue to cope with this difficult summer of 2006. I am not

adding more for two reasons, one this is a very long document and two,

the others are in Hebrew and need translating. But for now.

 

 

 

 

 

From a psychiatrist august 7th – his third trip to nahariya – and to

the shelters in nahariya.

 

On Sunday in Nahariya I could feel the difference in the number of

sirens and landings heard. Just this week the city began operating

their siren. Before that time policeman would patrol the city and urge

people to go into their shelters. The advantage of the siren is that

they now have between 3-5 seconds to get into their shelter (not very

much time). The disadvantage is that there are several false alarms so

those people already traumatized are now having an additional number of

times of being traumatized. In the past only if the katyushas landed

near them did they hear the explosion. Now they get to be included in

all or most of the actual and false landings.

 

Report on miklat wandering: (miklat= shelter)

 

I had hoped to do some follow up with those I had seen before. I went

back to the miklat where in the beginning the man who had gone back out

to get his child’s blanket was hit directly by the katyusha. The man I

originally treated was not in the Miklat as he had left the miklat to

take care of different things. (without doing a follow up the fact he

could leave the miklat was a success). Then others in that shelter

began to talk to me. I worked with a woman (72 years old) who said that

when the katyusha that killed the man hit, they had not yet closed the

escape doors of the miklat and because of it an enormous amount of smoke

filled the miklat (with awful smell of gunpowder and burnt flesh) She

went outside and also saw what was left of the man. She could not use

the 0-10 scale but her fear she showed with her hands was 10 when she

thought of the smoke and noise and picture. It dropped to 1 and she

said she felt safe as long as in the miklat and did not intend to leave.

Her sister came next and said that she had constant headache. I used

the pain protocol and her headache disappeared. Then came a 3rd woman

who had arthritis to the level that she would get steroid injections

(which she cannot get during all of this time) As a religious woman she

did not want me touching her even with using pens to tap and could not

follow my fingers with her eyes. She did self tapping but because of

the arthritis could not tap well. She had her pain level drop although

it remained. Then in the same miklat a young man (30’s) came over with

constant headaches. He had been next to the man when they ran into the

miklat (the man had been safe but ran back to get the blanket for his

daughter). Since this man was in the entrance way when the explosion

hit the sound was deafening and he initially he lost his hearing but

over 2 days recovered most of his hearing. Since then (2-3 weeks) he

has had constant headache. He was intact enough to fill out the impact

of events scale so that it might be possible to do a reevaluation next

week. When he saw the event nc: I’m in danger pc: safe now from that

event. Fear in head and stomach suds 6. It also dropped to 1 and he

reported his headache was gone.

 

I went to the next miklat where we had done group emdr and most of the

people were on a trip to the city Rishon Lezion so I did not get to do

follow up with them but those there reported their had been improvement

after we left and it was a positive sign they could leave the miklat at

all.

 

We called the woman who could not get into her safe room because of the

reactivation of the trauma 15 years ago where she had horrible things

done to her in a jail cell. Although she reported that she still had

not gone into her closed room she was unable to do another session as

she had left her apartment and was taking care of errands (also can be

seen as success as she was finally able to leave her apartment)

 

Then I went to a miklat where the parents were reporting having great

difficulty with the children. A 2 year old that had not needed diapers

was back in them. There were three 5-6 year olds who the parents

reported would not go even near the stairways to leave the miklat and

would scream and put there fingers in their ears when the sound of

sirens or explosions were heard. We did group emdr and it was amazing

to watch the transformations of the pictures of all the children. In

the end were pictures of smiling faces (started as frowns with tears)

and doing homes with sunshine. They all felt better and so we went up

the stairs and to the entrance of the miklat (where they had never gone)

but did not go outside because the sirens were sounding and there were

the sounds of explosions. One of the girls jumped with the sound of the

explosions so she was told to do self taping and immediately calmed down

and stayed there. It was then hard for me to get them to go back into

the miklat but we talked about it is good to stay in when explosions are

going off. Then we went down to the parents who recognized that their

(the parents) nervousness was probably activating their children. They

did not want to draw but we had them do self tapping and gave them “new

information” regarding the physiology of the response to danger. Then

“think of that”. They followed the same protocol of what ever came up

in their mind they should continue from there. All of them were calmer

and acknowledging that as long as they were in the miklat they were

safe.

 

We received a call regarding a woman that on Friday was outside during

an explosion that was near by. She in the beginning had a panic

reaction and was screaming and terrified. Then she felt enormous

tiredness and was sleeping round the clock (for 3 days). When trying to

target the past event she did not feel anything. But imagining going

out to take a shower (leaving the miklat) in the future caused a suds

level 10 felt in her stomach. This dropped to suds of 1 with eye

movements as long as she went at night when there were far less

katyushas landing. She then had a voc of 6 regarding I can be safe (go

out only at night when she judged the situation to be safer). She

appeared much more relaxed and was smiling at the end of the session.

 

a psychiatrist

 

 

Another impression

 

 

I can only give my impressions after having volunteered for a week in

cities hit harder than my own (Haifa). I was in Nahariya and Ma'alot

that have numerous alerts and missile landings per day. Many people

suffer from traumatic stress and have anxiety attacks. Since the war is

still going on, it is not reasonable to expect that people would be over

their fear at this time. Every siren brings on an adrenalin surge with

shaking and increased heart-beat. This is whether or not missiles

actually land near-by. (I was interrupted by sirens twice already while

writing this msg - I am at home in Haifa resting before I go again to

Nahariya tomorrow.)

 

 

People are afraid to leave their shelters - there have been missiles

that landed right beside the shelter and one man was killed going out

for a moment to retrieve his child's blanket. Many people are handling

the crisis well, but there are many calls for help from the shelters for

children and adults who have anxiety attacks with every siren.

 

 

Many of those who left their homes in the north and are staying in the

center of the country with friends, family or volunteers who opened

their doors to absorb the refugees are also suffering from anxiety

attacks.

 

 

I know that helping people in real time is effective - many volunteers

are going into shelters to work with groups - one takes the adults and

another the children and they do group interventions to help them deal

with their anxieties. They use a combination of EMDR (without the R)

and drawing exercises to deal with current anxiety and help build

resilience.

 

We cannot compare this war with the intifada nor with the Gulf War. I

lived through all three and the current situation is harder and more

frightening than both the former put together.

 

 

Regards,

 

a clinician

[Guest guest]

Doc, if this is too political for this forum, please feel free to delete

this message.

 

First off, let me say that I am deeply impressed by the work Fran in doing.

Using this mind technology to calm anxiety and psychological reactions

during a time of war, in the midst of rockets raining down, is a very

courageous and heroic thing to be doing. My hat's off to her...

 

That being said I also have to say that I disagree with some of the

statements she made below. Particularly this one:

 

 

On 8/10/06 11:01 PM, " fran yoeli " <yoeli wrote:

 

> i write what i feel for the big " you " as in you all.

> i write because i hope it is helpful for others to understand that this

> war is real, and makes horrible sense,

> and that this was is as important for you as it is for me

> and it is important for you and for every jewish non-muslim that i/we

> am/are here and literally holding down the fort for you

> and all the others so that when some muslim in seattle decides he is

> going to shoot up some people/young jewish women in a jewish center

> more of you people will understand what it is like for us to fight

> here, and to fight for you.

>

> please, send this and what i write to whomever you think needs to

> understand about sirens and wars, about pain and about stopping

> violence. send this to generous people who might want to make donations

> to help our soldiers have enough equipment to survive this war. and stop

> it.

> so that all our people and their good people can come out from the

> shelters - have food - real food to eat, sleep in their own beds and

> walk without fear.

>

> it is not just israelis at war. and as much as i am against war and

> killing - this one is for the world - this war is to prevent or try to

> prevent a much larger holocaust than the world suffered in ww2.

> so...

 

I don't see how this fight against Hezbollah has anything to do with saving

the world. Hezbollah has never in it's history attacked America, nor were

there any indications that they were going to. They are interested in

fighting Israelis for Lebanon...that's it.

 

The fact that the name Hezbollah was not mentioned in this post and the fact

that the enemy is characterized as " muslims " suggests to me that Fran views

this as a conflict against muslims...Jews vs Muslims. Good vs Evil.

 

This attitude is seen on BOTH sides of the conflict and is a major barrier

to adpoting a lasting peace.

 

What about the fact that civilians are suffering on BOTH sides of the

conflict? What Fran is describing that is happening in Israel is happening

MANY times over in Lebanon...

 

As of today, 109 civilians have been killed in Israel but 763 civilians have

been killed in Lebanon.

 

Yes we all accept that there has to be some " collateral damage " in war, but

when a terrorist is suspected to be living in a building and the air force

carpet bombs the whole block, I can't help but think that there might be a

better way of handling the situation.

 

Most of the world agrees that they way terrorists fight, by targeting

innocent civilians, is a despicable way to fight. But how is potentially

killing a whole block of people for one suspected terrorist any different?

 

The international community doesn't think it is any different and has been

calling on Israel to stop its offensive...but the United States (or more

specifically, the Bush Administration) seems to think its OK.

 

I'm not trying to place blame here, or to say who's right or wrong. I

really don't know and I don't think I'm qualified to judge. I don't live in

Israel or Lebanon and I'm not from that cultural heritage. I'm just giving

my view based on the facts I have available.

 

I think in the long run this conflict will do more harm than good. From the

look of things, Hezbollah has not been weakened militarily. In fact it

might be strengthened through the sympathy it has gained from formerly

moderate Lebanese citizens who have now become more radical. There have

also been speculations about a possible cooperation with Al-Queda. Where

before they were fighting EACH OTHER, this war may have given Hezbollah more

clout in fighting " infidels " and make it a possible ally.

 

In the end, there can be no peace as long as hate and fear rule the minds of

the people. But then again who can blame them when rockets and bombs rain

down indiscriminately, killing friends, neighbors, and children.

 

Yet it is here where Fran's (and others like her) healing work will help.

If you can help erase Fear from people's minds, perhaps you can form the

base of a lasting peace. As Doc once said, " Fear leads to Anger leads to

Hate... " And without hate in the hearts of the citizens, the mideast

conflict cannot last.

 

- M