Fear of Approach Women

[Guest guest]

Hello Energy Healers!

 

This is long so bare with me, I could really use some help from you.

 

A HIGHLY PERSONAL PROCESS...

So I'm going to share something and ask for some help about a process

that's been highly personal for me over the last year. I'm involved

in what is known as " pickup arts " for lack of a better term. There

are many different stages of learning to the pickup arts, but what I

am addressing here is in regards to approaching women, especially when

you don't yet know them (called a cold approach, like a cold call). A

lot of it is just learning to be social in general, but there

definitely are different things that can be done when it comes to

interacting with women to take it further and faster in a romantic

way, once both are interested. I've taken a few different workshops

with different methods/styles to approach women, strike up

conversation, build a genuine connection, etc. These workshops are

great for starting out and giving you lots of techniques, but most

don't really address what they call " inner game " issues like having

fears of approaching, getting physical quickly, etc. And almost all

of it eventually comes down to personal issues, fears,

self-confidence, self-love, etc. I think that it really is quite a

fascinating area, because it looks at the social programming of both

men and women, and why one has these fears, and how one can become

free of them. And here in America these fears are much more

culturally prevalent. Just go to Brazil and you'll see a whole

different culture around this. Guys are way less afraid!

 

INTROVERT TO EXTROVERT...

So I'd characterize myself as a natural introvert turned extrovert

through lots of work and self-development. I'm no longer just an

introvert by any means. For some reason, I'm not that proud of the

progress that I've made, even though friends that do pickup with me

tell me that I'm good at it, I just won't believe it. The way I feel

always varies and rarely am I 100% confident. What good is all this

if I don't feel the natural confidence in my being? My desire to be

more social and great with women started at 25 and I'm now 31. On my

own, I've had some progress, but in the last year I've had exponential

progress via pickup workshops, inner belief shifts and lots of new

action that I've taken. Somehow, I am not consistently grateful for my

progress, and hardly give myself credit. There must be something

there that I'm not grateful or forgiving about, eh?! I can feel an

emotional, fear-based block that is lodged in my energy system as I'm

writing this right at my heart. Maybe it stems from another core

thought or belief that I have. Maybe that I'm not good enough.

Funny, as I'm typing I'm feeling more proud and less blocked, but I

still feel the block right at my heart as I'm typing this. This must

go much deeper still.

 

HUNA IS WORKING IN OTHER AREAS OF MY LIFE...

I use Huna already for picturing other goals in my life and it really

is working, like for my music career, my own physical healing, even in

regards to what a specific woman that I want will look like, her

energy, etc. But with this area in regards to women, I'm having a

tough time. I have no shortage of dates, phone numbers, etc, but I

still often have this fear of approaching. Here in NYC, sometimes it

is overwhelming the amount of women that I want to approach, and the

fear is great, and often times I do not approach a woman though I

really want to, even when I get great " buying signs " from her. It is

amazing how many guys are out there that want to approach women but

are not willing to face their fears about themselves in regards to

this. I was once one of those guys. Now I am facing them all. Or

perhaps I'm focusing on them too much. Hmmmm.

 

WHAT I WANT...

So lately I've been going out at night with friends who are also into

pickup and it is fun doing it with them. But what I really want to do

is to approach women when I'm by myself, especially in the daytime,

say when I am on the subway going to work, or out shopping by myself,

or even out with other friends who don't do pickup. I have many of

the techniques down, and I clearly see that it is my own fear, my own

self that gets in the way. I have approached many, many women in the

daytime in the past summer going out with other pickup friends, and

occasionally on my own. I have probably approached by now, hundreds

or women since I started last Feb of 2005. Which is quite amazing,

seeing that before I found this, I only cold approached a few in my

life before that.

 

Most guys that do pickup arts, always have this fear of approaching.

And they deal with it, but they always have it at some point it is

never just gone, they always have to get warmed up. But I don't want

that. I want it gone. Dissolved. There are a select few guys out

there in the pickup community that are truly don't have this fear.

They tend to be guys who are already hypnotists and/or have done lots

of spiritual and personal development as well. I have been to two

hypnotists, and done lots of visualization in regards to this, EFT,

etc and I find that the fear of approaching is still really strong.

 

AND FINALLY THE QUESTION...

Since Huna is about easy and effortless will, I believe it can resolve

this if I do it correctly via Huna. So how can I use Huna to dissolve

this fear of approaching women (aka approach anxiety)? What do I

visualize? Do I visualize approaching women in all different

situations and it going well? Or is it something about me deeper that

I am not seeing, like I'm seeking validation and good reactions or

outcomes from interacting with women. Most of the time when I do a

visualization in regards to this, I seem to get confused, and the

process gets really difficult, lots of fears of it going wrong. This

has been a tough one for me, and I'd love to resolve it.

 

Thank you for your patience and time in advance to those who have read

this!

 

Love and respect to all,

David