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manifesting results

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It seems everytime I get close to getting what I want,

it leaps out of my hand...eg. the person on the phone

agrees and then someone else says no.... the boss

knows the supervisor is singling me out--but won't

help me... then I beg and when nothing

happens--everyone stands on their point even though it

is not logical...

 

I tell myself it is never going to happen....and when

I look in the mirror--I hear myself saying " you're so

fat, ...so ugly....who would want to marry you...etc.

" and then I am hurt because of the breakup...all

these voices are involuntary....they come up from

nowhere....it seems

 

whatever I can say to belittle myself...beat myself

up-punish myself...where does this need originate from

and how can I stop it....why do I torture

myself....--and then I am worse than when I

started...so I try harder to go to level/program---

 

And when I am at level, I am so exhausted, I fall asleep....

 

 

 

 

 

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