Guest guest Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 try spinning the fear the other way, that should work. I saw this on a video of Bandler. It wasnt fear of approaching women tho, but fear is the same, isnt it. , " ddhamilt " <davidhamilton7 wrote: > > Hello Energy Healers! > > This is long so bare with me, I could really use some help from you. > > A HIGHLY PERSONAL PROCESS... > So I'm going to share something and ask for some help about a process > that's been highly personal for me over the last year. I'm involved > in what is known as " pickup arts " for lack of a better term. There > are many different stages of learning to the pickup arts, but what I > am addressing here is in regards to approaching women, especially when > you don't yet know them (called a cold approach, like a cold call). A > lot of it is just learning to be social in general, but there > definitely are different things that can be done when it comes to > interacting with women to take it further and faster in a romantic > way, once both are interested. I've taken a few different workshops > with different methods/styles to approach women, strike up > conversation, build a genuine connection, etc. These workshops are > great for starting out and giving you lots of techniques, but most > don't really address what they call " inner game " issues like having > fears of approaching, getting physical quickly, etc. And almost all > of it eventually comes down to personal issues, fears, > self-confidence, self-love, etc. I think that it really is quite a > fascinating area, because it looks at the social programming of both > men and women, and why one has these fears, and how one can become > free of them. And here in America these fears are much more > culturally prevalent. Just go to Brazil and you'll see a whole > different culture around this. Guys are way less afraid! > > INTROVERT TO EXTROVERT... > So I'd characterize myself as a natural introvert turned extrovert > through lots of work and self-development. I'm no longer just an > introvert by any means. For some reason, I'm not that proud of the > progress that I've made, even though friends that do pickup with me > tell me that I'm good at it, I just won't believe it. The way I feel > always varies and rarely am I 100% confident. What good is all this > if I don't feel the natural confidence in my being? My desire to be > more social and great with women started at 25 and I'm now 31. On my > own, I've had some progress, but in the last year I've had exponential > progress via pickup workshops, inner belief shifts and lots of new > action that I've taken. Somehow, I am not consistently grateful for my > progress, and hardly give myself credit. There must be something > there that I'm not grateful or forgiving about, eh?! I can feel an > emotional, fear-based block that is lodged in my energy system as I'm > writing this right at my heart. Maybe it stems from another core > thought or belief that I have. Maybe that I'm not good enough. > Funny, as I'm typing I'm feeling more proud and less blocked, but I > still feel the block right at my heart as I'm typing this. This must > go much deeper still. > > HUNA IS WORKING IN OTHER AREAS OF MY LIFE... > I use Huna already for picturing other goals in my life and it really > is working, like for my music career, my own physical healing, even in > regards to what a specific woman that I want will look like, her > energy, etc. But with this area in regards to women, I'm having a > tough time. I have no shortage of dates, phone numbers, etc, but I > still often have this fear of approaching. Here in NYC, sometimes it > is overwhelming the amount of women that I want to approach, and the > fear is great, and often times I do not approach a woman though I > really want to, even when I get great " buying signs " from her. It is > amazing how many guys are out there that want to approach women but > are not willing to face their fears about themselves in regards to > this. I was once one of those guys. Now I am facing them all. Or > perhaps I'm focusing on them too much. Hmmmm. > > WHAT I WANT... > So lately I've been going out at night with friends who are also into > pickup and it is fun doing it with them. But what I really want to do > is to approach women when I'm by myself, especially in the daytime, > say when I am on the subway going to work, or out shopping by myself, > or even out with other friends who don't do pickup. I have many of > the techniques down, and I clearly see that it is my own fear, my own > self that gets in the way. I have approached many, many women in the > daytime in the past summer going out with other pickup friends, and > occasionally on my own. I have probably approached by now, hundreds > or women since I started last Feb of 2005. Which is quite amazing, > seeing that before I found this, I only cold approached a few in my > life before that. > > Most guys that do pickup arts, always have this fear of approaching. > And they deal with it, but they always have it at some point it is > never just gone, they always have to get warmed up. But I don't want > that. I want it gone. Dissolved. There are a select few guys out > there in the pickup community that are truly don't have this fear. > They tend to be guys who are already hypnotists and/or have done lots > of spiritual and personal development as well. I have been to two > hypnotists, and done lots of visualization in regards to this, EFT, > etc and I find that the fear of approaching is still really strong. > > AND FINALLY THE QUESTION... > Since Huna is about easy and effortless will, I believe it can resolve > this if I do it correctly via Huna. So how can I use Huna to dissolve > this fear of approaching women (aka approach anxiety)? What do I > visualize? Do I visualize approaching women in all different > situations and it going well? Or is it something about me deeper that > I am not seeing, like I'm seeking validation and good reactions or > outcomes from interacting with women. Most of the time when I do a > visualization in regards to this, I seem to get confused, and the > process gets really difficult, lots of fears of it going wrong. This > has been a tough one for me, and I'd love to resolve it. > > Thank you for your patience and time in advance to those who have read > this! > > Love and respect to all, > David > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 5, 2007 Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 Usually, the fear to approach women may be caused by any or combination of the following : 1. Don't know what to say 2. Afraid of being rejected 3. Afraid of saying the wrong thing 4. Trauma from past experience 5. Low self esteem There might be some more reason that I don't know or forgot. Nonetheless, I would suggest the following: 1. For hurt, scar, trauma from pass experience -- Use EFT or Inner Demon Destroyer (IDD) to blow away your project. Visit www.emofree.com on how to do EFT. For IDD, visit http://www.mentaltrainingsecrets.com/KahunaProducts.html. 2. Afraid of being rejected, saying wrong thing, don't know what to say -- You will gain confidence in meeting women, and other strangers, if you know how to create instant rapport with other people, regardless of sex, age and race, and also to fully understand and realize that there are times when some people just can never be your friend, or there are people whom you'd rather stay away from. To learn how to create instant rapport, consider the following courses. 1. Secrets of the Friendly Energies DVD, http://www.mentaltrainingsecrets.com/Friendly_Energies_Seduction_Persu asion.html. This DVD teaches you not only the NLP approach to creating rapport, but also how to connect with other people on energy basis. 2. How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less by Nicholas Boothman. This 180 page book gives you simple techniques on creating rapport with people in 90 seconds by identifying what time of people they are, and how to talk to them. Good information for starters. 3. Frogs to Princes by Bandler and Grinder. A must read for people who want to learn better, effective human communication, linguistics, perception, cognition and psychology. You can also dig into the archives in this group. You will find tons of helpful information, and even answers to your questions. Just my 2 cents. Be well, Wilson , " ddhamilt " <davidhamilton7 wrote: > > Hello Energy Healers! > > This is long so bare with me, I could really use some help from you. > > A HIGHLY PERSONAL PROCESS... > So I'm going to share something and ask for some help about a process > that's been highly personal for me over the last year. I'm involved > in what is known as " pickup arts " for lack of a better term. There > are many different stages of learning to the pickup arts, but what I > am addressing here is in regards to approaching women, especially when > you don't yet know them (called a cold approach, like a cold call). A > lot of it is just learning to be social in general, but there > definitely are different things that can be done when it comes to > interacting with women to take it further and faster in a romantic > way, once both are interested. I've taken a few different workshops > with different methods/styles to approach women, strike up > conversation, build a genuine connection, etc. These workshops are > great for starting out and giving you lots of techniques, but most > don't really address what they call " inner game " issues like having > fears of approaching, getting physical quickly, etc. And almost all > of it eventually comes down to personal issues, fears, > self-confidence, self-love, etc. I think that it really is quite a > fascinating area, because it looks at the social programming of both > men and women, and why one has these fears, and how one can become > free of them. And here in America these fears are much more > culturally prevalent. Just go to Brazil and you'll see a whole > different culture around this. Guys are way less afraid! > > INTROVERT TO EXTROVERT... > So I'd characterize myself as a natural introvert turned extrovert > through lots of work and self-development. I'm no longer just an > introvert by any means. For some reason, I'm not that proud of the > progress that I've made, even though friends that do pickup with me > tell me that I'm good at it, I just won't believe it. The way I feel > always varies and rarely am I 100% confident. What good is all this > if I don't feel the natural confidence in my being? My desire to be > more social and great with women started at 25 and I'm now 31. On my > own, I've had some progress, but in the last year I've had exponential > progress via pickup workshops, inner belief shifts and lots of new > action that I've taken. Somehow, I am not consistently grateful for my > progress, and hardly give myself credit. There must be something > there that I'm not grateful or forgiving about, eh?! I can feel an > emotional, fear-based block that is lodged in my energy system as I'm > writing this right at my heart. Maybe it stems from another core > thought or belief that I have. Maybe that I'm not good enough. > Funny, as I'm typing I'm feeling more proud and less blocked, but I > still feel the block right at my heart as I'm typing this. This must > go much deeper still. > > HUNA IS WORKING IN OTHER AREAS OF MY LIFE... > I use Huna already for picturing other goals in my life and it really > is working, like for my music career, my own physical healing, even in > regards to what a specific woman that I want will look like, her > energy, etc. But with this area in regards to women, I'm having a > tough time. I have no shortage of dates, phone numbers, etc, but I > still often have this fear of approaching. Here in NYC, sometimes it > is overwhelming the amount of women that I want to approach, and the > fear is great, and often times I do not approach a woman though I > really want to, even when I get great " buying signs " from her. It is > amazing how many guys are out there that want to approach women but > are not willing to face their fears about themselves in regards to > this. I was once one of those guys. Now I am facing them all. Or > perhaps I'm focusing on them too much. Hmmmm. > > WHAT I WANT... > So lately I've been going out at night with friends who are also into > pickup and it is fun doing it with them. But what I really want to do > is to approach women when I'm by myself, especially in the daytime, > say when I am on the subway going to work, or out shopping by myself, > or even out with other friends who don't do pickup. I have many of > the techniques down, and I clearly see that it is my own fear, my own > self that gets in the way. I have approached many, many women in the > daytime in the past summer going out with other pickup friends, and > occasionally on my own. I have probably approached by now, hundreds > or women since I started last Feb of 2005. Which is quite amazing, > seeing that before I found this, I only cold approached a few in my > life before that. > > Most guys that do pickup arts, always have this fear of approaching. > And they deal with it, but they always have it at some point it is > never just gone, they always have to get warmed up. But I don't want > that. I want it gone. Dissolved. There are a select few guys out > there in the pickup community that are truly don't have this fear. > They tend to be guys who are already hypnotists and/or have done lots > of spiritual and personal development as well. I have been to two > hypnotists, and done lots of visualization in regards to this, EFT, > etc and I find that the fear of approaching is still really strong. > > AND FINALLY THE QUESTION... > Since Huna is about easy and effortless will, I believe it can resolve > this if I do it correctly via Huna. So how can I use Huna to dissolve > this fear of approaching women (aka approach anxiety)? What do I > visualize? Do I visualize approaching women in all different > situations and it going well? Or is it something about me deeper that > I am not seeing, like I'm seeking validation and good reactions or > outcomes from interacting with women. Most of the time when I do a > visualization in regards to this, I seem to get confused, and the > process gets really difficult, lots of fears of it going wrong. This > has been a tough one for me, and I'd love to resolve it. > > Thank you for your patience and time in advance to those who have read > this! > > Love and respect to all, > David > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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