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Fwd: Grief processes

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creative_energies , " Yael Haran " <harans@z...>

wrote:

Although I appreciate John's posts on positive thinking - and all

the accumulated wisdom cited and uncited by him about the health-

bringing advantage of good attitude and optimism, I disagree deeply

on the issue of grief and bereavement.

 

When a loved one dies - you can not " turn off " the grief that comes

forward and avoid suffering. You can indeed, adhere to a postive,

optimistic attitude, which is the foundation on which we accept the

feelings of loss, anger, sadness and finally love.

 

There is a grief process involving certain tasks which is quite

similar to the death process. Those tasks need to be done in order

for

us to move forward.

 

The first task is acceptance - which included acceptance of all the

negative emotions that come forward. What John described in his

previous post sounded a little more like denial.

 

When someone close dies, they are dead to us. Completely. We cannot

hug them, see them, smell them, kick them. Our physical

emotional interaction with them is closed. They leave our social

structure and they leave a gap. To grieve their loss is to honor

them. All cultures have grief rituals - in one way or another.

Actually, most cultures are far more observant of grief processes as

a society than America.

 

Sorry to take the glory out of the positivity rocket. Death is a

great definer and a profound educater. Many wise men have advised us

to spend some time contemplating our mortality. This is not to be

morbid. It is to make the light of our life in the physical

dimension shine brighter still.

 

Warmly

 

Yael

--- End forwarded message ---

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