: Our gift to Iraq (depleted uranium)

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FromOur gift to Iraq (depleted uranium)

 

 

> Our gift to Iraq (depleted uranium)

>

>

> >

> > The final paragraph is equally applicable to Mssrs. Bush and

> > Rumsfeld: " for those who are still troubled, here are Tony Blair's

three

> > DU safety rules: 1) Minimise exposure - get troops and innocent

civilians

> > to deal with the shit for you. 2) Maximise distance - stay far away from

> > combat zones. 3) Use shielding - place maximum spin between you and any

> > contamination source. Follow these rules and you too can be happy,

healthy

> > and worry-free. "

> >

> > Our gift to Iraq

> >

> > AL Kennedy

> > Thursday July 10, 2003

> > <http://www.guardian.co.uk>The Guardian

> >

> > Due to the dreadfully unpatriotic behaviour of Robin Cook and the BBC,

> many

> > of you are now experiencing what we might call worry.

> >

> > You're mumbling anxious nonsense like, " Surely, it was obvious that

Iraq's

> > new democratically poisonous water supplies, freedom-loving

house-to-house

> > searches, its sexy, western-style press censorship and friendly, illegal

> > interrogations might not entirely please Iraqis. "

> >

> > Why, I'll bet you're allowing phrases like " playing Russian roulette

with

> > other people's lives " and " blood-soaked, greedy, Westminster scum " to

> creep

> > into otherwise respectable conversations. You may even worry that > > Blair has misplaced his soul. But worries cause disease. So to keep us

all

> > happy and healthy, let's focus on the one real feelgood factor left in

> Iraq

> > - depleted uranium.

> >

> > That it is left all over Iraq just shows how much we care, because DU is

> > gorgeous stuff - gorgeous uranium-238 with a dash of gorgeous

uranium-235.

> > It's cheap, if you're subsidising nuclear power to the hilt, and frankly

> we

> > have whole slag heaps of it to dump. It's almost twice as heavy as lead,

> so

> > it's great for armour plating, radiation shielding, ballast in missiles

> and

> > aircraft counterweights.

> >

> > It's splendid for shells and - better yet - it's pyrophoric. Which is to

> > say, if you bang it into anything, it produces blasting amounts of heat.

> >

> > War, naturally, involves many things banging into each other. If we're

not

> > wasting our own troops by mistake, there's always enemy action to

> consider,

> > plus accidents and malfunctions - it's not all shiny flightsuits and

> > blasphemous profiteering: combat has it's dark side, too.

> >

> > A few of you have heard that DU is toxic and radioactive, and maybe

you're

> > fretting about that. With so many vehicles containing DU and so much DU

> > ammunition rattling about and the possibilities of violence being fairly

> > high, DU could be released into the environment and come into contact

with

> > people, even British people.

> >

> > And I won't lie to you, there is a tiny chance that the tons of DU fired

> at

> > and in Iraq may also have landed there. And some of it may have been

> > slightly damaged on impact. But that's no cause for concern, because

> > measures are in place to deal absolutely effectively with every possible

> > scenario.

> >

> > First, to prevent heavy metal poisoning from DU, we recommend that all

> > personnel in a vehicle hit by DU, or in a vehicle made of DU and hit by

> > something else, or in a vehicle hit by anything and contain ing DU

> > ammunition or parts, should aim to be somewhere else during impact. If

> this

> > proves impossible, DU should not be inhaled, allowed into open wounds or

> > swallowed. Given that personnel do not always wear respiratory equipment

> > and protective suits (because they're hot and may not work), we advise

> > holding their breath until operations are concluded.

> >

> > Personnel should avoid being wounded and, above all, should avoid being

> > wounded near DU dust or DU shrapnel. If they are wounded by DU, they

> should

> > cover wounds with duct tape, to prevent contaminating others. They

should

> > also refrain from eating shrapnel, licking dust, licking each other, or

> > having meals without washing their hands. They should avoid going to the

> > toilet for the duration.

> >

> > Second, to prevent radiation poisoning, personnel should be informed

that

> > DU produces mainly alpha particles. These are a good type of particle

> > because they can barely penetrate paper, never mind skin. Of course,

> > they're the worst possible kind to have under your skin, but the

> > recommended precautions will prevent this. If they do end up in your

body,

> > cover yourself in duct tape and fill in the form that the medic will

give

> > you at the end of his forked stick.

> >

> > The best way to avoid contamination is to keep away from battlefields,

> sand

> > dunes where other personnel have been decontaminated and any damaged

> > vehicles, buildings, craters and corpses. If you suspect that an area

has

> > been hit by DU, look for tell-tale black uranium oxide dust, melted

> > uranium, melted entry and exit holes, and radioactive shrapnel.

> >

> > If you find DU to be present, hold your breath, eat nothing, shut your

> eyes

> > and wash immediately in sterile water for not less than one hour. Then

> fill

> > in another form.

> >

> > By employing these simple procedures, British personnel can keep

> themselves

> > almost healthy, at least until they get home. Iraqis exposed to DU will

> > already be home, so that's one weight off their minds. But for those who

> > are still troubled, here are Tony Blair's three DU safety rules: 1)

> > Minimise exposure - get troops and innocent civilians to deal with the

> shit

> > for you. 2) Maximise distance - stay far away from combat zones. 3) Use

> > shielding - place maximum spin between you and any contamination source.

> > Follow these rules and you too can be happy, healthy and worry-free.

> >

> > <commentcomment

> > http://www.guardian.co.uk/Iraq/Story/0,2763,994980,00.html

> >

> >

> >

>