Guest guest Posted April 26, 2007 Report Share Posted April 26, 2007 Joke-of-the-Day <Joke-of-the-Day wrote: Sun, 22 Apr 2007 03:24:02 -0500"Joke-of-the-Day" <Joke-of-the-Day"kelly" <kellykebbyThings You Shouldn't Ask Your Mother... The World's Largest Daily Joke Network Quote of the Day Sunday, April 22, 2007 "Turn the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles."-Frank Lloyd Wright Interested? Click Here! Jokemaster's Note Dog Of The Week Meet Abby, our latest Dog of the Week, dressed pretty in pink! Please submit your favorite inspirational stories, quotes, or pieces to RexBarker This is Rex Barker, with "ADVICE FOR LIFE – Part 1," from Karen of Lancaster, PA. See Part 2 on Tuesday. Email us your best stuff – and become published to millions on Joke-Of-The-Day... * Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant. * Live with the 3 E's: Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy. * Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6. * Dream more while you are awake. * Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are manufactured in plants. * Try to make at least 3 people smile each day. * Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk, and let new and flowing energy into your life. * Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, issues of the past, negative thoughts, or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment. * Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum , but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime. * Life isn't fair, but it's still good. * Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. * Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. * You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. * Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. * Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. This is Rex Barker, asking you to SEND US in your lessons that you have learned in life. Please put LESSON in the subject line. Your last name will not be used, unless you give us permission in your email. We get hundreds, but all are read! Note: Our Registration Page is up and running! Please tell your friends and have them sign up! RESPOND: RexBarker NOTE: To manage your account, see below. Please do not email Rex account issues. Want to Learn More? Find Out Here! Today's Joke Got a funny joke for us? Send it in to SendJokes... Things You Shouldn't Ask Your Mother... Seven year old Susie approached her mother one morning and asked, "Mommie how old are you?" To which her mother responded, "Now Susie, that is not a question you should ask a woman." Susie then replied, "Well, how much do you weigh?" Once again her mother said, "Susie that is another question you never ask a woman." Perplexed, Susie was sitting on the steps when her best friend eight year old Anna came by. "Why so sad?" Anna asked. Susie replied, "I asked my mother how old she was, and how much she weighed, but she wouldn't tell me." Immediately, the ever worldly Anna put her hands on her hips, lilted to one side and advised Susie to get her mother's drivers license out of her purse and she could get all the answers. Triumphantly, Susie marched into the kitchen where her mother was preparing dinner and announced, "I saw your driver's license, and know you are 35 years old." She continued with, "And I know you weigh 135 pounds." Susie's mother sighed and admitted to her age and weight. Finally Susie exclaimed, "And...I know why you and Daddy got a divorce." Puzzled by this remark her mother asked, "How do you know this?" Susie waved the license in the air, and replied: "It says right here you got an "F" in sex!!" Note: Our Registration Page is up and running! Please tell your friends and have them sign up! Pic of the Day Brings a whole new meaning to, "camping with the guys..." Find Out More And Take a Look! Can't see the picture? .. Give the Gift of Laughter! Send this e-mail to a friend! Enjoyed our Newsletter? Forward it to a Friend/Co-worker! Want More Laughs? Was This Forwarded To You? JOIN Joke-Of-The-Day TODAY Manage Your Joke-Of-The-Day Account: To Join: Go to http://www.joke-of-the-day.comTo Leave: To Change Email: Currently being revisedSubmit Jokes or Pics SendJokesTo Advertise: AdsOther: CustomerService Although the Company does its best to ensure accuracy and integrity of its commercial sponsors, The Humor Lab is not responsible for the performance of these companies. To no longer receive communications from The Humor Lab, Please let us know or write us at The Humor Lab, 555 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10017. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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