OCD (sorry about last)

[Guest guest]

Mary Ann,

When I obsess, it is like I am not in control of my mind..

sometimes I think that I force myself to think and do things just to

upset me.. did that make any sense?? I have been obsessive

compulsive for as long as I can remember.. even when I was a toddler

I had compulsions.. the doctor told my mother once that it was just

a phase.. but it wasn't.. since I can't control my thoughts during

my worst moments, I turn to someone that I trust, and no matter how

hard it is to talk about my issues and feelings, it really helps for

me to see it through the eyes of someone who is not sick.. you are

lucky to have a supportive husband, because it is not an easy

situation that you two are dealing with.. I also noticed that when I

went through a very spiritual time in my life, my OCD was not as

bad.. perhaps because I was believing in something stronger than

myself... or because I was able to let go and just see " what

happened " ... sorry for the long post, I hope some of what I said

made some sense..

Jaylee~

 

, " maoflanagan

<maoflanagan@m...> " <maoflanagan@m...> wrote:

>

> That's very interesting. I have noticed the same thing.

>

> Mary Ann

>

>

> > when I start obsessing and being anxious, it is usually my body

> > telling me that I need to sleep...

> > Jaylee~

[Guest guest]

> I had that one for a long time and eventually it shifted to germ

fears. It

> was clear glass specifically. I would not drink out of a class cup

or eat

> off of glass plates (made going out to restaurants *very*

difficult) or

> touch windows of any kind. If someone broke glass in my presence I

could

> not breathe for fear of inhaling shards. It's a tough one!

>

Veronica,

I know exactly what you mean! I was afraid of ingesting broken

glass, or being cut by it, and getting hurt.. I was afraid I would

die from it.. it was horrible.. Once I knew a glass had been broken

somewhere, no matter how well someone cleaned it up, that area was

always contaminated.. the glass was always there.. and I also

thought that it was on my clothes, and in my bed.. I had a horrible

problem doing laundry.. I would wash and rewash things all night

long.. and then, of course, I thought that the shards of glass were

in the washing machine, and would contaminate other clothing and bed

linens, etc.. it was a cycle.. I was gripped by fear when a glass

was broken in my presence... it took a long time to get over that..

and when the day came that I broke a glass, and actually cleaned it

up myself, I was amazed at how far I'd come.. I still don't like

broken glass, but my fear does not control me the way it used to..

now I have moved on to fearing public restrooms.. I examine one

throughly before I can use it.. which is hard for me, since I go to

college, and work, so I am not home a lot, and have to use a public

bathroom several times a day... and when people do not wash their

hands before they walk out of a bathroom makes me afraid to touch the

door handle.. I wash my hands a ~lot~ after using the bathroom, over

and over again... a couple of times just lately I have actually

waited for another person to leave so that I could walk out behind

them to pervent myself from having to touch the " contaiminated " door

handle, after seeing someone walk out without washing their hands..

that and the fact that the bathrooms at my work seem to be disgusting

in general.. I can't imagine how women could be so disgusting and

leave a bathroom the way that they do.. but I am rambling now..

Jaylee~

[Guest guest]

Ta-daaaa!

 

On Wed, 08 Jan 2003 06:45:34 -0000 "jewelfan78 <wintersbutterfly" <wintersbutterfly writes:

 

Mary Ann, When I obsess, it is like I am not in control of my mind.. sometimes I think that I force myself to think and do things just to upset me.. did that make any sense?? I have been obsessive compulsive for as long as I can remember.. even when I was a toddler I had compulsions.. the doctor told my mother once that it was just a phase.. but it wasn't.. since I can't control my thoughts during my worst moments, I turn to someone that I trust, and no matter how hard it is to talk about my issues and feelings, it really helps for me to see it through the eyes of someone who is not sick.. you are lucky to have a supportive husband, because it is not an easy situation that you two are dealing with.. I also noticed that when I went through a very spiritual time in my life, my OCD was not as bad.. perhaps because I was believing in something stronger than myself... or because I was able to let go and just see "what happened"... sorry for the long post, I hope some of what I said made some sense..Jaylee~

[Guest guest]

Jaylee,

 

I do not have OCD, but I have struggled with perfectionist tendencies

most of my life. I don't know if anyone else will get anything from

this, but thought I'd share in case it would give someone else any

insight.

 

I really became aware of the negative impact my perfectionism was

having on my family and co-workers when I was 26. I was at a seminar

and while I don't remember specfically what the speaker said, it was

as if I had been blinded by a bright light. I turned to my co-worker

next to me and said " Oh my God, I do that to you guys and it drives

you crazy, doesn't it? " . I started crying, more from relief I think

than despair.

 

So, in the ensuing years, I've just been watchful of my behaviour,

particularly in situations that I know tend to trigger these

tendencies.

 

Then, a couple of months ago, I had another epiphany about this. I

was watching Dr. Phil. He was talking to a young woman that was very

critical of almost everything and everyone she dealt with. You could

tell she was very tense and wanted to transcend this. He told her

that perfectionism is basically a distrust of yourself. This blew me

away because I've always thought I had pretty good self-esteem and

self-trust. He went on to say that she wanted everything to

be " perfect' because she didn't trust that she could handle life if

it wasn't perfect.

 

This makes so much sense to me! I know at an intellectual level that

perfect doesn't exist in the physical world. I was just too afraid to

admit to myself, my inner self, that life would never be perfect -

none of it. Once I could truly admit this, I knew I had to focus on

building my trust - of myself, of my fellow humans, of the universe

and its laws.

 

I am much happier and calmer since I made this shift. I now know that

a lot of the " stuff " that I felt I had to fix or that I was

responsible for was just my imagination. I made it all up!

 

 

Suzanne

www.practical-health.com

 

> Mary Ann,

> When I obsess, it is like I am not in control of my mind..

> sometimes I think that I force myself to think and do things just

to

> upset me.. did that make any sense?? I have been obsessive

> compulsive for as long as I can remember.. even when I was a

toddler

> I had compulsions.. the doctor told my mother once that it was

just

> a phase.. but it wasn't.. since I can't control my thoughts

during

> my worst moments, I turn to someone that I trust, and no matter how

> hard it is to talk about my issues and feelings, it really helps

for

> me to see it through the eyes of someone who is not sick.. you are

> lucky to have a supportive husband, because it is not an easy

> situation that you two are dealing with.. I also noticed that when

I

> went through a very spiritual time in my life, my OCD was not as

> bad.. perhaps because I was believing in something stronger than

> myself... or because I was able to let go and just see " what

> happened " ... sorry for the long post, I hope some of what I said

> made some sense..

> Jaylee~