TMJ advice

March 20, 2002

Thank you all for your help, I will try the remedies.

Unfortunately, I know why I am stressed, so evaluating my situation

will not help me, as I am not in control of it and can do nothing

about it. I know, you are going to say that is impossible, but if I

can bend your ear for just a moment, you will see why it is not.

I married two years ago and moved halfway across the country. Since

this time, I've had two children, who are 23 months and 9 months. I

am the only caregiver they have (their father doesn't, and won't help

except for small periods of time--though we do live together). I am

a SAHM, so I spend all day, every day, cooped up inside with two very

small children. My youngest son has had a myriad of minor health

problems that leave him generally unhappy.

We live in an awful neighborhood, so I can't go outside and enjoy

fresh air, or take the boys outside--we have no yard, nor private

area to sit in. I have no friends here because I can never go

anywhere (outside taking my youngest son to his phsyical therapy

appointments).

My husband had a very good job when we married and all this began;

then his company merged with another, and he lost his job when they

cleared out management to bring in their own. He finally got back up

to a great position with another resort company, then lost that job

after 9/11. He has been out of work since. Because of this, we are

going to have to move from Nevada to Florida, where he is from.

In 1994, my then-fiancee (relationship of 3 yrs) was brutally

murdered not 40 miles from the town in which we will be moving to in

Florida, so you can see that it isn't my favorite place to be. My

husband has a job lined up there already, and will be going to pick

out our house in a few weeks.

I can't move back to Illinois where I am from, because my family

cannot afford to move me, I cannot afford to move myself, and I don't

feel that any of this is reason to dissolve my otherwise happy

marriage. I don't mind being the only caregiver for the boys 85% of

the time; it's just that it wears on me badly when they are both

cranky. Now that the youngest is teething, and the oldest has hit

the terrible two's, this happens more frequently than it did.

At this time, we cannot afford help with the children, we have no

family nearby, and I don't have time for a hobby other than working

on my online discussion groups, or reading. Even these two things

get interrupted frequently by the boys waking from their naps.

I am a resilient person, I can handle this. . .but I do hold tension

inside no matter how much I talk about it; I grind my teeth in my

sleep because of it--and the jaw clinching and grinding is what

causes my TMJ.

Once we get settled into our new place, and I get used to the fact

that I have to live there, things will smooth out to normal, and I

won't be complaining anymore, LOL.

Blessings to all, and thank you again for your help!

Ahreinya

March 20, 2002

I know I mentioned this before, but having the same nighttime

grinding, clenching problem as you -

DO do the stretching before you go to sleep - opening the mouth wide

and stretching, slowly closing, repeat....for as many times until you

can feel the difference - whether it's 5x or 25x.

Also, buy a mouthguard to use. They have more expensive ones

available, but for $$ you can go to Wal-Mart or something and buy the

kind in the sporting section that parents buy for their kids; less

than $1 usually. And follow directions for it and use it at bedtime

to help.

Hope things work out, I'm sure they will. Having 3 sons, one now

about 17, and twin boys now 13 I can identify with the stress they

can bring at young ages. Heck, even as teenagers!

Chris in NC

, " ladycygnus3 " <ladycygnus3>

wrote:

> Thank you all for your help, I will try the remedies.

>

> Unfortunately, I know why I am stressed, so evaluating my situation

> will not help me, as I am not in control of it and can do nothing

> about it. I know, you are going to say that is impossible, but if

I

> can bend your ear for just a moment, you will see why it is not.

>

> I married two years ago and moved halfway across the country.

Since

> this time, I've had two children, who are 23 months and 9 months.

I

> am the only caregiver they have (their father doesn't, and won't

help

> except for small periods of time--though we do live together). I

am

> a SAHM, so I spend all day, every day, cooped up inside with two

very

> small children. My youngest son has had a myriad of minor health

> problems that leave him generally unhappy.

>

> We live in an awful neighborhood, so I can't go outside and enjoy

> fresh air, or take the boys outside--we have no yard, nor private

> area to sit in. I have no friends here because I can never go

> anywhere (outside taking my youngest son to his phsyical therapy

> appointments).

>

> My husband had a very good job when we married and all this began;

> then his company merged with another, and he lost his job when they

> cleared out management to bring in their own. He finally got back

up

> to a great position with another resort company, then lost that job

> after 9/11. He has been out of work since. Because of this, we

are

> going to have to move from Nevada to Florida, where he is from.

>

> In 1994, my then-fiancee (relationship of 3 yrs) was brutally

> murdered not 40 miles from the town in which we will be moving to

in

> Florida, so you can see that it isn't my favorite place to be. My

> husband has a job lined up there already, and will be going to pick

> out our house in a few weeks.

>

> I can't move back to Illinois where I am from, because my family

> cannot afford to move me, I cannot afford to move myself, and I

don't

> feel that any of this is reason to dissolve my otherwise happy

> marriage. I don't mind being the only caregiver for the boys 85%

of

> the time; it's just that it wears on me badly when they are both

> cranky. Now that the youngest is teething, and the oldest has hit

> the terrible two's, this happens more frequently than it did.

>

> At this time, we cannot afford help with the children, we have no

> family nearby, and I don't have time for a hobby other than working

> on my online discussion groups, or reading. Even these two things

> get interrupted frequently by the boys waking from their naps.

>

> I am a resilient person, I can handle this. . .but I do hold

tension

> inside no matter how much I talk about it; I grind my teeth in my

> sleep because of it--and the jaw clinching and grinding is what

> causes my TMJ.

>

> Once we get settled into our new place, and I get used to the fact

> that I have to live there, things will smooth out to normal, and I

> won't be complaining anymore, LOL.

>

> Blessings to all, and thank you again for your help!

> Ahreinya

March 21, 2002

I am so sorry for your troubles and that your then fiance was murdered in Florida. How awful that must be for you! It must feel very frightening returning near that area, as well as many bad memories. I am guessing that if you cannot afford child care ( I cant either, most of us cant, so dont feel bad about that ), that you cant afford counseling, but please remember that if you ever need it when you move that there are many free or very cheap facilities with helpful people out there. Also, you may want to take something for your nerves, although opinions about this varies. As for the change, although I know it is so difficult for you, look at it this way: Maybe you need a change in your life. A neighborhood where you and your children can play, a brand new start with friends and activities, and your husband with a new job. It can always get better and it sounds like it already is with her husband getting a new job. I wish you the best and feel free to email me anytime!

Erin