Guest guest Posted June 21, 2008 Report Share Posted June 21, 2008 Manivel Ponnuchamy <manivelp wrote: 64. A SURE-FIRE WAY TO QUICKLY IMPROVE HOW YOU COMMUNICATE The words you choose in communicating with others make big difference in how well you connect with the people in your life. Just a few simple words can either build bridges or build walls. Bridges deep the communication flowing easily and harmoniously. Walls create distance and cause disharmony. Which do you want to build? If you want to live success…. from the inside out, make sure you’re building bridges. How often do you find yourself using these words “should†and “have to?†What effect do they have on the people you’re talking to? Do they seem to shut down, get defensive, or become angry? Do you also use these words with yourself? What happens to you when you find yourself being “shoulded†or “have told?†Let’s say someone says to you, “You should do that.†“You have to get this done thoughts might be, “DON’T tell me what to do.†“No way, buster.†“should “ and “have to†have a feeling of judgment or authority attached to them. They cause a negative reaction. These words build walls. To make them into bridge builders you might say, “Consider trying it this way.†“When do you think you might be able to get this done?†There’s a definite difference in the energy around these words. Can you feel it. It’s these bridge-building words that help to keep the communication flowing in a positive direction. Not long ago, a colleague heard me talk about “shold†and “have to .†She started noticing when these words popped up in conversation. She told me about becoming aware of how she felt when people (especially her husband) spoke to her suing “should†and “have to “. She didn’t like it. And, she realized she was a user of these words too. Needless to say, she has become much more conscious of the words she chooses. Remember, a sure-fire way to quickly improve your all-around communication is to immediately eliminate “should†and “have to†from your language. Become aware of when you use these words with yourself and others. Notice the reactions to them. Be aware of people using these words with you and how you react to them. To create harmonious communication, make sure the words you choose build bridge rather than build walls. Stop “shoulding†and “have to-ing†on yourself and others. Begin building bridges today, and hit delete on “should†and “have to!†Messenger blocked? Want to chat? Here is the solution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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