My Child Has Autism - What Can I Do?

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MY CHILD HAS AUTISM – WHAT CAN I DO? By Dr. Nandita D’ Souza ‘Your child has autism”.... When a parent hears these words it feels as if their world has come crashing down around them. The event of being told that one’s child has a disability is one of

the most devastating experiences for parents. At a time like this and sometimes for many months later, parents feel like it is the end of the world for their child and themselves. They often think that nothing can be done. However it is well known that it is the families of the children, and specially the parents, who can change the course of development and improve the outcomes for children with autism. There are several things that parents can do 1) Parent, Teach Thyself: The most important thing parents of persons with autism can do is to

educate themselves about the disorder and become an advocate for your child and your family. Knowledge is power and sources of information range from books to professionals to other parents to the Internet. When you know about your child’s condition, learn how to train your child and make use of the services available, it gives you a sense of control at a time when hope and faith falter. 2) Parent to Parent: It is also critical to meet other parents of people with autism. Parents are generally the most helpful to other parents. Other parents can

tell you how you can handle certain problems that may arise for your child and your family because often they have experienced it first hand and have tried various strategies, eventually discovering what works and what does not. Join a parent support group – you are not alone. Sometimes, soon after the first diagnosis, parents do not want to contact other families. There are many reasons for this. Some parents compare their own children to other children who may be at the more severe end of the autistic spectrum and get afraid that their own children will get worse. Still others do not want to meet other families as they think “everyone will come to know”. However, isolation worsens the situation and makes you feel alone and unsupported. Other parents can help you learn more about how to cope, find local resources, and sometimes lend a shoulder to lean on. Parents of other children with autism have been in your shoes and can really understand what it

feels like. Families are a child’s greatest support. 3) Think Positive: Parents have feelings too and these are very important. It is not unusual to feel very depressed and hopeless from time to time. However, these feelings do pass too. It is very helpful for you to think about times when you experienced a serious problem or crisis in your past and where you coped successfully. This helps you to identify your

strengths and supports. Ask yourself what helps you to feel/think/do better in times of crises. Never give up hope! The teaching and training of children with disability is a lifelong process. The journey may be bumpy at times. However these children do improve with persistent and patient efforts, especially with the love and care of their families. 4) Partner with the Professionals: Parents and professionals together can be a formidable team for the child with autism. Make sure that you know what program has been planned by the teacher or

therapist. Ask what you can do at home. If both parents and professionals follow the same teaching plan and methods, the child’s progress will be faster and more enduring. 5) Early Intervention is the Best Intervention: Research has clearly proven that the earlier the child receives professional help and training, the better the long term outcomes, both for the child with special needs, as well as the family. Unfortunately often precious time gets wasted as families wait, hoping for the disability to go away or indulge in “doctor shopping”, running

from pillar to post trying to get a different diagnosis or an unproven cure. Autism has no cure, but every child can be helped with training. Self help skills like dressing, toilet training and feeding are crucial to developing independence and self esteem. 6) Ask for Help: Develop a list of things you need assistance with so that when someone asks you if they can help in some way, you have an answer. Items on such a list may include making a meal, doing shopping, paying utility bills or taking the children to a

park. 7) Show Off Your Child! Every child is a star! Take your child out into the world and use this opportunity to educate others. Remember that you can even teach your doctor a few things! Encourage your child to participate in social and recreational events. Enroll them in art competitions and Special Olympics whenever possible. This is not to push them to win, but to allow them to experience the joy and pride of participating and enjoying the limelight, like other children do. Sometimes parents hesitate to take their children to public events

as they worry that their child will be known as “abnormal”. The fact is that it is the right of every child to be given an opportunity to be a part of society and by hiding our children at home, we are doing them a serious injustice. At the end of the day it is our special child who is more important than what other people think. 8) Be Organized: Store your child's records – both medical as well as academic - in a folder. Recording a child's actions over time by video or notes in a journal is very helpful in assessing progress. File all the

information you collect on disability and its management – this can be a very useful resource to other parents who have just been told that their child has autism. 9) Accept Your Child: Finally, it is most important that you love your child and accept him or her as he or she is. This is crucial to coping with the diagnosis and the implications of care. Acceptance does not come overnight and there is no easy way. Acceptance means that you recognize that your child has a disability and use this knowledge as a means to understanding his

behavior and development. It means that you do not blame yourself or others for your child’s condition and are able to help all who come into contact with your child to treat him with love, compassion and respect. Acceptance means that you are not ashamed of your child, but value him or her as a human being with an important place in this world. Wherever you go, people will be watching how you handle your child. If you have truly accepted your child with disability, are comfortable with his behavior and hold him in high esteem, this will show in your behavior towards him. People will derive comfort and confidence from you. However if you feel embarrassed and guilty, you will handle your child awkwardly and it will make the others around you uncomfortable too. The road to acceptance is often a long and arduous one, but here too, other parents who have been down that road will be your best guide. Treat your child as normally as possible. The more normally a person with

autism is treated, the better he/she is going to do. While it is important to recognize that while treating a child normally is the ideal, it may take the child with disability longer to learn the things necessary to function independently in society as an adult. With love, early intervention and education, people with autism can and do lead happy, productive lives and can be integrated into society. The problem is that society is not always tolerant of persons who are different. It is up to us as parents and professionals to educate society and help them understand and appreciate these very special people challenged by autism. Dr. Nandita de Souza is a Developmental Pediatrician at the Sethu Centre for Child Development & Family Guidance, Miramar, Goa. She has been working exclusively in the field of child and family mental health for the last 15 years.US: 1 in 150 children has AutismUS: 1 in 6 children suffers a developmental disorderNew Jersey: 1 in 94 has Autism UK: 1 in 86 has Autism China : Over 20 lakh autistic children,

India : No authentic figures, expected one crore+ (1 in 250) AUTISM IS NOTHING BUT MERCURY POISONING. THERE IS MERCURY IN VACCINES!!

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