RE: --S-A-- Don't let your child be labelled--THIS IS IMPORTANT!

[Guest guest]

Dear Captain Chemtrails:

 

I am wondering as I read your post what purpose of labeling offends you.

Labeling your kids through mental health screening and drugging them up and

using shrinks is not the idea in our family of being productive, but we have

found psychological evaluations with diagnoses to be mandatory with kids

with learning disabilities, handicaps, etc. There is never any requirement

to follow advice in order to use the evaluations for accommodations.

Labeling does not demand treatment. It is there to avoid misunderstanding.

 

For a long time, we believed that all " labeling " was bad because Bob Domain

of National Association of Child Development said it was bad. For years and

years, we bent over backwards to avoid labeling, which was possible since we

homeschooled and at the time none of our kids were in college.

 

We later learned the hard way that labeling is a necessary kind of

protection for parents. We learned that the hard way nine years ago. Our

second child (out of 8), then 18, had many, many disabilities that caused

misunderstanding, most of which she was born with. We had never labeled

this daughter despite her handicaps although she had been evaluated. She

ended up leaving home with the help of people; she seemed pathetic, and she

could not understand when people were helping her and when they were not.

She believed bad things were being done to her at home, when this was not

so. She never learned to work with her family because there were always

people who enabled her, always do-gooders making it easier for her to live

" on her own " . Because of her " pathetic " appearance, and the fact her speech

easily fell apart, she did not experience consequences for her actions. Her

entire appearance was that she needed help. The aid in running away began

at church, where we had not informed people of her condition for fear of

labeling her.

 

This daughter has had hand-outs for nine years from society in one way or

another. The explanation we have received is that she seems " so pathetic " .

With all of this help, she remains " on her own " . This entire situation has

hurt each member of our family in one way or another, and we have a large

family. She has younger siblings who barely know her. Currently, someone

is making it possible for her to live in a house 1300 miles away for free

and possibly own the house someday.

 

Our one regret is that we now wish we had done more diagnosing and labeling,

and that there would have been more explanation of her differences to people

in church and other places. Going so far out of our way to not label paid

off very badly. The experience our family has endured, we would not wish on

anyone.

 

Labeling is sometimes mandatory for accommodations in school, particularly

college. Until this becomes a factor, it may appear that diagnosing and

labeling does not help the patient and only serves as good protection for

the family, who can not always shoulder the blame for that which is not

their doing.

 

14 years ago, we were reported to Child Protective Services for " failure to

thrive " on our Down Syndrome newborn infant. This was embarrassing to the

social workers and easily resolved, much more easily resolved than when

ignorant people helped our 18 year old with conceptual processing, auditory

processing problems, and visual processing problems leave home.

 

We have several children, now adults, with learning disabilities. The kids

do not like to be labeled, but as time passes this is unavoidable because

the label gives them more time on exams, and as for the parents, this

prevents a lot of judgment.

 

Labeling is extremely awkward, and those of us who homeschool will always

receive blame for differences that are usually shouldered by the schools.

The more learning disabled your child is, the more everyone is hurt by going

out of your way as we did to avoid labeling.

 

As time passes, and more labeling is done with proper respect, the proper

perspective may eventually be taken. Labeling sometimes avoids terrible

judgmental attitudes when people see something they do not understand. It

is not that everything is everyone's business, but without some labeling,

there are bound to be lots of victims, especially parents and siblings.

 

Please remember, diagnosis does not require treatment or drugs, but enables

understanding of the situation and treating the problem naturally. The best

neuro-psychologist we have found is an allopath, and we share mutual

respect. He knows we do not allopathic treatment and do not use shrinks,

and he respects that. We respect his fine evaluations. He is the only

allopath we use.

 

Marian