Relationship Health

[Guest guest]

Of course I take it as " religious " . After all, if you

don't do these things religiously you may end up

really believing the king has clothes. He does,

dosen't he? Oh well, there I go again. I even think

that federal reserve notes are money... How dumb can

you get anyway? Meditate and maybe in the 'here and

now' that will all go away for a while, and we can be

at peace to face the real problems of the day...

 

PS. Sometimes I think we are so 'SELF' centered we

really could care less that the world we live in is

just a big lie.

 

--- " Misty L. Trepke " <mistytrepke wrote:

 

> Hi everyone... I hope this is not mis-interpreted

> as " religious " ... Just a reminder that our inner

> peace (no matter

> how we connect to it) plays a big role in our

> physical, mental,

> emotional health...

> Be Well,

> Misty

> http://www..com

>

> Relationship Health

>

> http://www.doctoryourself.com/relationship.html

>

> RELATIONSHIPS WITHOUT SUFFERING

> Copyright C 2001 John I. Mosher, Ph.D

> Professor Emeritus, State University of New York

>

> SUFFERING AND ATTACHMENT

> Suffering arises from attachment to desire. One

> example is the desire that things have to be the way

> one thinks they ought to be.

>

> Suffering arises when one is not living in the

> present: not being right here, right now.

>

> When the mind-ego is in charge it can wander in its

> thinking to the past and become angry or upset about

> some event long gone. Or the thinking mind can

> worry

> about what might be or might happen. In either case

> there is suffering because one is not living in the

> present, the NOW, this minute.

>

> Qualities of the Heart, the Spirit or Soul.

> Compassion

> Selflessness

> Tolerance

> Equanimity

> Fearlessness

> Non-attachment

> Love without condition

>

> All of these qualities of the Soul are facilitated

> and

> brought forth by the practice of:

> 1. Regular Meditation (Misty's Note- if you don't

> like this term,

> substitute prayer)

> 2. Regular Prayer

> 3. Remembering the Divine

> 4. Self-discipline, i.e. practice being in the

> present, practice having compassion, being selfless,

> tolerant and having equanimity. Practice

> fearlessness, non-attachment, and love without

> condition. Cultivating these positive states of

> mind

> may be considered one of the most effective ways for

> obtaining the state of HAPPINESS!

>

> RELATIONSHIPS

> A relationship between two people can be a spiritual

> path, a yoga.

>

> It can be a way to grow in love, light and

> happiness.

> It is a difficult path. Some sages say the " Yoga of

> Relationships " is the toughest of all because it

> deals

> with the most powerful emotions on the planet. The

> opportunity continuously presents itself to fall

> into

> negative states of mind which would be anything less

> than love. Ones fear of not getting what one wants

> or

> losing what one has is ever present in those not

> practicing the cultivation of HAPPY STATES OF MIND.

>

> The more the mind--ego is in charge the more one is

> controlling, has fear and suffers. Through regular

> practice of the above (1,2,3, and 4), the soul is

> gradually put in charge and the " soul qualities'

> shine

> forth. In this state the individual has put the

> mind

> and ego in its proper place as SERVANT to the soul.

>

> The ego as a servant is wonderful. It reminds you to

> take care of your physical self and stay out of

> harm's

> way, except in extreme mental unbalances where a

> person wants to destroy their physical body. THE EGO

> IS A WONDERFUL SERVANT BUT A TERRIBLE MASTER! The

> mind is a powerful and wonderful servant. It can

> plan, balance check books, send a man to the moon,

> and

> more. But put in charge, it can easily destroy ones

> happiness, and cause much anguish and suffering.

> The

> person regularly cultivating positive states of

> mind,

> using self-discipline to regularly do the above four

> steps, uses the ego–mind as a tool. Use the mind to

> plan a vacation; great. Then hang it up as you would

> a

> drill or any tool after use. When again needed use

> it, but always remember to put it away when

> finished!

>

> What has been suggested in the above writing is very

> foreign to our cultural and educational conditioning

> here in America, and in western civilization

> generally. We can easily see the results of the

> mind

> and ego being in charge. We have enormous

> environmental and social problems as a result of

> this

> orientation. This mind-based orientation is

> threatening to destroy the very environment we

> depend

> upon for our physical existence.

>

> A relationship can also be destroyed by the mind-ego

> being in charge.

>

> A relationship can change when the soul, the spirit,

> the heart is in charge. It will not be destroyed by

> change.

>

> Control of others comes from fear, which is a

> mind-ego

> quality. Trying to control others is a waste of

> time.

> All one gets from efforts to control another is the

> anger and resentment of the other. That, and also

> the

> stressing of oneself over the situation one is

> attempting to control. Nothing positive is

> accomplished.

>

> Control in a relationship is a sign of FEAR. FEAR

> IS

> THE GREAT ENEMY TO HAPPINESS.

>

> In a relationship, it is important to work on ones

> self. When anger and frustration or anything less

> than love arises in ones feeling toward the other,

> that is a signal. It is a signal to look within. At

> this point it takes courage to face ones self and be

> totally honest about what perception or attitude

> must

> be change to be in line with the practice of

> unconditional love.

>

> Play-acting will not do. Denial will not do. One

> can

> only work on ones self. Ultimately, we must focus

> on

> our self and not our partner or another.

>

> If both partners in a relationship are practicing

> 1,2,3,and 4, and working on cultivating positive

> states of mind and being in the present, THEY ARE

> DOING THEIR SPIRITUAL WORK!

>

> (August 9, 2001)

> Reprinted with permission of the author.

>

>

>