Ten Ways to Nurture Relationships

[Guest guest]

Dr. Walt, I got this from your board...

Nice article!!

Be Well,

Misty

http://www..com

 

 

Ten Ways to Nurture Relationships

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1. Eat " Happy " Foods

 

You not only are what you eat, but you act like what you eat, too.

Food affects mood, behavior and relationships.

If you eat foods that create bliss, your relationships will be

happier, too.

 

Foods that support happy moods are fresh, whole, and organic. The

more fresh and digestible the foods, the more

they create ojas, the biochemical equivalent to bliss and happiness.

Meals that include lots of fresh fruits and

vegetables, whole grains, fresh milk products such as panir and

lassi, healthy oils such as ghee and olive oil, and

unprocessed sweeteners are recommended in Ayurveda. Foods that are

cooked fresh each day by yourself

with love or by someone who loves you are considered the most ojas-

producing.

 

Recently a school in Appleton, Wisconsin, banned all fast food

chains, candy machines and soft drinks from the

premises. Instead they fed the children and teenagers whole grain

breads and well-rounded meals cooked with

old-fashioned recipes. Since instituting the program, the principal

and teachers report that violence, fighting, and

truancy are markedly down, while grades and attention spans have

soared. Other area schools are adopting a similar

program as a result.

 

2. Prevent Relationship Meltdown

 

Almost everyone wants to be loving, kind, considerate and

supportive. The trouble comes when the stress of daily

living becomes too great, and then tempers flare, anxiety surfaces,

and you find yourself saying or doing something

you later regret.

 

To prevent this type of relationship meltdown, plan your day to

prevent stress from building up. The Ayurvedic routine

aligns your daily rhythms to be in tune with Nature.

 

Exercising every day, for instance, is extremely helpful in keeping

the emotions balanced. Breathing deep and inhaling

fresh oxygen while outdoors is especially helpful in banishing

fatigue, depression and anxiety.

 

3. Give Yourself A Break

 

Getting enough sleep is another key to preventing relationship

meltdown. Lack of sleep can cause anxiety,

anger and depression-and certainly doesn't help relationships.

 

Research shows that most adults need 8-8 1/2 hours a night, and

children need up to 12 hours.

 

The most direct and effective means of dissolving stress--both the

day-to-day kind and the deep-rooted

stresses that can ruin relationships--is to practice Meditation.

Give yourself and

your family a meditation break twice a day and watch your

relationships blossom.

 

4. Practice Unconditional Forgiveness

 

It's important to forgive unconditionally. " Saying you forgive a

person if she changes her behavior is conditional

forgiveness, " says Vaidya Mishra, Director of Research and Product

Development at Maharishi Ayurveda. " This creates a

hidden slow poison that later manifests in the relationship as a

dangerous, deadly sickness. "

 

The heart craves unconditional forgiveness. " The mind is always

trying to set some conditions, but if you forgive

someone unconditionally it will be more healing for yourself, "

explains Vaidya Mishra. " If you practice this

over time, your overall attitude and behavior will become more

nourishing--and that helps build and maintain

relationships. "

 

He adds, " Unconditional forgiveness keeps the mind under the

influence of the heart. That's what you need in

relationships--your heart predominating over your mind. "

 

5. Look to Yourself First

 

Problems in relationships are often caused by an imbalance in

Sadhaka Pitta, the subdosha of Pitta concerned with the

heart.

 

" When Sadhaka Pitta is out of balance, the first symptom is to

think, 'I am right and my friend is wrong,' " says Vaidya

Mishra. " At a time when you should look to yourself to correct the

situation, you end up blaming others. "

 

Vaidya Mishra suggests following the lead of the saint Kabir. Kabir

said that when he started to look honestly at

his life, he found that he had to rectify his own behavior more than

others did theirs.

 

" Whenever your heart tells you to blame your spouse, your partner,

or your friend, take that as an opportunity to scan

your own behavior, to see what you might have done to create that

difficult situation, " advises Vaidya Mishra. " If you

are honest, most of the time you will find that you have done

something to create the crisis-and maybe the other

person has also made a mistake, but not as big an error as you first

may have thought. This sort of attitude goes a

long way in preventing a fight. "

 

To keep Sadhaka Pitta in balance, eat plenty of sweet, juicy fruits

and other cooling, Pitta-pacifying foods. Rose Petal

Preserve is a delicious tonic for Sadhaka Pitta. Add it to warm milk

before bed, or spread it on toast. Any time you

feel yourself blaming someone else, take a teaspoon of Rose Petal

Preserve and watch your thinking become more balanced.

The Blissful Joy herbal tablets and aroma are also designed to

uplift emotions and balance Sadhaka Pitta.

 

6. Know Your Limitations

 

It helps to know your own strengths and weaknesses. If you tend to

get cranky when you delay or skip meals, do yourself

and your loved ones a favor and organize your life so you can

regularly eat your meals before you get too hungry.

Keep a juicy pear or other healthy snack handy for those times when

you really can't eat on time.

 

For anyone with strong Pitta, eating three regular meals is

important, and you may need to plan a late-afternoon snack

as well. Eat your main meal at noon to pacify Pitta, and lighter

meals in the morning and evening, and take Blissful

Joy tablets.

 

For Kapha body types, you may find that lethargy gets in the way of

healthy relationships. Take care to wake up early,

before 6:00 a.m.; eat light, Kapha-pacifying foods; exercise every

day; and take Fatigue Free tablets. The invigoration

you'll feel from balancing Kapha dosha will infuse new life into

your relationships as well.

 

Vata types should be careful not to let excessive worries or

anxieties cloud perceptions. Be sure to get plenty of rest,

meditate regularly, do a daily Ayurvedic oil massage, and eat a

nourishing, warm Vata-pacifying diet. Worry Free Tea

and tablets help calm mental stress and improve relationships.

 

7. Understand the Needs of Others

 

Paying attention to the influence of the doshas can also help you

understand the behavior of others. While you may

be able to process disappointments quickly, for instance, your wife

may take much longer to get over a negative

situation. Rather than criticizing her, it's best to recognize that

she needs more time to recover, and to give

her the love and encouragement she needs.

 

If your child is often disorganized and forgetful, this may be due

to a Vata imbalance. You can help him feel more

grounded by preparing foods that are warm, nourishing, cooked and

unctuous. Using the Vata, Pitta and Kapha

Churnas and teas makes it easy to accommodate each family member's

needs even if their body types are different from

yours.

 

8. Practice Harmonizing Behaviors

 

It helps to make a habit of harmonizing. Positive behaviors not only

help relationships, research shows that they also

make us feel healthier and live longer. The ancient Ayurvedic texts

emphasise this connection between behavior

and health, and offer guidelines for health-producing behaviors

called achara rasayana. These behaviors are

considered to be as longevity-enhancing as the special herbal

elixirs known as rasayanas.

 

Achara rasayana includes being truthful, calm, free of anger,

nonviolent, charitable, simple, well-behaved,

positive, self-controlled, unconceited, devoted to love and

compassion, and having control of the senses.

 

Achara rasayana doesn't mean forcing yourself to think positively-it

means cultivating a state of health in which

it's natural to act harmoniously. These choices include the

Ayurvedic diet and daily routine, and in particular

abstaining from alcohol, engaging in meditation, staying balanced in

sleep and wakefulness, eating saatvic foods such

as ghee, knowing the measure of time and place, and keeping the

company of the wise.

 

9. Plan Quiet Time Together

 

Sometimes the sheer noise of our busy lives can get in the way of

relationships. Try infusing some soothing scents and

sounds into your home environment. Gandharva Veda music, for

instance, even if played at a low volume in a corner of

the house, creates a harmonizing, calming effect on the entire

household. Aroma candles such as Calming (Vata),

Blissful Joy, Slumber Time or Worry Free can make everyone feel more

relaxed and blissful.

 

Try creating " noise free " zone each evening in which you turn off

the TV, turn down the lights, and spend a half hour

listening to music, talking, or reading a book out loud. Spending

quiet time together before bed can be as nourishing

to adults as children.

 

10. Make Blissful Choices

 

By now you may be thinking: " How am I going to find time to cook

healthy foods, follow an Ayurvedic routine, work my job

and still take care of my family? "

 

This is where your power of choice comes in. Will you feel happier

watching the latest episode of The Bachelor or

getting an extra hour of sleep? Is your time better spent preparing

a loving and healthy meal for your family or

poring over work you have brought home?

 

Eating the right foods and following an Ayurvedic routine does take

time, but it is time well spent. The good thing

is that taking care of your own physical, mental and emotional

health will nurture your relationships too. And

that is a win-win situation we all want to cultivate.