Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 I saw a picture yesterday, of the Sahasra Poorna Chandra Darshan day during last year's Birthday celebrations of Swami. I don't know why, but this one picture kept coming to mind through out the day yesterday, and again this morning. It was a picture of thousands of women watching Swami passing by on His golden chariot, their arms raised up high - to pray, to take in His blessings, to catch a glimpse. While in my shower this morning, I realized what kept me going back to that picture - it was the fact that their arms were raised up so high, their hands in prayer. I have never done that - may be my self-consciousness, may be false decorum, may be shyness - my hands have never gone up above my head in prayer. So while in the shower, very private, I tried it - I put my hands up - stretched out and above my head, and closed my eyes. I wasn't at all prepared for the wracking sobs that came out of me! I felt like for the first time ever, I had completely surrendered - appropriate too, that I was naked - it felt so liberating, so relieving, such a release, to just let go of something that holds me back, and just give in, give up, surrender. It reminded me of Draupadi doing just that in the midst of a courtful of people, when her sari was being pulled off - how did she have the courage to give up control, put up her hands and pray at such a vulnerable time?? It reminded me of Gajendra, the elephant, who was only saved the instant he gave up fighting the mighty crocodile, and instead prayed. Not just prayed, but completely gave up his self, his ego, his trials - only then was he completely open to letting God in. I have sat in my puja room many times before, and promised that I have indeed surrendered. And I have felt the peace that came with those prayers. I'm quite happy these days to accept each day as it comes, and whatever it brings with it. And it has been a pretty peaceful period of time for me. So I wasn't at all expecting to feel what I felt when I put my hands up and closed my eyes. Granted it was only in the privacy of my shower, and not in the jaws of a crocodile in a river. Granted I wasn't in a pitiful shameful situation in the midst of a thousand men. But I still felt the sweet, sweet release of surrender. I only hope and pray that I will remember to surrender in each and every situation, big or small, without any struggle or resistance. I hope I will have the courage to let go, give in, surrender - completely, always! Sarvasya Sharanagati is what Swami calls it, and now I've had a tiny glimpse of what it really means. Sai Ram and Love, sai_sravanthi_999 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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